Epically Schizoid Moments

Haha I can totally relate to that.

Just today a friend of mine asked me if I want to hang out at his house in the evening. He said that the girl that I spoke to recently will be there. I had quit a nice conversation with her the last time but she seems to want a boyfriend with all the lovey-dovey stuff f.e. cuddling, partying, be someone that she can show off to friends.
I first thought about going because last time we talked like an hour about George Orwells book "1984" and she had interesting things to say about it (and it´s rarely to find someone who can discuss things without being hurt when I am not sharing their opinion).
But on the other hand the third season of the "X-files" arrived today. So I know what I´m doing tonight.

ignore

Not really a "moment", but I've been cutting my own hair for two years now. And I even liked the barber I used to go to. Funny guy.

8th grade:

Some girl (who was actually rather attractive. Long blond hair and pretty blue eyes) got a huge crush on me for some reason and somehow found out where I lived. She came over uninvited (with her friend who also had a thing for me) and asked me for a walk. I didn't feel anything but I saw no reason to deny her, so I went along. A day or two later she comes over again, uninvited, but I tell my brother to tell her I'm not home. He told her "My brother told me to tell you he's not home" and my mother said there were rose petals in our front lawn from where she tore them off.

Believe it or not, I did kind of fall in love with her in my own way. It seemed strange to me that someone would try to be with me so much (she did lots of other things too, like giving me little gifts and whatnot) even after being rejected. I felt guilty because she wanted to be with me and there was no reciprocation of those feelings.

A few years later in 10th grade she began to come onto me again, but I guess it was for payback or something stupid. She was flirting it up with a lot of other guys around me as well, so I decided she was just trying to make me jealous or something. I censored her from my environment completely. I cut off all contact and haven't heard from her since, which I'm fine with.

One time I skipped my math class in senior year, and the next day my teacher jokingly said the class became much quieter without me. I found the irony pretty humorous.

SocialKnight wrote:One time I skipped my math class in senior year, and the next day my teacher jokingly said the class became much quieter without me. I found the irony pretty humorous.

One time I didn't skip literature class. All desks were in pairs and I found it odd. I asked someone about it, they told me there was test that day, to be done in pairs. "A test about what?" — "About the book." — "What book?" — "That one we read a month ago." — "Hm, I see."

I was the last one to get to class so I ended up with the most clueless guy. I had no idea what the book was about, neither did he. Got an A anyway

Maybe someone can tell me if this was a schizoid moment, even though it involves my best friend (yes, I can't be a full-blown schizoid because I do have 4 good friends, but they all live at least an hour away, and I LIKE it) and our discussion of my hair.

I had gotten this new hair cut which I didn't really like. I was ok with it, I mean, I wasn't not liking it to the point that I was upset. Just thinking, "Huh, maybe I won't do this next time...?"

I asked my friend if she liked my new hair. She appeared to study it for a moment and remarked, "Well, it will grow."

And I was so very confused by this reply. I responded to her, literally, "Uhhh, yeah. I KNOW it will GROW. It's...hair. Hair grows. But, really, back to my question - what do THINK about it?"

She had to sit me down and gently explain that was her way of telling me she did NOT think it was the most attractive style, and that I shouldn't do it again.

And I said, "Oh." Flat affect, slightly furrowed brow, as I tried to make sense of the apparent link between not liking my hair and it's natural and universally-known ability to grow...

And she laughed and laughed.

-- Fri May 18, 2012 4:58 pm --

Wait, how 'bout this? Growing up I always used my mother to get out of things. "My mother said I have to come home." "My mother said I couldn't go."

Fav - when I "won" the phyical fitness challenge in my school for hanging the longest from a bar, and was supposed to go on a SAT, mind you, to compete, something, ugh. I told them at school my mother said I couldn't come!

I'm an only child, and people must have thought she was insanely obsessed with me and/or pathologically over-protective.

A few days ago I was at school sitting on the floor, listening to music as usual. There were a few guys around, but I paid no attention. Suddenly, I looked up and I saw a girl dancing in front of me, doing the asshole and laughing with the others. I looked at her impassively. I thought she was laughing at me or something, but I did not care and I went back to listening to music.

A few minutes later I hear someone talking to me, and I looked up again. It was the same girl from before, who was now sitting on the floor next to me:
"I was dancing to see if I made you laugh, I hope I didn't upset you! It's just you're always here alone and you look so sad ..." she told me with enthusiasm and feigned concern.
I got up because she was too close and bothered me. I stared at her with apathy, wanting to say something, but then I thought, why? And I left

Here is what happened:
One of my math teacher walked into the class. I sit on the corner which you cant see from door (like i am segregated with other students). Nobody else was there. As he was walking inside, he was talking to other students as they were also coming in. He said no soul is here. After he saw me he said "My Name" doesn't have a soul. I looked him like whatever. other students were looking at me like blank, i didn't bother to look/respond to them.

None that really stands out but for two occasions -

1. My mother with whom I had a very strong emotional connection was dying in hospital from cancer. I arrived about 20 hours before she dies and I wept non-stop until the moment of her death when I was suddenly as calm as death itself (had to google this expression). I never cried afterwards but I remember describing the feeling as though "half of me is dead."

2. A year later I was studying overseas. Just about one month after the first anniversary of my mother's death, I got a phone call from home telling me that my grandmother (mother's mom) has passed. She was a central figure in our family, and I've had thoughts about how the family would change when she's gone. In the grand scale of things, the loss of my grandmother is even more devastating than of my mother. It'd be hard to celebrate a festivity without realizing she's missing. Nevertheless, I spoke a few words to my uncle who called me, walk back into my class and went on having lunch with my friends. They looked more concerned than I am.

Almost inevitably I plunged into a period of dysthymia after that.