Odd Speech

Part of taking on certain roles and responsibilities in life is accepting that sooner or later, people will hear something in the way I talk. There's an oddness in how I phrase things, or maybe in my facial (in)expression. The thing that bothers me and makes it hard to relax is wondering how people really feel about it. There's so much adoration when remote subjects like celebrities and fictional characters have an oddness, or when it comes out in literature/poetry, but I struggle to understand how they feel about it when it's in front of them.

I have odd speech too.

Thing is, that when I am phrasing the sentences in a way that is odd, I feel like there are many thoughts inside my head all at once, and I cannot form a coherent sentence because I keep losing my train of thought.

Sometimes it does not happen. The way I phrase sentences is completely normal. It seems this problem occurs mostly when I haven't slept properly, or when I am under a lot of stress, or both.

When I used to get hangovers my speech used to change.

I could hear myself doing it but it just felt so good so I'd just go with it.

People used to say: Manners73, why are you talking posh?

I used to say: Because I'm really ######6 hungover.

I get the urge to speak languages I don't know. I'm not exactly sure if I want to speak gibberish or actual languages. I keep it inside my head. It feels like a physical thing in my throat and mouth. I'll move my mouth around trying to get rid of the sensation until finally I let my mind devolve into nonsense garble. I started to relearn a language this year to see if it would help. Seemed to be happening more frequently.

poxalis wrote:I get the urge to speak languages I don't know. I'm not exactly sure if I want to speak gibberish or actual languages. I keep it inside my head. It feels like a physical thing in my throat and mouth. I'll move my mouth around trying to get rid of the sensation until finally I let my mind devolve into nonsense garble. I started to relearn a language this year to see if it would help. Seemed to be happening more frequently.

You should join one of the happy-clappy religions; they'd think you were speaking in tongues. You'd be a hero.

poxalis wrote:I get the urge to speak languages I don't know. I'm not exactly sure if I want to speak gibberish or actual languages. I keep it inside my head. It feels like a physical thing in my throat and mouth. I'll move my mouth around trying to get rid of the sensation until finally I let my mind devolve into nonsense garble. I started to relearn a language this year to see if it would help. Seemed to be happening more frequently.

I do something like that first thing in the morning when I wake up. It just comes out like some kind of forgotten ancient language. It comes from my throat.

I couldn't do it if I tried to though.

I wrote an elaborate joke about some perfume and was told I should be a writer, again.
I did used to write a lot, but things became more and more difficult. When I was a child, I struggled with writing dialogue because I knew, explicitly, that I wasn't very good at socializing and my only frames of reference were other pieces of fiction. When I became a preteen, I couldn't get inside the heads of characters and their personalities, because other people had become alien and incomprehensible to me. Plots and world-building were the last things to die, in my late teens.

poxalis wrote:I get the urge to speak languages I don't know. I'm not exactly sure if I want to speak gibberish or actual languages. I keep it inside my head. It feels like a physical thing in my throat and mouth. I'll move my mouth around trying to get rid of the sensation until finally I let my mind devolve into nonsense garble. I started to relearn a language this year to see if it would help. Seemed to be happening more frequently.

I get this too when I'm trying to mute an intrusive thought or a bad memory.

wheresmyphone wrote:I wrote an elaborate joke about some perfume and was told I should be a writer, again.
I did used to write a lot, but things became more and more difficult. When I was a child, I struggled with writing dialogue because I knew, explicitly, that I wasn't very good at socializing and my only frames of reference were other pieces of fiction. When I became a preteen, I couldn't get inside the heads of characters and their personalities, because other people had become alien and incomprehensible to me. Plots and world-building were the last things to die, in my late teens.

I read back through some of your older posts.

To me, it seems like acute anxiety causing this. Back in June you were happy that your writing was improving, later this year you were complaining about your living conditions and now you are having trouble writing.

It seems you think people think you're weird; can't comment on that, but it would be self-perpetuating. If you think you're seen as weird, you'll behave more weird.

If you have a condition that appears out of the ordinary to others, embrace it. It's not going away and the more you focus on it the more awkward you'll become.

Confidence trumps everything. If you can accept you're perceived weirdness and see it as a part of your personality and not some odd bolt-on that you don't want, then who has the right to say you're less or more than anyone else?

I'd start with anti-anxiety stuff. Find something to help deal with the anxiety and see how it goes.

I like drawing. It would be easier if I wasn't being made to shelter a narcissistic waste of space against my will.

I am someone who worships my own voice a lot. I was formerly a hypnotist and typically people who go into hypnosis typically have a great voice or fetishize great voices. I have a very rhythmic voice naturally and for my word selection in every day speech I sometimes find myself saying things that sound a little too elegant. I am a very deliberate speaker though and I think it just came with practice and time. I love words a lot and writing so in a way it has formed my speech.

Before all this practice and refinement though, I would often stutter on words or repeat certain phrases or vocabulary too much. I would keep your weird way of speech. I have had snide remarks about my word choices before but I welcome them now and even feel funny towards my own self. I also find how one speaks and practices their speaking makes an impact at times on how well we communicate whats in our minds.