I posted a thread in the main forum already, but I like this place so here's more.
I've literally been called a god by women and men alike, attractiveness and intelligence-wise. I love myself more than everything, but my ego only comes from people's admiration. I wouldn't have such a messiah complex if people weren't always complimenting me. But a lot of the time I think I'm a failure, a disgrace to my own beliefs (since recently I've been feeling anxiety and emotion as I said in my other thread) and a coward (because suicidal thoughts).
I also have been criticizing my own appearance (not in a cosmetic way like my nostril width is too large for my septum), remarking on how disgusting I look sometimes.
I don't need any reassurance or help, I just think it's really funny how that works. Are there any others with a similar story?