hi, i need some advice from the experienced

hey, my name's ali, i'm a guy and i'm 18 (just turned 18)

just recentley i've been starting to take notice that i feal i might have a very slight type of schizophrenia (if there is one)

honestly i don't know much about it i just started reading

well i'll give a brief summary in a way


as a young kid around 13 or so i was really afraid of darkness and $#%^, so there was that stress of being afraid of witnessing a ghost, or some abnormal stuff.. i was young and i had, and still have a really big imagination.

then i tried the ouja board, and got interested in wierd occult kind of things like that, and it just scared me shitless because one of my "friends" back then played a really bad trick on me, he lied and said he had ghosts in his house etc through oujia board, i dunno

at around the same time, something very "supernatural" as i thought it was happened, and my friend heared it also, but i kind of saw it.
i was lying down on his bed waiting for him to finish in the bathroom, it was at about 3:00am, i remember being sketchy about being alone etc. then as dosing of something flew across the room and smashed into the wall, and was really loud, without looking i ran out, knocked all over the bathroom door saying, mman come out i just saw, or heard and it smashed etc etc

he said im in the bathroom damnit!! or something haha

anyways it was an impossible activity because it flew, hit the wall which had a shelf kind of thing, and in any normal case like this, it would of knocked all sorts of $#%^ off of the shelf, but nothing, then this bag of chips went from along side the bed (on the floor leaning against bed) was moved and spilled in middle..

ANYWAYS, this was the most ###$ up thing for me to ever experience, (and again, my friend DID hear it, it wasn't me tweeking out, something happened, whether you believe in that stuff or not, im not sure if o do, but something happened.., maybe someone threw a ball, I don't know haha.. anyways)

this is what i believed to have triggered noises i heard, later that year maybe, or around there atleast..

anyways, that was really stressfull, then later on in my , still young life i would hear noises when i was alone (on the computer, not sure if that's relivent) and it was just ######6 scary, so i would run away etc. noises occured for a while at the start of this

i would talk to my parents and stuff, they would say oh it's nothing etc.

i was afraid to go on the computer!! every time i would heard something pretty much

then at summerschool i met this girl, and she was into witchcraft or wahtever, and i was talking to her and decided to bring that story up, both of them.

[i was always very gullable to someones word, i would believe almost anything, i'm not stupid, i just used to trust my friends to a point where i would believe anything they said, also i was interested in supernatural stuff, just not like this]

she fed my mind with #######4, saying i was chosen or whatever.. and then later that i was cursed along with my family (i would explain it better but it was so long ago)

anyways in this time of my life, i was never as scared to be alone, to sleep, and stuff, it was hardcore.


i probably heared a total of 5-6 unexplainable noises, then one day i just said "please i just want to be normal" to myself, and i talked to her and she said since i said that, the noises will go way

(she said the noises were a message, for me to go on some kind of mission, to complete something, obviously she was trying to get me to $#%^ my pants from fear)

anyways the noises indeed went away, nothing abnormal till about this year


i got into drugs, i smoked pot from gr10 atLEAST every other day (usually everyday) and at one point, i was doing shrooms every single week, i love them

anyways i thought after all those shrooms anything schizo would come out (or so i heard, i duno)

but no, nothing yet

i got into coke, i've done acid 3 times, started playing with meth

[Just for the readers sake, i am clean right now i'm not a druggie, i just like psychoactive chemicals, anyways]


one day i took an e pill and did about a halfgram of coke
and i swear the e had acid in it


long story short, the whole night i thought all my friends were in some kind of conspiracy to get me laced on acid to tell the truth about something??? and many other idea's of what this "conspiracy" is

and must i add, i was extremeley sure there was something going on

and still right now, i'm thinking maybe there was something really small, or maybe nothing, anyways

i went home eventuallly, my parents caught me ###$ off my face, i talked to my sister, told her what i've been doing, and i meen everything

coke every week(this is after the mushroom phase) , and all that $#%^


anyways, after that i told my parents and attempted cleaness- but this is getting off topic




the next day, i felt reminents, or as i usually call it a "glow" from the (of what i'm 90% sure of, was acid) trip from the night before


and i did not understand why everyone (my friends, family, convenient store [long story haha i ran in there with my drugs and thought it was a setup] were trying to figure something out, i would think, how could they all be so naive and think i am something that i'm not.

my 2 main theories to what people thought i was was a child molester, or a homosexual


anyways i pretty much lost it, but not completley, i still had a grip on reality and i knew that this could of allll been a psychosis from the drugs, infact i thought it was exadurated by the drugs, but still something in the core of everything.


then later i thought my room had camera's in it, and i thought every car i went into had microphones in it and $#%^,

this was probably the worse it got,


i thought there was always people in the area i would be in, to tell someone where i am, or to keep track of where i am

i felt dissociated from reality, i once yelled at these people and told them i knew they were following me





anyways as the days went on, i got over this conspiricizing eventually but still thought something was going on (i have great proof, or what i thought to be, to why i thought this way, but there isn't a point to explain it would take up alot of room)


probably weeks later i got completley over it


i went clean for a while.. which lasted a month and 2 weeks, i did an e tab, then the next day i smoke meth, i meen it hasn't been for such a long time right!!

haha, anwyays i got back into the conspiricy theories, i would usually keep them to myslef, or talk to a very close friend about these thoughts.



i realize that this is a huge post so i'll stop here and wait for someone to help me out;

personally i think i have a type of schiz but a slight one, my worries are that it will blow up in my face one day

thanks, and sorry for the size

i am 18

and also, i have more things that make me think i might have this disorder

but i think those are the most important



and please take note, i figured all these thoughts to be me figuring all this stuff out, and the drugs adding a sketch factor and just exadurating, as i already noted

my counceller suggests it could of been amphetamine psychosis, a paranoid type of thing,

but i've had so many conspiracy theories i lost count, after the first bunch i didn't really bother talking to others about it.

and even now if i do drugs i don't go into that mode at all, maybe a tiny tiny bit but i ignore it

to tell you the truth, its wrong for anyone to give a diagnosis with the knowledge that your taking drugs

if you want answers then you should cut the drugs

and then after a couple of years, ask this question again