Scared I'm being controlled

I fear I may be being controlled by the mental health rpofession.. I wish never to set foot in that psychiatric ward again.
They mess with your head... they kept saying 'there;s nothing wrong with you and we don't know why you're in here'.

then they turn round and say I have borderline personality.

But I'm scared I'm being controlled... and it will be even more so if I went back in that place... they lie... and they force you to do things... I was lucky I was voluntary... I'm scared of being sectioned.

I'm scared s**tless that I'm being controlled.

I'd rather die than be controlled.

I am really scared I'm going to be sectioned... I'm scared I'll be foreced into things against my will... then if I resit their dominence, I'll be injected and made to calm down with drugs.

this cannot happen to me.

I'm being controlled now, and it's making go insane.

Can anyone relate to this??

Charlie

Charlie,

When they say that there's 'nothing wrong with you', it is probably just a figure of speech that they are using, and they are just trying to make you feel better. I mean, why would anyone even want to control you? They are trying to help you. It is their job to do it. If they didn't help you, then they would be sacked.

Are you a permanent resident in a psychiatric hospital?; or are you an out-patient (i.e. - you live outside but attend a psychologist/psychiatrist at the hospital)?

Kevin

Hi, Kevin

I was a voluntary patient in a psych ward for a week back in june. I now see a shrink and a CPN at their clinic.

I was treated very badly in the psych ward (actually many were).. we got treated like thick animals.
They made me feel worse because they did nothing to help me and took me off my meds which I thought were beginning to have a positive effect on me... but the pdoc who i met in there, who bearly knew my name and spoke to me for less than 5 mins before concluding that I don't have bipolar (I firmly believe and have maintained for a year tthat I have cyclothymia) because I SI... well I know many poeple with BP who SI... so I don't understand what he getting at.. well I do, but that's a different matter.

My point is that they are very secretive.. all of them are.
My shirnk said to me 'i don't think you have a psychotic disorder, or schizotypal'... and yet he's writen to my GP saying the exact opisite.

When I went into the psych ward, they carry these little cases (they look like camera film cases) and they call them 'bombs'... I was told they were alarms.. but I've finally found out they are in fact pepper sprays.
That's another example of secrecy.

They don't try and help at all... I've been under psych care since the age of 13 (I'm now 19) and I've merely progressed backwards.
It's got to the stage where I have to take measures into my own hands and get my own meds... for example, now I'm on st John's Wort for my depression... it'll take time to take effect, but if it makes me feel better with my depression, then great.

But People don't like the way people like me think... we're strange, they don't understand us.... so they oppress us because we're not following social norms. I fear this.
On the surface, you may think they're helping... but you dig down into the real philosophy of it all... I feel the snti psychatry movement is very valid.

Charlie

Charlie,

I agree with you to some extents, but I seriously don't believe that doctors are consciously trying to suppress people who think like you do. You probably feel this way because society naturally tries to 'normalise' everyone. Just think about it... ...everyone pretty much walks the same way, tries to talk the same way, eats the same way, ..., and even thinks the same way. No-one wants to feel different. Therefore, people like you (who think differently) are automatically targeted by society who then try to normalise you. It's not that they consciously try to do it though - Rather, it's just an inherent human nature.

Its probably not concious, no.

But it's wrong and degrading.

turborocker5000,

Hey Dude.

I remember once I was sitting on the edge of a bed and I watched helplessly as a Pakistani woman, in a fit of psychosis, lay on her back in the center of the hallway on a psych ward and she pounded her head into the concrete floor until the nurses came to try to take her away. The nurses did the best they could, given the circumstances.

Chuckie is correct that most of these guys and gals have pretty honest and sincere desires to help people. Still, you're correct I think, that they also require a degree of control over patients.

Haldol, a really commonly prescribed drug on the wards, is just as you'd imagine a horse tranquilizer to be: It just knocks you on your rear end. So surely they know the consequences of giving these drugs and we've got to 'trust', as best we can, that they know what they're doing. This psychotic woman I spoke of at the beginning clearly needed haldol, but somehow it didn't happen in time.

So yeah, psychiatric institutions do have to maintain control, or so they believe they do. But if you think about the range of behavior that can come with psychosis, or risk of psychosis, you can understand their reluctance to make these places more egalitarian.

Good luck, Sonovlaurin

Hiya.
Yea I can understand what you're saying. The way you described that lady sounds like an experience I had once where I kind of lost control and was banging my head against a brick wall. The LAST thing I would've wanted (and thank god I didn't recieve) was to be sedated.

The place I was in, I got treated quite badly. I had lies said about me to my parents.
eg. I was in a quiet room where no-one goes (that's why I went there) and the nurses frantically said to my parents that they had been looking everywhere for me and even on the hospital grounds... yea sure.. not only is the door locked... but they never ONCE looked in the room I was in, and when the nurse saw me she said 'do yuo think this is funny?!' in a very aggressive manner.

Another nurse told my parents that I had called a shirnk a t**t.. something I've never done.
Once I SI in there too and this nurse didn't help me or anything, she just walked past me and said 'have you been a f**king idiot again?'
and left.
They also told my parents that I refused to go and talk to them... when in fact I made numerous efforts to do just that with no avail because they were too busy bitching in their coffee fumed office.

But anyway.. slightly off topic to my original post I guess. The whole system makes me upset. There's no care involved at all. I maintain it's about hypocracy.

Charlie

i can somewhat relate. when i was in the eating disorder facility, i had to have a come to jesus with my psychiatrist. the first time she met me, she reviewed my records and we talked for all of 10 mins. she diagnosed me bpd type 2. my parents and i were livid. i have no problem being diagnosed anything, but i was clearly not bpd type 2. i had an eating disorder \and i was diagnosed with anxiety disorder when i was like 12 and was already on zoloft for it. hello?! those 2 combined would make anyone somewhat resemble the symptoms of bpd type 2. she wouldn't take anything i had to say seriously, it was always my 'disease' talking. finally one day i had had enough. i slammed my fist down on the table and said 'you know what? f**k you lady! just because i have a few problems does not mean you can't see me as a human being! just like you, when i touch a hot stove i get burned, i put my pants on one leg at a time, i feel emotion, and i know when i'm being patronized.' she didn't say a word for a while and then dismissed me. i ended up losing a few privileges for a week because i was 'disrespectful and aggressive', but it was worth it. my mom made me continue seeing her for like a year after i left the facility and she ended up taking back her diagnosis. this was after i had been put on an assortment of meds... lithium, trileptol, seroquil not to mention the zoloft i was already on... it was horrible. i was flabbergasted that a so called doctor would attempt to make such a sudden diagnosis and then combine so many meds without thinking about how they'd interact with one another.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBUoCyqhbXI

>>>When I went into the psych ward, they carry these little cases (they look like camera film cases) and they call them 'bombs'... I was told they were alarms.. but I've finally found out they are in fact pepper sprays.
That's another example of secrecy.


You seem to be obsessed with the idea that secrecy=bad. That secrecy is intended to harm you.

This is because you have a negative attitude to people. Ask yourself why that is.