Was it real?

Hi, a few years ago i started to hear or even feel this voices, with time i noticed it was two voices
Eqch voice was different and unique from the other and myself, the first one was a a silhouette of a i think 20s something, it was a she and she is very brave and straightfordward, she was the one who wantwd justice, protected me from hurt while the other one was i think 10-13yrs old, she was a mini me, the child i still try to protect but shes more of a sentimental, sensitive person, she craves validation and would do anything to just being told she was good.

All this scared the sht out of me when i heard it, since younger i felt someone, things, bugs in my skin, i used to though it was just the wind or something, but now im 19 and its still there, and the voices helped me, i sometimes hear them, comment on my life, helping or making me feel worse, are those voices something apart from me? Are they just my thoughts? I feel separated from their thoughts, from their words, how do i know they arent my words?

I'v started on antidepressants three weeks ago and its juts feels quiet but i feel it behind me, its still there like a shadow that i dont want to know its there, the voices are not here anymore, but i feel bugs crawl my body again, i dont know if im supposed to feel this way, how im supposed to feel at all.

Im sorry for my bad writting, english its not my first language, bye.

Hello and welcome! I'm the moderator here in the Schizophrenia forum.

idontknowatall wrote:Im sorry for my bad writting, english its not my first language, bye.

Maybe it isn't your first language, but I think you're doing well enough.

idontknowatall wrote:I'v started on antidepressants three weeks ago and its juts feels quiet but i feel it behind me, its still there like a shadow that i dont want to know its there, the voices are not here anymore, but i feel bugs crawl my body again, i dont know if im supposed to feel this way, how im supposed to feel at all.

What antidepressant are you taking? And what was the reason it was prescribed to you? Meaning, was it actually prescribed as an antidepressant, or was it prescribed for some other reason?

Have you told a doctor or mental health professional about the voices and the bugs? If so, what was their opinion or diagnosis?

There is a lot to unpack in your post, and I want to make sure you're in the appropriate forum. You've chosen this to be in Schizophrenia, but I want to make sure that's the appropriate place, I'm not completely sure at this time. I'll be throwing a lot of questions at you, in order to help you get some answers that fit for you.

The voices you describe sound very much as if they are personalities. I want to try and decide if these are voices such as someone with schizophrenia would hear them, or something else.

Do you suffer from any hallucinations?

Do you ever see things that others say aren't there?

Do you ever find yourself believing things that you can't convince other people are real?

Do you ever feel as if you're being watched, or stalked, or acted upon by external unseen forces, such as a conspiracy of people, or the government?

Do the voices berate you, insult you, persecute you, or tell you to do things you don't want to do?

Can you describe in more detail the 'bugs' sensation that you feel?

Do you ever have periods of time that you can't remember what you did, or where you've been?

Do you ever have missing time?

Do you ever see notes, or other things, that you had to have done or written, but you don't remember doing or writing them?

Do you sometimes feel as if your personality or name is different? And if so, do they seem to match those voices you mentioned?

idontknowatall wrote:Are they just my thoughts? I feel separated from their thoughts, from their words, how do i know they arent my words?

One thing I've read that is a facet of schizophrenia, is that thoughts and internal dialogue that people without schizophrenia recognise as internal, can seem to be external, to someone with schizophrenia. So whereas I might think a thought, a schizophrenic person might hear it as an audible voice. Even so, it is in both cases a thought within the head of the person.

I'm unconvinced this is schizophrenia, however, until I hear back from you with some answers to my questions.

I'm just a moderator- no one here is allowed to diagnose anyone, we are a peer-support forum. However, what you tell me will help me have an idea what might be going on, and then if necessary, I'll move this thread somewhere else if I think it will help you better. Or urge you to start a new thread in another forum, if we explore schizophrenia and decide things just aren't quite matching up for you.

Hello and welcome! I'm the moderator here in the Schizophrenia forum.

Hi, first i wanted to say sorry i still dont understand the quote, code things in case i dont do it properly, and if needed to change, delete, this post from the Schizophrenia forum i wont mind, i choosed this forum because of the similarity of the others blogs i felt it would be a good choice.

Snaga wrote:What antidepressant are you taking? And what was the reason it was prescribed to you? Meaning, was it actually prescribed as an antidepressant, or was it prescribed for some other reason?

Im taking fluoxetine, its my first time taking antidepressants and im on my first moth, from the session i could tell, or believe it was due to eating problem and self harm thing that i have talked about, maybe once i speak about these voices her perception of me changes.

Have you told a doctor or mental health professional about the voices and the bugs? If so, what was their opinion or diagnosis?

I wasnt able to talk about it due to lack of time, but i do want to speak about these, voices and bugs, a few years ago to my pshychologist i told her about the voices, and bugs but she didnt say anything back but to look at me in a way it made me feel it was weird abt myself and said i should go to a psychiatrist.

Do you suffer from any hallucinations?
Do you ever see things that others say aren't there?

I sometimes if not most of the time see things that are not there, often are shadows around the corner, or the silhouette of a person following me, staring at me, faces of people i dont know smile at me, looking like a a stranger, someone you don't remember but certain parts that feels familiar.

Do you ever find yourself believing things that you can't convince other people are real?
Do you ever feel as if you're being watched, or stalked, or acted upon by external unseen forces, such as a conspiracy of people, or the government?

Outside and inside of my room i feel watched, every corner feels like someone is following me, that when i walk past people i might get stabbed or raped, I think that in every crack, space, object is watching me, so that I am being judged, I am terrified of eye contact for the same reason.

Do the voices berate you, insult you, persecute you, or tell you to do things you don't want to do?
Can you describe in more detail the 'bugs' sensation that you feel?

Yes, those voices, they do sometimes tell me to hurt people, myself, hurt in way they yell at me for doing things that I know are not right, that go against what I believe is right. The feeling i could say is when a ladybug walks on your arm, tickles you as it walks, you try to get rid of it and you see that it's just luck. But I don't see anything, I feel it walking under my skin and I can't get it off even if I try, letting it run down my arm, legs, face.

Do you ever have periods of time that you can't remember what you did, or where you've been?
Do you ever have missing time?
Do you ever see notes, or other things, that you had to have done or written, but you don't remember doing or writing them?

I forget things, from the smallest to forget to brush my teeth again to forget days, important things like doctor's appointments, plans I made the day before or parts of my life where I resort to drawing to remember.

Do you sometimes feel as if your personality or name is different? And if so, do they seem to match those voices you mentioned?

I sometimes feel my personality is different, from what i though was me to a moment where i swore i wouldn't treat, make people or myself feel that way, the voices do not match how i am, but how a friend, stranger would speak to me but it doesnt feel like words i would say, think, those words i hear are not mine but i hear it when im on my own, with people but i cant see to touch, tell where its from, those voices often speak about what i should do, not do, think, speak, be a way im not, want to hurt, protect me.

I'm unconvinced this is schizophrenia, however, until I hear back from you with some answers to my questions.

I wish I could say whether my choice of forum was right, but perhaps you are not the only one who thinks it might not be, but rather nonsensical words on my part.

Thank you for your detailed reply!

I think, for the time being, you've chosen an appropriate forum.

I had in my mind that this might belong in Dissociative Identity Disorder, but from your replies, I think for the time being the thread most belongs in this forum. Maybe until we discover more. There are other disorders that I think sometimes present with psychosis, but a lot of what you said does sound a lot like schizophrenia symptoms.

I was interested in knowing if the medication prescribed to you was used for more than depression; that is to say if it also had uses for things like delusional behavior or psychosis, but it appears you're using the generic for Prozac, and that is an SSRI that I don't find much information about use as anything but for depression and also for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

Speaking of which, there is sometimes a tie-in between Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Schizophrenia. Sometimes OCD is a precursor to Schizophrenia, also sometimes people with OCD can have delusions that go beyond the usual thinking OCD people do. I have OCD, and while I'm definitely not schizophrenic, sometimes my thinking has closely approached having delusions that once or twice I was close to not being able to tell that they weren't real.

I'm not sure the Fluoxetine will do much for the voices/bugs, although I do see some literature on the use of Fluoxetine as an adjunct to help with depression in schizophrenic patients.

a few years ago to my pshychologist i told her about the voices, and bugs but she didnt say anything back but to look at me in a way it made me feel it was weird abt myself and said i should go to a psychiatrist.

That might not be a bad idea. It can be difficult to discern what might be going on- so much of your posts could be explained by different types of mental illness. For now, some level of schizophrenia might be the most logical thing.

Is there anything you have been diagnosed with by your psychologist?

Oh and I'll add that if this is schizophrenia, you're in the age range of typical onset. I read that it usually develops between 13 and 29 years of age. I think I've read the most typical is early 20s, but I have known people that developed it in their teens.

I was interested in knowing if the medication prescribed to you was used for more than depression; that is to say if it also had uses for things like delusional behavior or psychosis, but it appears you're using the generic for Prozac, and that is an SSRI that I don't find much information about use as anything but for depression and also for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

Hi!, im not sure myself since it was my first session ever, i expect to my next one to have a bit of feedback and maybe a chance for me to explain and speak of this other things i wasn't able to. I might believe that why it was more into treating the depression was because my father had it too and possible autism or type of mental illnes they werent able to diagnose to him.

I'm not sure the Fluoxetine will do much for the voices/bugs, although I do see some literature on the use of Fluoxetine as an adjunct to help with depression in schizophrenic patients.

I hope it could be able to also help, maybe once im able to speak of this i could find a kind of middle ground to find a better result or way to also help to these, voices and the other stuff, makes sence that the reasons of sh, was mostly to not meet these expectations of myself and that these voices said to me, like a constant need to be good.

Is there anything you have been diagnosed with by your psychologist?

I was never told of a diagnosed about me or neither my mum as far she told me, apart from possible general anxiety i wasnt able to get a proper feedback about this sadly, im almost in my 20's so maybe in my next sesión i might be able to get a proper one.

I'm a fool.

I was completely forgetting the possibility of depression with psychosis. Psychotic Depression is a thing. I remember that was once suggested as something my dad was suffering with- it's not what was wrong with him, but that's not the point, the point is that psychotic depression is a thing.

Or Schizoaffective Disorder, which appears to involve schizophrenia symptoms and mood disorders.

But yeah, until you talk more to them, psychotic depression is on the table.

If you do get some indications that this isn't schizophrenia, but something else, we'll move this thread into a more appropriate forum. If worst comes to worst, we do have a basket to throw hard-to-define things into, and I can always place it there. It's really just about getting similar sufferers to see and comment on your issue in the most relevant way we can.