Do YOU have a full time job?

***Sooo, if you ARE working -- how do you do it?? Are you able to function at work normally? How long have you been doing it since your first episode? Do your meds hold you back? Do you find yourself sedated / lethargic at work? Do you have any symptoms / delusions / etc at work or can you control them? How long have you been at your job? Are you happy / content with the way things are going? Does your employer know / have any idea about your condition?

I find myself unable to work for the past twelve months and find it pretty depressing... And I believe that now, in the position I'm in, the side effects of my meds are what are ultimately holding me back from working full time again (side fx; lethargy, sedation, lack of motivation)

Before meds I was fine energy-wise, but I've been on meds consistently for 8 months now and I find myself wayy too sedated (sleep anywhere 12-16 hours a day), lethargic,and lacking in motivattion to do any work. I don't know what I'm going to do?? I've been on Zyprexa and Risperdal both meds had the same side effects effects and I'm currently / slowly switching to Abilify, which I pray will help and cause much less side effects.

When I was off meds, I would have a psychotic episode when put under too much stress and start to be become so delusional that I couldn't concentrate or function at work, usually leading to me being fired or quitting. I haven't done any type of work in seven months.

So it looks like with meds, I'm too sedated and lethargic too work, and without meds, i'm too unstable and delusional to work when put under too much stress. I feel like I'm at a dead end here. I've already applied for social security last July, got denied, and am currently in the appeal process. But the process for social security takes too long, and I won't know if it would even provide enough money, and it's not guaranteed I'd get approved, and I'd much rather work and earn my living!

Replies / insights / feedback / experiences greatly appreciated and needed here. Thanks so much!!! I have much respect for you

I'm in the same boat... or was, I guess. Here's what happened:

I used to work at a major videogame studio. I was already being medicated (Risperdal). It was so tough waking up every morning and going to work because of the sleepiness. I would make it to around noon before I felt exhausted and wanted to lay down.

When crunch-time came around it was worse. I was putting in 16 hour days just to make the dead-line and weekends too. It was unbearable.

This eventually landed me back in the hospital. I began to get very paranoid and muddled thinking where I would do strange things just to get by. I couldn't even work at my desk without looking at my little cross I kept on my desk. I would work about 2 minutes and then have to look at my cross and then switch back to work, constantly. I had the fear of people's proximity and I feared their psychic thoughts. I was a mess. So I landed in the hospital.

I eventually had to quit. I went on social security for a few years after that. Then I started making videogames from home and selling them on the internet. Eventually I started making enough money to quit SSI.

These days I work from home which is a blessing and I make more than enough to get by and put some away.

So that's what I did. I found a way to make money from home. The inverse is that I have no social life and I'm terribly lonely. But at least I don't have the stress and the insanity of working a 9-5.

Well... that's my story. Hope it helps.

Cya.

I havent worked since like 2010 for about 3 months. I never liked working. I was always a day dreamer, and I started writing about 5 years ago. Im interested in science and philosophy. I'm not super fast at thinking in mathematics, but I was trying to find a way to become good at that. Then my knowledge would be much more complete. I was able to stay in school all year on risperdal. Then after what you mentioned around 8 months it started to slow me down significantly. I don't take the medicine anymore, but I was taking a corner of latuda for a couple of weeks. Latuda at low doses compared to risperdal at low doses seems block more voices. Although it pushed me to talk to myself at night for a while. Latuda at high doses seems to feel like "almost placebo" with some nicotine. But the voices seem to be tinged with more emotional affectivity. They also seem to get louder for me on latuda, and lower off medication. The drowsiness lasts for 2-3 weeks. Someone else on here tried latuda, I think manic_rabbit, and it did not help that much with her schizophrenia.

If you want to try to get off your medication, its basically hell where I was thinking that I was going to relapse almost every minute of my life, or one time I took some benadryl and I was stuck in some purpulish-tvish movie untill I took a walk with my mom. Basically constant loud voices, so I went back on. Then I took more vitamins, and half dosed it. I would be driving, and I would get semi-infrequent voices. Then I got off again. Then I took about a corner, and over 2 months or so I weened off it.

Im not sure if its possible for you to get off. I had to do it by myself after my psych lowered me from 2mg to 1mg. And my schizophrenia went up, but I noticed that it didnt go over the top up. So maybe if you want to half dose it and see how you do for a couple days.

It has to do with the speed of the brain. But you need to be in a perfect, non-depressed, confidence, determined condition while thinking that you can always try again later. For me it just worked kind of magically, I really thought I wasent going to make it out. For some its much easier, like miamiu got off after 2 months with a light constant voice and he was fine for several months.

Other than that, Latuda is great I took 40mg like about 3 weeks ago to see what would happen and it feels pretty good. If abilify doesnt work for you, I would say theres more initial sedation with Latuda but less than abilify over time.

Oh yeah so, I was able to maintain high grades on risperdal. And it actually helped me in many ways because now I have a bunch of negative symptoms. The risperdal helped me stay linear, and determined. Now I feel floaty, empty-headed, and lazy. I would come home and do my homework everyday. Now Im recovering from the most severe depression of my life. But I have been able to sing for 2-4 hours a day. Well being off the medication isnt great still because it left me empty-headed basically. Like im not fully fully conscious, and the 7 receptor antagonism of risperdal basically messed with my brain cycles. As I have been emotionally up and down, sometimes too sensitive, sometimes not sensitive enough. Fluctuating amounts of energy. Probably too much adrenaline. brief delusional periods.

At school, I don't think it was the sedation that got me, but my thoughts. I would have to drag myself, I would pick night or noon classes. Sometimes I would get some anomalies, but nothing too serious unless I was trying to get off it. My essays were pretty cool, my teachers liked me, I talked the most in every class.

I know what you mean about the risperdal, It seems like the body could compensate over time but 8 months is the epitome. what helped was caffeine pills, cigerettes, b vitamins, etc.

Im not planning on getting a job unless I get a girlfriend. But I should probably do it beforehand. Probably over the summer. I was working on theoretical writing which was starting to show some promise, but then I quit. Now I might write more. Well I'm moving to a different city, so I'll probably need one then since its my sisters place.

good replies so far...

Visualizations I take caffeine pills to. I lay my head down after taking my medicine and suddenly it's 15 hours later and I"m EXHAUSTED. I take 2-3 caffeine pills to start my day I can't believe someone else found my secret too.

On topic though I used to work full time as a manager at starbucks. Like you all said the stress of the job and working close with people landed me in the hospital and lost my job. I was forced to move back in with my parents. My parents gave me a good 6 month warning that they are kicking me out. So I applied for disability and got it. I now live with a good friend because frankly I don't think I can live on my own anymore. When I get hallucinations it scares the hell out of me and it's nice on the anxiety to have someone there to say "do u see that?" I know I can always do what crazy moth did and work from home. I'm really good at building gaming computers from scratch and I'd like to do that for a living. But until then my disability takes away the stress of everyday life worrying about paying bills. All I need is the air I breath and a place to rest my head. As long as this is met i'm ok.

I wish you the best of luck on your appeal

thanks isaiah

so how long did it take you guys to get on disability benefits? 6 months? 2 years? Did you have to go to a court hearing?

6 months 2 weeks for me to get on disability

I think my longest job has been for 8 months and im 34 years old, Only now am i going for help because i wasnt ready to admit i had a problem.

I put in for Disability living allowence 3 months ago and they are still trying to get all the information they need for my claim. Im not sure where you are in the world, Im in the U.K and they are good at sending letters saying "we havent forgotten about you, you will get a full backdate"

I think the bigger question would be, After treatment will life be "normal" what ever that means. I guess no matter how much we let out conditions effect us we all have the "perfect" dream of the 2.4 children, the house, the car and the job we love. will it happen? I honestly dont know, I would like to think so, however i already know that even trying for voluntary work explaining i have a mental condition attracts a certain stigma and yeh ok i get an interview but i feel its more like "hey lets talk and see what the nutter looks like"

should you tell an employer? yes i think you should, cause then they know about what could happen in the future, should the employers be as ignorant as most of them seem to be? no. but until governments sort things out so we can live a "Normal" life then we are unfortunatly stuck in a catch 22

Hopefully your disability money shouldnt take to long to get sorted out and hope my 2 pence worth doesnt offend anyone

my first job was a paper run then i went to raspberry picking where i would often get a free iceblock for picking the most ive done kiwifruit pruning, boysenberry tying up pruning roses picking apples worked as a stormen worked on the roadworks worked in 4 different freezing works doing all different jobs on beef lamb and venison but mainly a beef boner bagged ready fill concrete worked at a pet kennels worked in the forestry. lol i've worked a LOT but since I got beaten up by the police i get severly fatiqued and with the meds im on it makes it even worse but at the mo i continue to work at the horse racing during winter racemeetings(not many) and have done so for 24 years. im not looking for any work but if you want a job it pays to be keen and confident when you go for an interview...

I'm just waiting for the bottlestore to open.