Confused sick or not?

Ok i don't know where to start im 19 now and when i was 17 i was seeing a therapist for depression , weird behavour age 18 i was hospitalized for being suicidal and bizzare moods and behavour put on a community order and risperdal after my community order finished i stopped the medication because i beleived it was doing more harm them good . i was diagnosed with Schizophreniform which i don't beleive i had but now ive come to realise all the thing's i have done are far from average or normal like getting in my car and driving to the police station to hand myself in because i was intoxicated.. climbing around the roof at 5 oclock in the morning there just some of them and ive been reading up on different types of schizophrenia and wondering have i been cured from schizophreniform considering i stopped my medication after a short period of time or has it moved onto something more. even recently my moods are weird im very confused , clumsy i feel retarded at times not with it but when im not feeling like that im very energetic can't sit down for 2 long can't focus talking to myself, can't have a proper conversation changing topics every few seconds . ive walked home from friends 2x now in the last month which is a 17k walk after midnight.. talking to myself the whole way home when i walked past the grave yard trying to talk to " spirit's" telling them to rest in peace if there walking this road with me .im trying to explain this the best i can and trying to figure out if i have Schizoid personality disorder because i detached myself from the world for years , lived in my room and never slept for 2-3 days at a time.. never left my street for weeks or month's at a time going out in public was making me very nervous could never look at people directly or talk to them just thing's lke that pushed away my family and friends . I read that schizophreniform can lead into schizophrenia but i don't have auditory haluccinations or visual so does this mean im just weird? or is it Schizoid personality disorder me telling you on this webpost is the first time ive told anybody about my past and recent and me telling you this mean im not sick? ive allways thought if ur sick u don't know you are and even now i have no idea who i am or what's my purpose? thanks for reading pls help

Hi Andeet
if you are talking to spirits im sure that would be considered hallucinations, i had been reading up on schizophrenia and seemingly you can have perods when you are ok and then become ill again what i am trying to say is maybe you dont feel ill because you are not ill all the time, i too talk to voices all the time and it really gets to me too.

Hi Andeet, you don't sound healthy, so it would be a good idea to keep seeing a doctor or therapist.

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Hi Andeet. I hope your days have been going good for you.

You mentioned in your post that you had tried turning yourself in for intoxication. Being under the influence of any mood altering substance could cause mood changes and psychotic behaviour. If you are using anything like this I would recomend you stop using them as they could be the cause of your troubles or could be amplifying your problems.

The next step, in my opinion, would be to see a doctor and explain what you are experiencing and how these experiences cause you distress. From what you describe in your post it sounds like you could benifit from some medication and therapy.

If you're interested in a an opinion of an ameture for a diagnosis I would suggest you look up bi-polar disorder and possibly bi-polar with psychotic features. And in my opinion talking to people who have passed is ok, as long as they don't talk back.

Zero

Hi bardamu95. I hope theres at least some good music in that radio of yours.

Akathisia is a common side affect of antipsychotics but it also affects alot of us natuarlly as well. I too have suffered from this long before starting my antipsychotic meds. If it's giving you alot of trouble I would ask your doctor about trying Benadryl. I've heard that it helps with this problem.

I do hear voices but not very often. My worst problems with what they call the positive symptoms have been with thought insertions and delusions. Hopefully with my new meds these problems will go away.

Zero