Self esteem issues

Hello all,

I am a 22 year old college student. I have two years left on degree and I feel utterly trapped, I will graduate with 6 years of studies. I don't know what to do. I was originally a biochemistry major. I made it all the way to ochem I and got my ass kicked the first time. Took it a second time and got a B got to ochem two took it twice and got my ass kicked twice. Good bye chem major. Although i will say it is for the better as no one with out a phd in chem or biochem will get anywhere. It is a very low paying bachelors degree. My former roomate is now a lab tech for 15 dollars an hour or so, You can make more mowing lawns for a couple of years prolly around 20 an hour if the boss likes you. Anyways so I took calculus I and the teacher was impressed, got recommended to take more math classes (most of it was just me studying material ahead and answering questions that no one knew because they hadn't seen it yet), got to calculus II had some success didnt really study ahead but ended up with a c and a good chunk of material not understood, probablly some of the most important in my studies, series and sequences are very important. I then studied ahead and took linear algebra and got an A wohoo, I studied ahead and was not even the best student in the class I was maybe at the 60 percent mark or lower. Now its onto calc three and I have to struggle to get the material this summer, Ive gotten two chapters down, we have 5 in class. I have been a daily user on math stack exchange and quite frankly I feel like an idiot. I can't even answer a single question on that website. Everyone seems to be better at it and at a higher level than me. I feel just feel stupid all I know is computation its a real pain to learn the concepts, someone posted about modeling a robotic arm and it was all trig (I should know this) the equations were literally just addition and subtration of differnt angles from answerer, I had no idea where any of this came from. The further I progress the more I feel like this isn't for me and i can't turn around. If I can't master this I feel like an idiot. I would mention that this has lead to SWIM to want to do certain things to themself but that is not allowed on this site. PS I took an online iq test and got a 95, only 20 points from disability, what am I to make of all of this, I can't even go to class without fearing perople thinking I am an idiot some wont study ahead, and will barely study, and get a higher grade...I am just lost. Advice please.

Really no replies....great ######6 site here. *mod edit*

*mod edit*

No-one's here as an expert. And we don't have any paid members responding. So we're all following the Golden Rule. Help other people, and hopefully they'll help you. Replying to other people's posts yourself. Is a good way to get to know people. Which makes them more likely to reply here. And helps grow our community so everyone gets replies.

My former roomate is now a lab tech for 15 dollars an hour or so, You can make more mowing lawns for a couple of years prolly around 20 an hour if the boss likes you.

But you can't work up the ladder doing lawns. Unless you start your own business. Whereas being a lab tech. Can be a great stepping stone to far more interesting and lucrative work. It's worth playing the long game.

The further I progress the more I feel like this isn't for me and i can't turn around.

Where did you want to go originally? Did you have a particular career in mind? Or an area of interest that you were hoping to go into? Or is it mostly coming from external sources- the teacher recommending more courses?

To me your post seemed to be more of a rant than anything i cant see any questions ??

I echo Ada we are not paid to reply but as she said so nicely "start getting to know the members here" instead of getting frustrated because of no replies (to no actually questions that i saw) then maybe you will find this site useful

No questions = no replies (logical to me)
sorry if you don't see from other peoples perspective...this is only my view of why no replies

i havent read your post before now as i am in BPD and NPD forums mostly
i hope this explains a little better for you
(things are NOT always as they seem) not in this life at least

Why don't you work on yourself, you should be self-confident and be more open when socializing with the others.

I have 1 year left before I go to college, so I have been thinking about what college would be like. I decided if I started feeling like everyone was understanding the material except me and that everyone was smarter than me, I would "hunt" down one of these smart people, no matter what it took and ask for help. I know I don't get everything by myself. It annoys me, but I'm not a genius. So, what I would do in your shoes is ask one of your peers for help and look at your problems through a new perspective. Maybe, you'll even make a friend in the process