reppetitive intruding thoughts interfering with my wellness

hi im 21, been diagnosed schizophrenic since going to the army in 2004. was put on resperdal.
i was sent to the hospital in 2006 for being a little crazy, i was not on meds. anyways, i am at a new treatment center for young adults and i've met the new psyciatrist once. She changed my meds im on 20 mg of abilify 10 in the am. 10 in the pm just till i get my medi-cal then im switching to geodon.

after coming back from a trip to hawaii with my parents in april, i consider myself sick. im stable. but because i keep having intrusive thoughts i cant get a job, talk to people even like aunts or cousins. i can barely watch tv. the thoughts are usually when i see a guy, a tormenting thought runs thru my mind like "id suck his d**k."i think i thik this because this is like the worst thought i can think of. its really psycologically torturing and against my nature! this started in hawaii while driving sitting in the backseat. i was really upset and had insomnia and stressed caus i had to go to a wedding, it just started happening. even when watching tv. i got so distressed and sad, plus the thoughts were painful...
its not that bad now but it still happens and even when i go to the clubhouse i sometimes have the words go thru my head. and it litterally makes me panic and socially dysfunctional. also another one is when a worker is black. i think the n word while were talking and that sh*t causes me stress and anxiety. i am nowhere near racist or homosexual. its just my self destructive mind. or schizophrenia. at first after researching i thought i had homosexual ocd. any one else have intrusive thoughts?

Oh yeah, I've had all kinds of intrusive thoughts like that but the ones that bothered me the most always had something to do with permanently injuring somebody or murder. And then I started having urges and hallucinations that made me crash my car and land in the hospital 3 times. All of that happened because medication makes me worse but most people as far as I know never have that problem. I hear about some people who just don't respond to medication and one where they had no personality and couldn't handle it.

yeah, i have that horribly, whatever situation i am in. I can't stop thinking of the absolute worst most awful possible thing that could happen, also most if not all these thoughts go against the grain of my personal mantra. i'm not : racist,homophobic,one who would harm others.....i am a loner, yes......but have no problems with other's ways of life, everyone is entitled to a satisfied existence. But for all the world, i'm sitting there watching a tv show, or whatever, and these horrid ideas come on.....gee, those people are smiling and happy, what if out of the blue i walked up and poured battery acid in their faces?that sort of thing. which is to me, endlessly disturbing, and always comes back to haunt me in that night's nightmares. Which i have always had....horrible, disgusting, 3d technicolor splatter movies masquerading as nightmares. ummm, so yeah, you are def. not alone with this. 'core

I too have intrusive thoughts. When I am talking to someone either male of female I think/envision sexually explicit thoughts. I've never had any violent thoughts and would never act out any of the sexually explicit stuff and that makes the thoughts that much more disturbing.

This is most likely a physiological problem, rather than a psychological one. If I had to guess it would be a hiatal hernia (where the stomach protured into the diaphragm) which is limiting your brains oxygen supply and causing major dysfunction in your neural functioning. My suggestion to you would be sever stretching of every muscle in your body, lifting weights, and getting to a sauna every day. You may notice improvements within literally a minute if it is a hiatal hernia.

I used to have this problem, my situation was a little different... I can't remember exactly how I overcame it. I think the trick is to realize you're human and you will have both positive and negative thoughts. You can't have one without the other. Remember they can't read your mind.

I have intruding thoughts like crazy. I was NEVER EVER racist, but I also have a serious problem thinking the N word an awful lot. I never had homosexual thoughts EVER either. I now think things like you mentioned and also a lot of other stuff. Sometimes I think about killing people or hurting people as well. It drives me crazy. I hate being like this, I now hate myself and beat myself up over these thoughts all day.

I’ve been very anxious about intrusive thoughts when I was 13-14. This anxiety, along with the thoughts that caused it, was allayed when I started using EPA supplements, which increase levels of serotonin and so alleviate obsessive-compulsive behavior.
At the brunt of my clinical depression last June, I sometimes had highly violent intrusive thoughts. At that point I so hated the whole universe that I no longer found them disturbing: although I could never act them out, I almost relished in them, as I could release my hatred in those fantasies.
I know it can be impossible to accept those thoughts, but try not to worry too much about them. Tell yourself that the only reason you think those thoughts is because they’re so disturbing. The fact that you’re disturbed by them is good: otherwise, you could actually act on them. However, the only way to reduce these thoughts is to ignore them as much as possible until they return to where they belong: the unconscious mind.

I already posted this in another thread but I guess this one is more appropriated.

Try relaxing your brain like you would do with any other muscles.

I hope this helps a bit.

I get those too, with people also reading my mind and them saying it/being broadcasted on tv, even on the meds

'your not real' is a favorite among the audience