Self Confidence Isn't Completely Up To You

Self Confidence depends on two things

1) What do you think about you
2) What do you think that people think about you

For #1; You can change the thoughs about yourself however you can't change the thoughs of people about you. (#2) Because people have fixed specific judges.

What do you think about it?

Hi Blackhole,

I think what you wrote is true.

Closely related to the concept of self-confidence and self-esteem, is self-image. In my view, self-image leads everything.

Many people live with a perceived "gap" in their self-confidence or abilities. But this "gap" is simply the difference between imagined limitations and actual limitations. This gap is your personal self-image. People can achieve all sorts of things. But this perceived gap, based on a faulty self-image, holds them back.If you can see yourself as accurately as you can your self-esteem and self-confidence naturally improves.

Now, this is easier said then done. Which is why your point number two is so important: How others see you. Psychologically, it appears to be easier to accept what others think about you, rather then what you think about yourself. Feedback appears to be so important to the human condition. We all want others to see us and when they find us in approval, to let us know. This boosts our self-esteem. When others finds us in dis-approval, this lowers our self-esteem.

But as you suggest, people will react to us in all kinds of ways. No person's opinion of us is greater then our OWN opinion of ourselves. This is why trying to spend some time and getting an accurate reflection of who we are is so important.

I will close with an old quote, that I have always liked.

"A man is, what he thinks about all day long!" William James.


Be well!

I think #2 brings a very pessimistic scenery. Because some people don't have a chance to be accepted by their society at all.

Think about beauty parameters that Hollywood created. It's the most prominent and understandable example.

However many folks have their specific norms and one may be out of the folk he lives.