How I changed my self esteem

I realized that my problematic characteristics are not my fault, and no one should be judged for doing things that are not his/her fault. You don't choose being an agressive person, or having any problematic behavior.
Don't you guys think that, if our society accepts the fact that someone can't raciocinate, can't remeber his/her own name, can't have higiene, acts in an agressive way, etc (dementia), because these characteristics were not chosen by this person, then our society has to accept other mistakes that are less grave and were not chosen by the ones who have them.
If you accept a determined mistake, you have to accept the mistakes that are less grave than the mistake you accept. Right?
So, what is worse? Being gay or not being able to remember your mother's name? There are many mistakes that are less grave than the behavior of a person with dementia. So, if society accepts dementia, why doesn't it accept our mistakes? If our mistakes were not chosen by us, the same the behavior of a person with dementia was not chosen by this person?
We can't even say that we made mistakes. Doing something not on purpose is not a mistake. Mistakes are made on purpose.
Don't you guys agree with me?

Now my self esteem is low again.
I understand that it's not my fault the fact that I have the characteristics that I have, and it's not my fault the fact that I have been disrespectful to others, because I don't choose to have the desire of being disrespectful and I can't be blamed for acting on this desire and doing wrong things to others. Expecting someone to think: ''I have to be rude and aggressive'' and not be rude and aggressive is expecting someone to have an abnormal behavior, because the normal behavior is to follow your opinions, and not to have an opinion that you should do bad things to others and don't follow it. Do you agree with me? So I should not feel bad about myself. But I do, because I had preconceptions about myself and about people with mental problems. I used to think that people with mental problems, including myself, were losers. And I feel bad because of this preconception because I think no one will accept the fact that I had this preconception. But I disagree with the negative judgement that people do about the fact that I had a preconception. Because I think people should not blame be for having a thought, because I don't choose my thoughts. Do you agree?
I had another preconception: I thought that men were inferior to women, because I grew up seeing my dad act as an inferior person, with his low self esteem. And I feel bad because people don't accept this preconception. But I think that people should accept the preconception that I had about people with mental problems. And, if you accept a kind of preconception, you should accept all kinds. Because all preconceptions are equally bad, aren't they? Racism, sexism, preconceptions about people with mental problems, are all wrong opinions about people who have the same value. Do you think there is a preconception that is graver than another?
Another reason why my self esteem is low because I think I won't find a partner, is because everybody judges behavior that is not caused by a disease. I don't understand, because I think that every behavior that is not someone's fault should not be a reason to hate the person who has this behavior, regardless if it is caused by a disease or not. Do you guys agree?

One thought: killing an animal without necessity is worse than many mistakes. And people kill animals without necessity to eat their meat. So, if these people are not judged, then I should not be judged too, because the mistakes I made are less grave than the mistake of killing an animal. Throwing an animal on the wall is an acceptable mistake. Do you guys agree?