I need help identifying a possible psychological issue

My name is micheal. Im a 23 year old male. I have been diagnosed with anxiety, "gad" panic disorders, adhd and depression. I take paxil,buspar and strattera. I have a good standing with my doctor. I have been seing him since I was seven. My whole life i have struggled with the above diagnosis. Lately i seem to have a new problem. Something in my head is not right.. I'm a verry carying person. I feel the pain of others who are hurt and want to try and help everyone. Lately I have been having thoughts that I never have before. Such as hurting people. Not any one specific. Just people along the lines of helpless. When I say thoughts I mean i have almost visions in the back of my head that will show me hurting people. For a example a child. I know I would never do it because I love kids but it doesent explain why i see it in the back of my head. I have become extremly paranoid. I think people are talking about me and im paranoid about everything. I was watching nightmare on elm street the other day and I was afraid to go downstairs because I thought some kind of monster would be there to get me. I know that it was just a movie and that its not real yet it scared me. I just have weird feelings like people are watching me and or some thing is going to hurt me thats not "human" sometimes. I know its not possible but im still worried about it. This is not constant either. Sometimes I will go months without having a episode. Then one day I will just freak out over nothing. Earlier today my roomate was taping a empty bottle of water on her leg and it made me so angry I wanted to scream. I still dont know what made me angry about it. If im left alone at my house at night time I think ghosts or something evil is going to hurt me. I feel like there watching me. I dont hallucinate exactly, but sometimes i will see shadows out of the corner of my eyes or dark figures but they go away instantly. I havent talked to my doctor yet because I'm not sure what will happen. I dont think about hurting my self or wanting to hurt other people so I dont concider my self a threat. However I dont know if he will want me commited for telling him these kind of things. Like i said above I don't think of a plan to hurt other peoples its almost like a 3rd person vision of watching my self hurt other people. I wont do it because thats not who I am but it still doesen't explain these visions. does this make any sense? Im not sure whats wrong with me. Does any 1 have any ideas on whats wrong with me?

I think its perfectly normal to have a violent daydream once in awhile. I daydreamed about killing my Dad for example. I'm not going to do it though. I have some really dark daydreams as well... I asked my doctor about it once. He said that this is normal for humans. I asked my Buddhist teacher, he said the same thing. What is NOT normal, is constantly fantasizing about these dreams. Taking actions toward fulfilling these dreams... This is not normal. Not good in any case.

You're at that age where your brain starts to dream... To look at the bigger picture. You're making some tough decisions about who you want to be. You're still figuring out how the world and reality function. So maybe you have some fears. This is normal too I think.

I wouldn't worry too much at this point. I think you're ok. If you come to the point where these daydreams start taking over and you can't control your paranoia... I would definitely tell your doctor.

Hope that helps.

Yeah man humans are messed up, yet when you go up and talk to someone you don't tell them that you want to eat their butthole out. The visions thing must be connected to an imbalance of like several brain systems, in the first place that they are visions it might mean that your 5ht7 agonism is too high. For the paranoia, alot of people are paranoid sometimes. Some kids dont watch horror movies at all. I used to be paranoid sometimes my whole life, and it definetly is a precursor to schizophrenia. For example, if you are "12" walking down the city of new york, and you feel grandiose like you are going to be "found". This didn't happen to me, but to someone I know. Then when you walk in the shower, you feel like there is a monster on the other side of the curtain when you close your eyes. Then when you go to sleep you think theres something in your room when you turn off the light. The good part is that like alot of people like indigenous, or christians are actually pretty paranoid people. Some of them even think that people are actually possesed by demons, imagine walking down the street and you judge this person has a demon in them. But usually the difference is a lack of continuity with the personality and directionality of the person, and physio-mechanical changes of the brain. Like usually people that were not religious at all before schizophrenia, some of them become very religious in their own ways. Anyways if this is bothering you too much you can take a very low dose atypical antipsychotic, like half of the lowest dose or less, that has 5ht7 antagonism. Also stay away from caffeine products, or other things that UP your dopamine too much its fine for a while, but then your dopamine neurons dysregulate at night after the crash. Your medications can actually be exaberating some of this. Also, you can try to meditate the thoughts away, think pure thoughts and see yourself as a good person.


My antipsychotic used to be risperdal, now is Latuda. I had paranoia some nights on risperdal, but then I would take the risperdal and it would all go away, i would be calm and fall asleep. The Latuda is even better because I havent had any paranoia while on it. Basically for this since you dont have chronic voices, or visual hallucinations. But you do show two symptoms, paranoia and social delusions, you can take a very low dose and it will only mostly sedate you at night. But at low doses its actually pleasant like a blanket over your brain. At full doses it feels like an anchor on your brain. Then get some chamomile tea, and have less worry.