feel horrible

i am 25 years old i was recently diagnosed with anxiety and depression i dont even feel like the same person anymore this is so very hard my self esteem is so bad i feel like my girlfriend of 5 years is not happy with me and it hurts horribly i love her so much i just wish i could get my confidence back i have been on medication for 2 weeks i always think to myself if this does not work i dont even want to live i used to enjoy life now i hate life i have turned into a different person i used to be confident. i started to lose a little bit of hair on the crown of my head i just feel unattractive my girlfriend is beutiful i just feel so unconfident and unattractive that i am not good enough for her anymore i know she is not like that but it still bothers me. i would do anything to feel confident again i really want to enjoy life. i feel like i am always being judged by peolpe i hate my life right now

hi,
its really strange that you have changed now...and dont know how to get confidence.
i am a psychologist, i simply dont know what are the reasons behind your present condition,
can you explain what is so special thing in your life that has changed your mood?
is there anything changed in your life ..?
how you spend your days and night ,,how many members you communicate with in your family ?
thanks.
mona
trying to solve your problem if get accurate answer.

you did nail one thing on the head i do not talk to my parents and i havent for a little while now i have 2 brothers and 2 sisters i really only talk to my 16 year old sister who has a horrible time living at home she even stayed with me for a short time my mother is a very mentally abusive person she never built any of us kids up always cutting us down i never had an exceptional amount of self-esteem because of it i was always just barely hanging on i felt. when i met my girlfriend 5 years ago i felt nothing could touch me i was so very happy we had some ups and downs in the past a few years ago but other than that things were very good i would say a 3-4 months ago she started hanging with a group of girls that all i heard about them was how bad and slutty they were(i heard all of this from my girlfriend) anyways she is now hanging with them quite a bit i will be honest it bothered me very badly at first i am over it now. anyways 3-4 months ago she met with another guy i am very confident she did not cheat i will be honest this is what sent me over the edge. we have worked through the problem but from that point on i feel unattractive not good enough etc. i really feel very horrible on my days off or after work i lay around and watch tv couped up in the house i blow my friends off constantly i feel too embaressed to talk to anyone. i did see a counselor for a few sessions it helps for a very short time this is unlike me depression is kicking me in the butt i feel like everything important to me is falling apart my family(even though there is disfunction its still family someone to talk to) my girlfriend no matter what she tells me i still feel totally horrible about myself i dont sleep very good at night i lost a little bit of weight i need help please please please

It pains me to come to the self-esteem forum, but Ill make this quick.

Depression hurts everyone, youre hurting your girlfriend while you hurt yourself. Youre cheating yourself.

The friends that you are flaking out on is what matters most. Your friends are your "exit" from depression. Its the small things that count. You must focus on being active... friends, exercise, and your girlfriend when time coincides. You live only once, life is short, your 20's are the best years of your life... take advantage of it.

Maybe try doing something or getting something that youve always been pining to get for years? I dont know what it is for you, but Im talking along the lines of "toys".... cars, trucks and things like that. Go on vacation with the girlfriend to Siesta Beach, FL or something.

Im just saying youve been given the chance to inspire others through action. Do whatever it takes... you have been given an opportunity others will never get. Reward yourself.