*The Magical Thinking Thread*

I don't think I have this disorder but I saw this thread and I've had moments in which I believed things that I now think are frankly crazy things.

There was this one period of my life which I feel lasted a whiiile and believe was stimulated by the fact that I heard and still hear voices (although now only inside my head and not outside of it) where I was certain there was a portal inside me that allowed people and creatures from a realm of magic to pass into this one.

I've also believed at one point that I was a spy and that graffiti on the wall contained hidden messages for me.

And I believed I was being hunted by demonic shadow creatures so they could take me to Hell.

That's the instances I can remember at least. Currently I don't know how I could have ever thought any of this was real.

~ Grey

Well I don't figure myself to be Schizotypal, but my OCD sure does push me into magical thinking, especially in regards to work. I have to drive a certain route; I have to listen only to certain things; I have to say my morning prayers in a certain order; I can only drive this vehicle or that to work under certain circumstances. To deviate from the 'rules' is to flirt with disaster. I've been that way for many many moons. I can detach enough from it to say it's illogical; but I can't divorce myself from it, either. I both admit it's not rational, and desperately cling to it in full belief that The Fates will bite my ass if I don't stick to what they've beat into me through trial-and-error. Trial and error meaning if I do something that's not on the 'good things' list and I have a terrible day at work, that gets put on the 'Do Not Do That' list, and I take that list as Gospel. In the part about I can only listen to certain things on my morning commute, well, I can't enjoy myself too much, and I can't listen to the music I use to escape from a terrible day, after said day is over on my commute home. I can do anything I want on the way home, but woe betide me if I do any of those destressor things on the way to work, the Work Gods will whup my ass in retaliation.

I also have to use my own pen at work. To use one of the pens that stays in my work area is bad juju.

I know on an intellectual level that this ought to be all bullcrap, but I can't behave like that, and on a gut, emotional level I'm thoroughly convinced of it, even though if someone else were to post this I'd be like, 'no way, dude, this is magical thinking'. But it's always different when it's your magical thinking, that's for real true....