helping a schizophrenic that doesn't want to be helped

If she doesn't want help, leave her alone. Respect her space, whatever the consequences.

Mental illness is a metaphor. Illness is defined as an objectively demonstrable biological pathology that affects living creatures. Since mental illness describes undesirable behaviors, thoughts or feelings, there is no objective pathology to observe. The classification of certain behaviors as illnesses is a way of controlling undesirable people in society. By medicalising behavior we give the state and its psychiatric agents the power to involuntarily detain and drug individuals whose actions others find intolerable.

Leave her alone.

Anonymous wrote:Mental illness is a metaphor. Illness is defined as an objectively demonstrable biological pathology that affects living creatures. Since mental illness describes undesirable behaviors, thoughts or feelings, there is no objective pathology to observe. The classification of certain behaviors as illnesses is a way of controlling undesirable people in society. By medicalising behavior we give the state and its psychiatric agents the power to involuntarily detain and drug individuals whose actions others find intolerable.

Leave her alone.

IN YOUR OPINION

The sad thing is, 50% of the homeless has mental illness, and in most cases to my belief are schizophrenia.
In one sense, i would say, leave her alone, in another cases, if she is at a state of mind where she can't make choices where it does harm to herself and or others, them i believe intervention should take place. But, intervention to help her get better, not lock her up. If she is not of the rest state of mind where she is hurting herself, a few weeks in the mental Hops. and given the right meds to help her back into reality state of mind, could be good.
But, if you are looking to make her like you or the next person, you wll never reach that goal.
What is the answer? Only God knows for sure, but i can say with and do to my illnesses, (and family should be there for this) is for her to have a home or place to stay and let her be. Not people trying to change her in getting a job, doing this or doing that. Just a place where she can feel safe, be safe and be herself.
the mental ill doesn't want to be controled, but to be accepted (we are people (souls, Gods childern) living in a body, our bodies are broken. We are not schizophrenic, we have schizophrenia.
Also, stress, pressure, forceful approches triggers are paranoida to run from you, rather then imbracing you.
So, necxt time you see her, bring her a gift, smile, be happy (funny, but for me, my happiness comes from seeing others happy, maybe do to me or things not making me happy). If you can, offer her a place to stay, not with pressures as to say, rent, to do this, to do that and ect, just simple, here is a room you can stay. And then let her live as she wants in that place.
As you spook of the family, i would advice infroming the family to what to do or i should say, how to treat a person with these illnesses, rather then you should do this, do that and ect.
One thing if i can get accross to people that are not sick, pressure is the differance between being tutured or haveing peace of mind.
Example, what pressure does she have on the streets compared to home (if she has a home or place to stay)? No stress, do bills, house payments, working, kids, and ect. As in my case, sometime making a simple dinner can be turture do to pressure from doing a simple task. Taking a shower can be a all day thing in getting up to do, and so on.
Hence, if she had a place, a simple bedroom she can feel safe at, and with no worries, then she can find peace and be happy/happier.
People that suffer from schizophrenia doesn't want to live on the streets, or do things they do, they are trying to relieve the pain and pressure that it turture on us. So if its less turture to live on the strrets then it is to leave where they was, then they will as i will, choose to not suffer or make the choice that is less suffering. And in the hosp, that is turture!
So my advice, love her, if you offer her a place to stay (not where she has to pay bills (on her own) and ect. Example, i'm 35 and living with mom and dad, i can't live on my own, pay my bills, tho i have bills. The bills that i have, i just give my mom the money, she pays them. A simple writing of a check for me is to painful and it hurts my head. (too much pressure)
God Bless, John

Hello, I am new here.

My wife has been in and out of the hospital several times. Each time I have had to call Crisis Intervention to get her admitted. She had been doing real well for 10 years, taking her Risperdal in compliance with her doctor's request.

Then about 2 years ago, she suddenly felt she didn't need her meds any more and stopped taking them. That's when all the symptoms of schizophrenia started up again. She now thinks that she was adopted and is actually the daughter of Jimmy Hoffa, the deceased Maffia head. She has avoided her family like the plague ever since, not going to any family events and having violent arguments with her mother when her mother tries to talk sense to her.

She didn't attend either of my sons graduations. Last year when my younger son graduated from high school, she went on this bizarre trip where I had to call the police to locate her. This was after she first called saying that she locked herself out of her car, outside a McDonalds one hour away from our house.

My wife has been treating me like dirt the past two years also, saying that she never did love me and that I forced my way into the marriage. Now she has, out of the blue, made accusations that I have been physically abusing her, which is the furthest thing from the truth.

I know that I will have to call Crisis Intervention again as she will not listen to anything I say. Every time I bring up the subject that she is not herself and should go back on her medicine, she explodes and uses reverse psychology, saying that I am the one who needs help.

I have even seen a professional in the field to help me cope with the surreal situation in my home and to help me come up with a plan to get her to at least come with me to an appointment to see him. She has said time after time that she is fine that it is me who is not right.

Here are some of the symptoms my wife when she had her little relapse.

1. Delusion about being adopted

2. Had another delusion that she was Jimmy Hoffa's daughter

3. Laughing to herself a lot. Says she is just thinking of things, but during last relapse, she had confessed to hearing voices. My sons have seen and heard her laughing to herself all the time.

3. Thought all the doctors at the clinic she went to were Communists

4. Has not been taking her medicine. Hid her medicine and once when I gave it to her, she broke it in 3 places and hid it down the couch.

5. Believed that people were coming in the house and robbing things. Accused her niece of coming in and taking things.

6. Goes around unplugging all the electrical appliances around the house.

7. Puts chairs up against the doors at night to keep people out.

8. Got an email from my son on 6/9/05 about how his mother wanted to go on a long trip to California and how she was beaten up by her mother.

9. She told my older son that when he was 4 years old, he went to see his “real father” in California. This is completely off the way as he never was away from us and it is ludicrous that anyone else is his father.

10. She has become quite mean since she stopped taking her meds. She doesn’t talk to her family, claiming that they are not her relatives, won’t speak to friends or neighbors. Now she has, out of the blue, made accusations that I have been physically abusing her, which is the furthest thing from the truth.

11. She didn't attend either of my sons graduations. Last year when my younger son graduated from high school, she went on this bizarre trip where I had to call the police to locate her. This was after she first called saying that she locked herself out of her car, outside a McDonalds one hour away from our house.

Quandry05,

What a terrible relationship! It sounds like you don't see your wife at all. All you see is all her behavior as the pathology of her "illness."

Your symptom list sounds more like a relationship in crisis with a control freak (you) manipulating the facts.

I hope your wife finds the assistance she needs out their, it obviously isn't going to come from you. I can read the contempt and hate you have for her within your post.

I hope for her sake she gets away from you, and is supported and recovers.

PS Schizophrenia is not a disease.

The Devil wrote:Quandry05,

What a terrible relationship! It sounds like you don't see your wife at all. All you see is all her behavior as the pathology of her "illness."

Your symptom list sounds more like a relationship in crisis with a control freak (you) manipulating the facts.

I hope your wife finds the assistance she needs out their, it obviously isn't going to come from you. I can read the contempt and hate you have for her within your post.

I hope for her sake she gets away from you, and is supported and recovers.

PS Schizophrenia is not a disease.

Well, thank you for your support. It is people like you who make these matters worse. No I am not manipulating the facts. In fact, my two sons will back up everything I say and want their old mother back. I am going to call Crisis Intervention soon to get the help she needs.

As for your instant judgement of me, what can I say. You know it all, don't you?

The Devil wrote:Quandry05,

What a terrible relationship! It sounds like you don't see your wife at all. All you see is all her behavior as the pathology of her "illness."

Your symptom list sounds more like a relationship in crisis with a control freak (you) manipulating the facts.

I hope your wife finds the assistance she needs out their, it obviously isn't going to come from you. I can read the contempt and hate you have for her within your post.

I hope for her sake she gets away from you, and is supported and recovers.

PS Schizophrenia is not a disease.

i have to step in....
how annoying--when people make ignorant, rude comments like this one...i think it is ovious that Quaundry is just expressing the pain of having a wife with such a horrible illness. Obviously, he has still stuck by her side all these years. I think it's great that his wife has him for a husband ....most husbands would have left long ago. It's great that she has someone who will watch over her and call crisis intervention when needed, otherwise she would most likely be living on the streets. he realizes that his wife is ill and im sure he does not blame her for her bahaviors.. He was simply describing her symptoms and how hard it is on her and the whole family. My mom use to decribe to me (and sometimes cry over it) about how aweful it was to grow up with a schizophrenic mother and sister. It wasn't because she did not love them or care for them--it was just the opposite, because she DID love them and it was horrible for her to see what it did to them and the whole family.

I see all the pain that my schizophrenia causes my family, especially my mother. schizophrenia is not just hard on the schizophrenic themself, but on all the people who care about them too.

-Becka

shadowsinme wrote:

i have to step in....
how annoying--when people make ignorant, rude comments like this one...i think it is ovious that Quaundry is just expressing the pain of having a wife with such a horrible illness. Obviously, he has still stuck by her side all these years. I think it's great that his wife has him for a husband ....most husbands would have left long ago. It's great that she has someone who will watch over her and call crisis intervention when needed, otherwise she would most likely be living on the streets. he realizes that his wife is ill and im sure he does not blame her for her bahaviors.. He was simply describing her symptoms and how hard it is on her and the whole family. My mom use to decribe to me (and sometimes cry over it) about how aweful it was to grow up with a schizophrenic mother and sister. It wasn't because she did not love them or care for them--it was just the opposite, because she DID love them and it was horrible for her to see what it did to them and the whole family.

I see all the pain that my schizophrenia causes my family, especially my mother. schizophrenia is not just hard on the schizophrenic themself, but on all the people who care about them too.

-Becka

Thank you so much. I was going to edit my post and had already written that friends at work and family have said the same thing you did, but I didn't want to beat my old drum as this guy would have used it to rip me once again. I decided to leave my reply to him as it was.

I may have made some mistakes and probably should have called Crisis Intervention before, but the last time she was able to hide her symptoms and talk her way out of being admitted. The administrator let her go home after she signed a release slip saying that she promised to take her medicine and then call her doctor. She never did.

I love my wife and me and the boys want her back the way she used to be. Now that she is claiming that I am not even her husband and the kids are not mine, makes it even more frustrating.

I have this fear that if I call Crisis Intervention again, she will somehow talk her way out of it again. One of her methods is to use reverse psychology and blame me for things and saying I'm the one who needs help.

Thanks once again for your support. I am trying my best to be a good husband and father, but it is very tough and many people, including my sister, say I should file for divorce. But I'm sticking it out.