Self Esteem Issues?

Let me first off state that I have never been diagnosed to have a condition.

So Today was my first day at my new internship. Hooray! I did a great job today according to my boss but I feel as if I couldn't stop being anxious. I felt nervous around my new peers (which I suppose is normal considering it was my first day). I feel as if the only thing I could concentrate on is being "my normal self." Granted once again it was my first day but I feel as if it takes me more than a normal amount of time to adjust to new surroundings.

For example, when I went to a new school in 8th grade I became shy. Then when I changed schools for high school I was shy again for another full year. Then my sophomore year of HS I became more confident around my surroundings and could thoroughly enjoy myself. The remaining years of HS I was high school. And then I went to college....and I sank bank into that hole of shyness and not speaking my mind (even though I consider myself to be extroverted). It wasn't until my rising Jr. yr of college that I became confident and open again.

Today I started my new internship in Washington DC. It will only last 4 weeks and then I will go back to college but I feel as if I am sinking into the hole of shyness already. Washington is a completely new town for me so some nerves are expected but I feel as a drastic personality change is not normal and I have begun to notice a patter. Maybe I just have low-self esteem or maybe I GAD. But one thing is that I want to figure out my root cause of this of what seems to be a reoccuring pattern. If anyone can help or point me in any good direction I really would appreciate it.

Also, when I began to become happy and not shy I know that I was more confident. In HS my sophomore year I became the starting qb and now in college I took upon a leadership position in my fraternity.

We all have a mental picture of who we are, how we look, what we're good at, and what our weaknesses might be. We develop this picture over time, starting when we're very young. The term self-image is used to refer to a person's mental picture of himself or herself. A lot of our self-image is based on interactions we have with other people and our life experiences. This mental picture contributes to our self-esteem. *mod edit* health experts defines this term as it is all about how much we feel valued, loved, accepted, and thought well of by others — and how much we value, love, and accept ourselves. We all experience problems with self-esteem at certain times in our lives especially during our teens when we're figuring out who we are and where we fit in the world. The good news is that, because everyone's self-image changes over time, self-esteem is not fixed for life.

Hey dcintern,

It sounds like you need some time to become comfortable with your new surroundings before you can open up and let your true personality come out - And it sounds like once you do you're a lot more open, social, happy and expressive?

In my experience we all have moments where we don't know what to say, where we feel anxious around others and try and make a good impression. It kind of feels like forcing the conversation and trying to force your personality out and it feels very icky and uncomfortable.

The best thing you can do about this is to...
1 - Recognize when it's happening.
2 - Fully accept that you're in this lower level mode. You don't have to like it, but you do have to acknowledge it and accept that it will pass when it's ready.

You see you may feel shy and anxious around others at times, which happens to everyone, but when you start internally resisting against how you feel with thoughts like, "Why do i feel like this?" "I hate feeling this way" "I wish i was more confident right now", then you actually prolong the shyness and anxiety.

Next time you're feeling shy just tell yourself, "I'm feeling shy right now, that's ok, i don't mind".... This is so simple but it's so powerful, you're now accepting 100% how you feel and ironically this lack of resistance helps you mentally relax and unclogs your brain. I promise you you'll naturally feel a lot more relaxed after doing this, and from relaxation you'll start expressing yourself more, opening up to others and letting the good vibes flow!

Give it a go, let us know how it works

Alex

Recognising what you’re good at and trying to build on those things can be a really valuable way of building confidence in your own abilities.