My wife is making me insane

My wife refuses to take medication again after few days on Risperidal. She’s been through two major episodes and she simply refuses to take medication because she says “it make me too sleepy” or “ I’m feeling fine right now”. She is suffering from Paranoid schizophrenia. Our marriage is going down hill and our family lives are slowly disintegrating. We been married for 10 years with three kids and I don’t think I can live with her any more what should I do? She is making me go crazy. I thought about divorce many times but I’m not sure if this is the right way to solve the problem.

That is a terribly hard situation. I'm dealing with it from the other point of view; I've been with my husband for twelve years, and we have four kids. I've had two major episodes in the last year.

To be honest, it's easy for someone else to say that taking the meds is the right thing. But having the same problems with sleepiness that your wife is having, I can honestly say that it's far from easy to take them. Meds don't make you feel better. They control symptoms if you take them for long enough; but there's no instant relief and honestly, the side effects are still making me wonder if it's really any better than being ill.

Imagine how you'd feel if someone gave you a drug that knocks you out, muddies your thinking, makes you so hungry it hurts and is linked to not only weight gain but likely type 2 diabetes too and tells you you haev to take it even though you don't actually feel ill at all. You wouldn't take it right? Well, that's how your wife feels right now.

I take my meds for one reason; my family. Right now I have enough insight to know that they help keep things on an even keel. But getting to that point is hard, even without the crap that goes with the meds.

Some practical ideas that might help (because I also know how absolutely awful it can be living with someone with this - I really do feel for you).... First off, does your wife have a keyworker? You could try sitting in on their meetings, say, once a month or so. My husband and I have just started this - it helps us both understand things from the other's point of view with a third party to keep it structured and stop us getting too emotional about things. I did really resent that at first - mainly because I find it very hard to accept what feels like other people assuming control. But if you can do it, it can be very helpful.

Also ask about support for you - my husband is now in touch with a group run specifically for carers whihc gives him an outlet for his feelings and frustrations, and access to help, advice and information.

Look into other types of support for your wife; if she has real problems with meds, ask about cognitive therapy and so on - treatment does not have to be chemical or nothing. I've found cognitivce therapy to be at least as useful, if not more so, than the meds.

Hope that helped some. I really hope things get better too.

Why don't you read "Mad in America" before you do anything crazy. You should get more INFORMATION before acting like this especially if you are not experience.

I personally don't like risperdal. I was on 4mg of it each day for about three months. Stop it. Two months later, i'm still having side effects. I believe i have blood circulation problem in my brain. I later found out that risperdal can cause strokes, blood clot, as well as other things.

I also tried geodon which i think is better. However it does affect sleep. The only good thing about this drug is that it warns me if my brain is being damage. I was getting incredible sensations of tightness in my brain about three weeks later into it. It gave me a hint to lower the dose but not RISPERDAL.

I understand what these people are saying, but if your wife's only complaint is "tiredness" and her only excuse is "I'm fine", then I don't see why she should refuse medication.

If she wants to get better, taking medications can be a step. Help her understand that. Show her the pros of medication, and getting better. Let her know what is happening around her in your eyes, without making her feel guilty or dwelling on it. I also suggest for you to read up on medications and sideaffects. You wont know how she "feels" on them, but you can understand the pros and cons fully. Also listen to her thoughts on medicting.

If her feeling leans towards "anti medications" and not just a "no, because I'm fine", look into other treatments like Therapy, or generic ideas.

Panic

Again, trying to pay close attention to the side effects of risperdal while taking it has some flaws. I noticed it first hand. Also, the psychiatrist will not give the full story of the dangers unless you dictate and point out all the facts why you think it is so. Only then will the psychiatrist open up to you. The medication is not very appetizing when you know the truth. I would try psychotherapy first before medications.

...........alrighty guest, calm down, yes yes, they can be quite awful, meds that is, and the non warnings of howit makes you feel like you just got stupider, and you can't stop eating, but really, for your wife to get any better, she has to want to,maybe it would be a good idea for you two to not divorce, but to live separately for awhile, until the brokiness can be fixed, because two brokens, doesn't make a fixed. if you give yourselves some space, then the right things will pan themselves out in the end, they always do,and don't now see each other, do date and eat dinner together and such, but it sounds like she just needs to get away and focus on getting better, she needs that, as much as you probably need your wife back, good luck hon, and another note to guest, don't feel so allienated, yes, the antipsychotics do somtimes suck balls, abilify gave me schiophrenia, and risperdalmade me gain about 15 lbs in two months and made me not think nearly as clear, and o btw, i only weigh 132, and thats with the weight now gone and drug free, so get her some help, get yourself both some help, it's the only way out, and yes, the ris does suck, sighsigh, trying to catch my thoughts----- but yes, she just needs to get in touch with whats going on, instead of covering it up with some drug that will hurt her in the end, um yes, bybye! sorry, my minds a littl ebit choppy right about now, lol, it's past my bedtime!

Moramind,

You seem funny. Sorry. This board seems awfully down and I suppose I'm not technically allowed to be here as I don't have schizophrenia, but I live with one who does...anyway, you made me laugh. Thanks.

With sincere regrets to OP:

I'm in your situation, though I'm not actually married to the man...just so you know, I feel your pain...such guilt, such love, such...such...there is simply nothing to say when a beautiful person is self-destucting...through no fault of their own...

I hope all is well. Just remember, many schizophremics shut down emotionally. She loves you, but imay be incapable of showing it at the moment. As my guy says daily, I love you on an intellectual level, but I feel nothing . This obviosuly hurts, but is true in the SZ way. When she snaps out of it, she'll be that much more in love

Wow. I dont know what to say but the first post in this thread really hit home for me. My husband was recently diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, and it's been a rough time lately.

He's hospitalized at the moment, and about ready to come home. At this point, I'm not sure what to do about that. Last time he was hospitalized, he came home, stopped taking the Risperdal prescribed to him and four days later I had utter chaos on my hands.

He wouldnt let me leave the house without calling my cell phone every few minutes, he has conspiracy theories that include me trying to poision him and cheat on him, he calls the police on me for no reason and then the whole family is dragged in to the mess, my 6 year old daughter and 4 year old son are witness to his behavior. I own a small business, and he's even called customers of ours and told them that I am cheating on him, trying to poison him, etc. I have lost several customers because of this.

I am very angry, although I realize that he's sick, and this is not something he chose. I'm having to deal with that right now. Also, I dont know how many times I can let him walk back in to our lives and cause chaos.

Any thoughts would be appreciated!!!

all of those symptoms suggest your husband is really under a lot of stress, is he? or has there been some drastic change in his life?

whats been happening with him over the past few months - year or so?