?Fear of Fear?

Hi!
I'm Liz, and I'm a pretty normal teenager. I do have one problem that kills me everyday, and as proud of myself for getting over my other issues, I just can't seem to fix this one.
When I was younger I was a happy kid and I had not many problems and lots of friends. Then I went to 7th grade, and went into this massive awkward faze that I got over last year. My junior year of highschool was AWESOME. Its not like I had no friends when I was awkward, I had a good amount, but I had a lot of issues about my social life and how my click wasn't neccessarily the most popular. I was optomistic, and in 10 & 11th grade I really got SO much better. I dress better now, know how to put on makeup, dyed my hair blonde, and joined a school team and dance classes. I'm really glad that I worked through that to turn into the usually happy, social adept person that I was in especially 11th grade. I was cool most of the summer, but now I am SO AFRAID of turning back into what I use to be. I tell myself to let it go, that its in the past and all but I am SO scared that I'm completely having nervous breakdowns and I need HELP.The more I think about it the more old habits seem to come back, I can't push it out of my mind! School starts in 2 weeks, and I don't want to go into it with a bad attitude.Please please help! Advice? Please!

What did you used to be?
Was there anything wrong with your old clothes or hair?

To me there was... I just didn't feel good about myself in them. Then I got clothing that fit my body and didn't hang there, and I threw out my "grannie panties" and I felt better. I guess I am kind of shallow to some point, but I felt better. I know this sounds really bad.. but i wasn't shy anymore and I felt good & confident.

High school was a bore, i'd never been fond or trends or social clicks and the like.

If you strip away your makeup, clothes, trends, clicks and all those falsitys and are still content with yourself thats what should matter. Who you are, and that how people should view others aswell. Just live.....dont worry about all the trivial aspects of teenage high school life, they'll be over shortly anyway.

Theres something pretty cool about being UNcool

thanks for replying seriously.
I know its all superficial. I think I'll work on loving me for me. I still really feel much better in a "cooler click", but in writing it does sound dumb and airheady. Maybe my problem is I classify stuff too much~

You seem like a smart kid, loving yourself should be a priority. Of course being in a super cool kid group....lol, that sounded funny. Would have its perks. But people should never be drawn towards each other based upon material possesions, or social status and the like.

I realize that really isnt realist in a high school atmosphere, especially in todays day. But its a good general and moral point.

this may be hard to do but try and detach as much as possible your value and worth from the whole social click popularity thing. defining who you are and your happyness or mental health via shallow relationships and false thinking can really casue you pain, despair and depression down the road. trust me, i am a living example of this. i was very unsure of myself in high school until i started affiliating with certain clicks or popular party people. once i got some attention from these groups or from girls i then saw myself as having value and being ok. when i went off to college i was going to do anything i could to remain the cool guy, party guy and also do anything to prevent anyone from seeing who i used to be, which was quiet unpopular and awkward. well i took things too far and ended up with a major clinical depression, anxiety and OCD. the pain was so bad that i couldnt find my way out and am still trying today to find peace and happyness. my life has been on hold since 19 largely stemming from issues just like the ones u describe. the way u r feeling is so similar to the way i felt and it all seemed so important at the time but trust me it all means nothing and can cause serious emotional issues down the road if you dont accept yourself for who you are and not based on who likes you and what group you hang with. you have a great opportunity to really see who u are, who really likes the real you and develop and healthy self image....otherwise problems could develop where you essentially remain in the high school mindset forever....you'll be fine as you are, dont sweat it....

What is your definintion of cool because at my school there really is no "cool" people. Everyone has a groupd of freinds that they hang out with and there is what we call "group jumping" that happens alot. I am just wondering if your school is like this because most groups in mine dont really care about style besides a few.

Liz i think you should worry less about what others think and worry more about how you feel. The people who are "cool" are going to be out of your live totaly in about 4 years But you are going to be in your live for your whole live.

Just be yourself around people there is no need to fake it, if your friends are more then huge shallow bores then they shouldnt care what you wear or how you look but you personality.

I hope you find your "peace and happyness" jonathan.
One thing i can say is look to the future.

Liz!
I hope that you have a great time in high school. Enjoy yourself, make new friends & get involved. I've got a son who will be turning 21 soon. He loved his high school years and his teachers and friends loved him. He is now in his third year in college. One thing he noticed about college is that there isn't so many "cool" crowds to be in. The instructors could care less if you pass or fail a class. (LOL...with tuition so expensive he better not fail any ). Actually he made the Dean's list as a sophmore. But all of that to say this. Once you are out of high school things change drastically. You've got classes at all hours of the days. Your group of friends changes.

So please have a blast where you are right now. We really only have today to live...so my hope is that you will enjoy it

Sweetngentle

I talked to my friends about it and I feel a lot better, because of them and you.Thanks a lot, all of you! I looked through photos and stuff, and I realize that it really wasn't that bad. I guess I'll just stop trying to fix what's not broken. Thanks again <3