Stuff

I am always so insecure and not sure of my reasons.

I feel like stop writing, but I fell I need to do this at the same time.
I feel like deleting some commentaries on Facebook.
I feel that I need help.

I've read some posts here and felt familiar with some, specially the "I'm nothing" one.

There is a girl.
She's so distant from everyone it's attractive, I see myself so many times trying to change my personality I don't know for sure of what I am.
I broke up with a girl that were fun at the start (2 weeks after another break), we laughed so much and we would always get home and start to write to each other.
I never did see her right in front of me, just in photos.
It was the best thing I had in my life, she would come with photos and maybe videos of what happened in her days and we would talk and talk about this and random stuff.
I broke up with her after 1 year long-distance with a lot of long-term plans and now I am copying this text to make a backup if something happens.
With the time, we started to grow up and getting "mature".
I started to realise we were changing each other, and when I saw we became boring (comparing to before).
I mean, she were noticing it too, our last talks were about how different we are.
Don't wanna talk about it anymore.

I want to have some disease, I love people with social problems. I don't know what is messed up exactly, but it's not just one thing.
I don't know if I am a sponge or if I am with indecisions to choose what I am. When I see that are genuinely quiet all of the time and seems interesting, I change my behavior all of a sudden and... I try to stare at something.

I don't want to continue, my ideas are messy.

Also, I have a concentration problem and I started appreciating it for some idea that came into my head...
I stare at car's windows to see if someone will start a conversation with me and will be the person that want me, I don't know.

I don't know this mess.