Unusual behaviours/habits or associated difficulities?

Hi everyone!

I'm new to the forum.

Stressed and concerned parent here! My 4 year old has had ongoing difficulties and we are I would say 100 percent sure she has Selective Mutism. She had seen a Paed, received Play Therapy, undergone various assessments and shortly we have an appointment and assessment with an Educational Psychologist.

She struggles with high anxiety. She also has some unusual behaviours and other struggles. We are basically wondering if she is mildly on the autism spectrum - perhaps Aspergers, or is it simply down to the anxiety/selective mutism and poss sensory sensitivities.

Do you or your selectively mute family/friends have any other unusual behaviours, habits or struggles at all?

Hi (:

I'm not selectively mute anymore, although i was for a time as a child.. i do however have aspergers and if you'd like to describe the symptoms you mentioned that your daughter has, I can help a little as to whether they fit with aspergers or not.

It's more common for a child on the spectrum to be selectively mute than it is for a child that isn't on the spectrum..

Thank you so much for your reply and apologies for the delay in my reply!

So basically, there has been a whole catalogue of anxious and aggressive or unusual behaviours from when she hit around 18 months. She's now almost 5.

She has been very sensitive to loud or sudden noises, to the point of being terrified to enter public toilets due to the hand dryers. She is terrified of anyone using a Hoover at their houses but has now got used to ours. She used to cover her ears a lot when she started pre-school at 3 and was nervous and didnt play and interact with the children properly. She poss became selectively mute around this time and preferred to be with a grown up at pre-school. They instigated friendships and buddied her up with one or two children and the spent one on one time to encourage interaction. She said a few words from time to time but when her friend suddenly left pre-school, she became more anxious and clingy and stopped talking. When I collected her she would become lively and pull my hair, lick me, lick the window, sniff her feet and generally act up.

Now at school she is coping well but has had a lot of prep and support to settle in. She is improving with interaction but not talking. She seems to be struggling with handwriting. When I collect her and her friends say Hi, she will not look at them or speak back. She hears them and kind of stifles/holds in a little smile.

On the walk into school I can tell if she's spotted someone she recognises in the distance as she will pull the same face, or look down or away, today she started opening and closing her mouth. She has in the past licked my wrist or hand in response to spotting someone too.

She sometimes removes layers of clothes when anxious, excited or in a busy environment. She will remove hair bands too and run her hands through her hair. She has removed layers of clothing if someone touches her/upon physical contact. I'm thinking perhaps more if it catches her off guard. She looks awkward and slightly bends over or away, looking away or down. It looks uncomfortable, even with family members. However, she is fine with myself (mum) and her dad.

She likes to spot the security light being on behind our house each day and it delights her. She has even given it a random, made up name!

She can get over excited with play dates and get worked up or can completed get over hyperactive or clingy with me and not really play with the child.

She can be over sensitive if she is knocked gently by accident. It bothers her and can upset her or she'll get stroppy.

She can be aggressive towards us (parents) and this started out of the blue with me at 18 months.

She sometimes raises her eyebrows repeatedly, like a tic I suppose, when interacting or poss a little anxious or excited eg, swimming lesson (1-1) or trampoline, being left with grandparents.

She unfortunately seems obsessed with her genitals at the moment. She has stripped off suddenly in a social family situation and touched and sniffed over and over again, like it was a genuine urge. The other day she had a tantrum and trashed her room which she has never done before. She the removed all her clothes, including those she usually struggles with on her own (that's how much she wanted them off) and started touching herself down below. I could see in her face how that appeared to calm her. Sorry if too much info, haha!!

There are probably other things. She is a fussy eater.

She was recently assessed at home for motor skills and during that, started really licking the towel rail or myself!

She seems to want friends but struggles with interaction. She does play and giggle.

She has always preferred her socks off at home and I occasionally have noticed tip toe walking.

She spoke at 9 months and has good vocabulary. She used to get a lot of attention out and about in her pushchair but even from an early age, she would turn away and dislike it. She then as she got a bit older would kick out from her pushchair if a stranger was close to her, say in a shop.

There was a running joke in my family which used to upset me, about how serious she always looked. At a family wedding it was picked up on, she hardly smiled in social situations and did have a serious look.

There are probably more things.

An example yesterday, we arrived home from school and the moment she spotted a neighbour across the road in his garage, who she quite likes as she plays with their son, she tried to close the car door on me!

She obsesses over our smoke alarm at home and is so nervous around it. She used to be scared of the flashing lights on our internet router and lights shining through door of passing cars but is much better with those now.

She seemed really bright around age 2-4 but seems to be struggling a bit academically, more reading and writing than numeracy. She is anxious and reluctant to write at school.

Anyway, sorry for super long post. Wonder if anyone can help. Obv there may be a few sensory issues perhaps? Thanks. X

Hi Seabreeze,

Also, where did you find out that it is more common for children with SM to be on the spectrum than not?

I was reading about SM on the selective mutism centre website and I can see there are some similar traits to AS.

Look up sensory overload, autism, aspergers and related conditions. Sounds similar to those things