Am I Not Enough For Him?!

Hello everyone!

I have BPD, so I have lots and lots of self esteem issues. On one hand I know i'm pretty, good looking and a woman who has "everything in place". However, my boyfriend of 1 yr and a half seems to prefer every other girl but me to stare at. Everywhere we go, he never holds my hand, walks almost 1km away from me (in the supermarket, for example) and doesnt seem to show any pride in having me as a girlfriend in front of his friends. That kind of hurts.

I'm already a horrible person to myself most of the time, and like I said before, on one hand I know for real that I am a great woman on the inside and out, but with these atitudes of his, I doubt myself and start convincing myself that I'm not really worth anything. That I've got nothing it takes to be the "girl" for him.

Yesterday we went food shopping and I noticed that him and this girl with a tank top and a pierced belly, were looking at each other. I inicially brushed it off, thinking to myself that it was just my head playing games on me. But then it happened again. Ok, i might be borderline, but i'm not dumb or blind. However, I kept my mouth shut, and when we were at the check out, the tank top girl came right behind us. Great. So, as I love driving myself crazy, I grabbed a few of the bags and headed for the exit just to see what he would do. He then bent down to grab the water gallons and as he was coming back up, I saw him look up and lock his eyes with hers. Purposely.

It isnt the first time he does this, so I know I aint going psycho, but I got really jealous and mad. Why?! Is it because she has a skinny belly and pierced?? Is it because she's tall as a giraffe? I just dont get it.

Well, to wrap it up, I don't know why he does this. And it affects me really much... Does anyone else has this problem with their spouse or boy/girlfriend? And how do you cope with it?

Thank you for being here for me.
XOXO

Hello,

I had this problem with an ex of mine – we went to a club and I realised he was dancing with everybody, boys and girls alike, just not me. When I started meds and gained weight, I was getting dressed and he said "I hope you're not going out like that". I said, bewildered, "but you like those pants". He responded "that must have been a few kilos ago".

It didn't last long – six months – and those were some of the reasons he's an ex now. I've been in another relationship for almost 5 years now, married for months and let's say my husband is a bit nicer I believe that a relationship should make your life better. Does his presence make your life better?