Survey: Did something Trigger your SM?

Hello all,
I am doing a little survey here to see if there is anything that those with SM could attribute the condition with. My niece is 7 years old and has SM and she is gradually getting worse. She would talk to family frequently up until she was 5-6 and now she wont talk to anyone except her Mom. I am just trying to research the subject because there really isnt to much concrete information out there and I would like to collect some more on my own from those with SM. So, is there anything that can be remembered that could have been a trigger for the onset of SM? Maybe kids poking fun because of something said, or because of ones voice (high or low pitch), or anything like that? Also, is there anything family can do to make the individual with SM more comfortable with talking around just the family? Should we sit her down and explain what is going on? And if so, any suggestions for the best way to explain it? Any ideas and suggestions are welcome... I am taking notes and trying to accumulate data to better understand cause and effect and possible solutions to the problem. I appreciate your help

Hi, dpariet1! Could you talk to a child psych/counselor who has experience with treating kids with SM? Maybe they'd be able to give you info and advice. Hopefully someone more knowledgeable will post, please stick around.

I always look back on my SM as being a combination of ritual and stubbornness and can't really remember what triggered it. However, before the age of 6 when I developed SM I had a lot of experiences where I was bullied by adults, especially authority figures. Interestingly, my SM manifested such that I only did not talk to adults, so my theory is that it was a subconscious response to those experiences.

I'm not sure what triggered mine, I hate my voice and other people would make fun of me for it, no one listens to me when I speak, they always told me to shut up.

I can't pronounce words properly. I sometimes lisp, stutter or get words muddled up. It's embarrassing and people laugh. I can talk to my parents and brother just fine. I can't talk on camera, and I have to do a presentation soon, it has to be filmed for assessment. *sigh*

Hi!

I'm not sure what triggered my SM. Edited by moderator. Anyway, I have no problems using the language properly or something like that. No special or different accent etc.

Your niece is kind of young, if she was a teenager or like 12 i would suggest you to tell her she has selective mutism (But maybe you already have?). It made me happy to know that I'm not alone and if she was talking to other people who had the same problem on the internet for example, maybe it would make her feel a little better. Even though she might not start talking just because of that.

Some kids might think that they are completely alone with their problem, atleast that was what I was thinking, but not anymore. I suggest that you could buy children's books where there are people who also have selective mutism, or watch movies.

I have read some of Torey Hayden's books, and oh how I love them! There are certainly books for younger children as well, maybe you would be able to read the stories for her? "Why Dylan Doesn't Talk" perhaps? This is a trailer for the book: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHIuHVT3Vg4 I have not read the book myself. Anyway, good luck!

I can't remember what triggered my SM at age 4 but my parents went through a public career scandal with my father and I also attended a preschool where the head teacher was literally a mean old witch where I witnessed her spanking kids on the behind. She truly was someone to be feared in her appearance, attitude and behaviour. Prior to that, I can't remember. My brother who is 2 years old than me attended the same preschool.

My mother has photos of his class being on stage for some sort of year end concert and me literally running up on stage at age 3 and sitting next to him which the teachers including the mean old witch accomodated me and gave me a chair to sit on. included, is a picture of my mother on the side of cement wall of the stage attempting to get me off stage.lol. I don't think a child ( don't quote me on this one) with SM would do that in front of a 100 people due to children with SM being extremely shy in public situations but who knows. Remembering how I felt back then with SM and can still recall feelings of fear when being asked to speak in school like saying the alphabet, I don't think I would draw attention to myself by running up on stage in front of a huge crowd. I wouldn't want to draw attention to myself and to this day, I still don't.

So I've concluded that something happened at the school when I attended a year later and the anxiety of that mean old head teacher perhaps combined with the anxiety of what was going on with my father's career but not old enough to understand the details and why. Maybe I sensed the worry, stress and anxiety of my parents both individually and between them as a couple in our household and this probably affected me.

I believe my mother is also a narcissist and while she provided me with all the basics and remember her walking me to preschool and back everyday, I NEVER once heard her say she loved me nor was she affectionate. My Aunt soon moved in because of the situation with my dad when I started going to preschool and he left for work in another city. She was more affectionate, often taking my oldest sister and I on shopping trips every weekend but also no "I love you" . My dad would come back ocassionally and I spent more time with him and he was more affectionate but still not saying "I love you". Later he was physically abusive toward the 3 oldest. My Aunt basically took over while my mother was depressed in bed and also pregnant.

Today, my mother can barely hug her grandchildren and when they do it to her, it's very awkward for her and not phyically embracing on her side. She never made attempts to visit my daughter who is now a teenager but took control over my oldest sister's children and destroyed her relationship with the father of her children.

I don't know why I didn't speak and am now questioning if it had to do with my mother while I was in her care. She always used to watch soap operas after she picked me up from preschool and I'd watch them with her. I knew all the characters and the first name I wrote in kindergarten was a male character's name from the "Young and the Restless" which was Jack Abbott over and over. lol. The teacher asked my mother if it was an Uncle and i'm sure she was embarassed.

By age 6 and being coerced to speak by my parents and teacher, I just sort of grew out of it but was still somewhat quiet and shy in a few ways but most regard me now as someone who is feisty and speaks her mind.lol.

I'm still trying to figure it out even though I'm almost middle aged.

Our son is in kindergarten and has completely stopped talking to all adults including grand parents (he still speaks to us, his parents, but he mumbles pretty low at times. We have been racking our brains trying to figure out what caused it. I would say that it gradually appeared over the past year and is now a major issue now that he is in school. The only thing I can think of is that we put a pressure on him to get fully potty trained in years past. Eventually we gave up and he wears pull ups at night. I realize some kids just take longer to get potty trained at night so we eventually stopped trying to force it.

Online sources seem to say that SM is not caused by a trigger, but i'm glad you asked the question. we might as well conduct our own research. We could likely come up with as many data points as any local psychologist/psychiatrist. This condition appears to be extremely rare.