Some of my voices tell me their names, and they refer to each other by those names. But the names they use are those of people I have known. I think they intentionally do this as part of an ongoing attempt to induce me to make mistakes and incorrectly think they are humans. But why would an hallucination(s) have motives?
Furthermore, they actually acknowledge that they do have motives. Often, their stated motive is to cause me to have what they call “a hang-over”, which is a term they use that describes the problems that occur in the real world after misattributing their identity. For example, if I am psychotic or stressed, or if I am reality checking for some reason, I might react to who they ‘say’ they are by posting something incriminating, embarrassing or defamatory on Facebook. But having motives is not the only surprising and inexplicable trait my voices have. They also plan things, they have meetings, and one of them runs a training school in which I am the subject that the students (other voices) use to practice cruelty towards.
But what really does me in, is an implied association between my voices and my feelings, and I do not mean the feelings I get as a result of hearing certain things, and I do not mean emotions. I mean things like twitching, very increased heart rate, ‘hot flushes’, cramps etc. My voices repeatedly ask “did you feel that?”, as though they are checking whether something they have done has worked. I also occasionally have absolutely terrible feelings that I struggle to be able to describe, and my voices will start ‘saying’ that the $#%^ feelings I am having are a punishment for something that I have recently done.
But to suggest that my feelings are somehow causally related to my voices is to suggest that my voices have agency, which is absurd. So I am really keen to hear from other people if they suspect that their voices impact their feelings (not moods or emotions) in a determinate, causal way. By this I mean that the voices do something that causes or changes feelings, that is, do your voices ever actually perpetrate changes in your feelings?