Simple-Type Schizophrenia

I was diagnosed yesterday by a psychiatrist. Previously, I was diagnosed as having Major Depression by a psychologist. While previously, I was taking antidepressants, now I am taking antipsychotics for Simple-Type Schizophrenia. I'm not sure what is supposed to happen at this point, I suppose.

Most people think that I am depressed when they look at me because my face is usually blank and I'm usually quiet. I have to then inform them that I am not feeling sad, but I am feeling nothing at all. When people ask me how I feel or what I think about how something looks (like replying to "what a beautiful day it is outside), I have to actively think about what I may be feeling and 99% of the time, it's nothing. Neutral. There's no great sadness or depression that I'm trying to mask. I rarely get angry, sad, happy or anywhere on that scale and I've no feeling about the void that's currently here. I suppose that's another problem that I face:

When you tell people that you're not feeling anything or that it feels like there is a void, people automatically take that as depression or sadness and that is completely inaccurate. On a scale of -10 to +10, I'm nowhere on either side. I am zero; neither positive or negative and that is how it has always been.

If there was something that I find difficult, it's other people's emotions. I find it exhausting to be around it for any period of time and have taken to being in my room where the constant barrage of other people's emotions can be controlled or eliminated entirely. It's calm while the outside world is complete madness and irrational (in my view). I can and do notice other people's emotions and know how to respond to them and sometimes that I do, but it is with a blank expression or, if it's not, an awkward attempt at conveying the appropriate emotional response. It's always awkward though because i am just emulating rather than actual feeling.

In short, it seems like I have no emotions to invest in other things or people and find it difficult to deal with their emotional attitudes because I have nothing to relate to them with. When this is noticed by other people, their usual response is to project what emotions I should feel onto me which would be a completely incorrect assumption. I simply don't care and if there is any emotion that I feel, it's a mixture of curiosity, anxiety, and confusion as the wheels constantly turn trying to make sense of the madness that I am listening to.

At first, I thought that I may be schizoid because all the signs seem to fit. The psychiatrist believes it is Simple-Type Schizophrenia, which seems to share many of the same traits as Schizoid Personality Disorder. My psychologist believes that it is still Major Depression, having written off my Nihilistic philosophies as being the byproduct of that rather than the product of logically investigating life.

What should I do? What will the anti-psychotics do when it comes to changing the way that I think or do? How could one really differentiate whether it's a personality issue or a chemical imbalance without first trying to see if the medication works?

Also, ask me anything if you want.

I have no advice to offer but I can tell you that at times, I experience the same thing. I know what you're talking about with the neutral feelings and trying to respond appropriatley to what's going on around you. I'm constantly monitoring my reactions and my facial experssion to make sure I'm being "normal". Hang in there hun. I don't know how to help, but if you figure it out, let me know please lol.

Check this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization_disorder if anything fits in your case.

w4rp3dh4l0 wrote:I have no advice to offer but I can tell you that at times, I experience the same thing...

I'll be sure to tell you what's up when I've figured it out.

Wonderer7 wrote:Check this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization_disorder if anything fits in your case.

Looked at the symptoms and none of them seem to fit me. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems like people who have DD don't quite feel like themselves. I feel like myself. I am clearly experiencing everything I go through, but I've no emotion about it.

Wow. I resonate with your portrayal of symptoms 100%, it is just uncanny. You said, "When people ask me how I feel or what I think about how something looks (like replying to "what a beautiful day it is outside), I have to actively think about what I may be feeling and 99% of the time, it's nothing. Neutral." I have a question about this: Do you see your responses in such interactions as some sort of attempt to observe the social norms where a natural inclination is not present? Asociality masked by projected socialization?

I think it would make sense that your psychologist thinks major depression. After all, anhedonia and blunted affect are sometimes depressive symptoms. To my knowledge, the difference between depressive symptoms and schizotypal symptoms is that schizotypes have broad-scale cognitive differences that tend to be traceable throughout the person's history. Tendencies toward social withdraw, bizarre/unconventional ideations, delusional thinking (does not have to be as pronounced as thinking you're God), social anxiety, secretiveness, eccentricity, unusual manners of speaking (often vague), lack of interest in becoming socialized...these are things a few of which might very loosely coincide with depression, but never in such a constellation, and never long preceding a depression.

If those characteristics sound very familiar, there's a good chance you're a schizotype, which is someone whose neurodevelopment falls somewhere between a normal person and a schizophrenic. Judging by the lucidness of your writing, I would find it difficult to believe that you are a full-blown schizophrenic. Although I suppose that your few forum posts are of course infinitesimally small pieces of the puzzle.

What anti-psychotic does your psychiatrist want to put you on?

Oh yeah I know exactly wat U mean talking about emotions. I'm around people who are easily excitable and always trying to fill me up like a need it when I don't. I find it so annoying and it's only after x shots to the head that you take that they finally figure it out... that being witout emotions is normal for me... which like u say doesn't mean u are sad and need a greater life form to try fix u. EXCEPT when I drink... my dopamine FLOWS... like now. . I've just started me bourbons. yah!

HI everybody,I am experiencing the same problem.Blunt affect,feeling empty inside and memory and concentration problems,less energy,which,for me are most annoying.I am still studiyng for my Master degree and that is kinda hard for me.I do not feel pleasure although I have to admit sometime i cry,because of not being able to be socially active.I am also concerned about my future job.How will I be able to put on a smile when needed,how will I be able to concentrate,because lives goes by in fast line,it's not waiting for me.My psychiatrist diagnosted me with simple sz,I am on serdolect right now,hope this will help,because other meds didn't.