Not sure where to post - new member - unsure who I am

Hey, everyone, I found this forum on Google while searching for advice.

I don't really know how to start or where to start, or if I should just keep it simple.

I guess, my problem is, I don't know who I am. I don't even know how I'm supposed to "look". I'm almost 21 years old, and I don't know myself. I feel like everyone I know, everyone I used to know, has achieved something, and knows who they are.

I can't seem to love myself. No matter how hard I try. I don't know how to find myself. I don't know what I want to do with my life. I was diagnosed with anxiety, psychosis, depression, O.D.D, and B.P.D, and I struggle, every day, with this problem.

I feel like I swing between being two different people, sporadically. One day I could be confident, really funny, uncaring about my appearance, or maybe I'll even feel like I look good that day. I'll be able to leave the house without a second glance in the mirror, I won't have to wear my coat with the hood up, or hide behind my hair.

And the next day I won't be able to look in the mirror, it'll take me four hours to leave the house for a two minute walk up the street, because I'll be trying to fix my hair, trying to make myself look reasonable.

I feel like I'm looking for something, but I don't know what. I know that sounds stupid. I don't know what I'm looking for but I feel like, if I find it, everything else will be repaired. When I try and discuss my problems with counsellors or even family, all I get is, "appearance isn't everything" and, "you can't rush your life" and while that might be good advice for some, it doesn't fix my problem. They're just words.

Does anyone have any advice? On how to find out who you are? I know almost nothing about myself, everything about me is in a direct conflict of something else about me. I don't know how to find myself.