Who else feels hopeless *warning triggers

Hello guys..
I've been suffering from high moods where I don't sleep and very creative and full of energy and low moods where I'm suicidal and lack self confidence I've had a low mood for a month and high moods for a week to the point where I thought I could take over the government and ran away. however I hear voices even in my normal mood and have delusions like cameras are watching me and aliens are after me. I've been in hospital three times and all said random things first said borderline second said psychosis and third said autism. But I've only stay there for a week each since I kept on appealing my section. Right now I have the crisis team which are rubbish they come and ask the same question over and over again they give me meds that make me shaky and sick and feel so much pain.. so I stoped taking them and now I result to use self harm as a support network. And went to hospital twice since I taken an overdose and couldn't call the crisis team because they are always busy and don't help, they just said play with the cat. Recently they came and yelled at me saying it's stupid that I'm not taking meds and that I must be making it up because no goes off meds. So I just felt like I have no one. No psychologist to talk to and not the gp since they took over my prescription.
Who else's feels hopeless.