Epically Schizoid Moments

Just remembered one, im the kind of person people usually fear i will lose it one day and kill everyone, i remember as a kid i threw a brick at someone, my teacher tried to make me realize what a big deal this is (is it a big deal tho...?) she had a tough crowd, i didnt care lol, i told him i would kill him and by the end of the school day he sent someone to check if i have a knife, in hebrew the words knife and (sandwich) bag sound the same, i gave her an empty sandwich bag.

The same massanger in that story (female) once made me fight her too lol, and she said that its not ok to hit girls, and i was like - why? What a strange way to try to avoid a fight lol, it made the same sence to me as a guy saying "you're not allowed to hit guys" lol

There have been too many for me.

In high school, lunch period was mandatory assembly by interspersed large sections of the student body. It was a public high school, in an inner city. Noise, talking, throwing food, fighting, communication...Hell. As I was placed in advanced classes, I knew the main head of the biology dept. and asked her if I could eat my lunch in her office. She said I wasn't supposed to but allowed me to if I organized some of the stacks of paperwork (as a task used to claim assistance). As head of the dept., she was very busy and was usually out of her office during my lunch period. Her office had a computer (with Tetris), and resembled an old hospital concrete office. It was a quiet refuge where I could read and be alone after organizing the reports.

Concerning my academic life, I skipped out of my High School Prom, High School Graduation Ceremony, University B.S. graduation ceremony, and University M.S. graduation ceremony. It was time well spent.

^ *high five* I love skipping out on ceremonies and milestones too!

Finally got off my ass to get new glasses, the two for one kind of deal. I was talked into getting varifocals. Very disappointing. Couldn't see a thing through them so I made them re-do the lens which entailed another 10day wait. Couldn't see a thing through the adjusted pair either. Decided to let it go and focus on my second pair. I insisted reading lens only, no varifocals. I had to go in and choose the frame. It was overwhelming and by this stage I didn't really give a F. I chose a pair with blue sides. Thought a little colour would be nice. I paid up and didn't react when she kept upping the price for anti-glare, thinned lens etc..etc... I was so keen to get outta there and p1ssed off I had to return in a week once the lens was ready. As I left, the assistant started picking the blue colour off the glasses. It was just a protective sheath and they were gold underneath I just sighed and kept walking ....

I had a volunteer job as a telephone counselor. I'd recovered from a few years of bad depression, and I felt obliged to do something for other depressed people. Don't ask me why I thought one-on-one counseling would be a suitable activity for me, but it ended up having a lot of benefits. The training is actually really good for learning how to talk to other people in all sorts of situations, and I could get out of Christmas, New Year etc. by scheduling shifts. It's the only time in my life I've had a cast-iron way to get out of social events where I actually got social credit for escaping. "Hey, that's so generous of you to give up your Christmas."

Ha. Hardly anyone calls crisis lines in the middle of the day on public holidays. The peak comes afterwards, when people have spent the day lonely or arguing with family. So I could put my feet up in an soundproofed call room and read a book instead of having to go to a party.

That's probably the most schizoid moment, but when I quit was typical too. It was one in the morning, and I was listening to someone who was really depressed. I realised that I was actively hoping that they'd turn out to be suicidal so I could call in a police intervention instead of having to listen to the details of their life for another ten minutes. No more telephone counseling for me after that, but I do miss the quiet of the call room in the early hours of the morning.

There is one thing that I like about doing all college classes for my entire senior year of high school. I get to skip the events that everyone else considers important and "fun." Prom sounds like a disaster that I would not like to attend. Ever. A graduation ceremony and photos seems entirely pointless and boring. Who cares?

My mom had asked me once or twice what I wanted to do for my own graduation party and who I would like to invite. I responded saying that I didn't want a graduation party. I don't care that I'm done with high school forever. It doesn't even really matter to me. I don't have friends there to invite, and a party just feels like a waste of my time for something that I don't even care about. I'm already going to be done with an entire year of college while everyone else is sitting there at a useless high school graduation ceremony - so why bother with something stupid like a party for graduating? It's not that big of a deal.

I'm the same with birthdays as well... mine is coming up soon enough and I know that someone in my family will try and 'get me to have some fun for once!' I don't want to go out and have fun. It's like any other day. It's not special.

After analyzing my supposedly "not normal" responses... those might be some schizoid moments.

I don't see those ^ responses as abnormal.

They seem perfectly reasonable to me, regardless of SPD or not. Particularly your explanation of why you don't wish a graduation party.

Are you introverted?

Eight wrote:I don't see those ^ responses as abnormal.

They seem perfectly reasonable to me, regardless of SPD or not. Particularly your explanation of why you don't wish a graduation party.

Are you introverted?

Yes... I'm extremely introverted.

I suppose that I just thought my way of thinking was abnormal since it seems as if everyone was/is excited to graduate when I couldn't care less. I don't care about having finished high school. I don't care about any of it at all. I'm not excited in the least - I just see it as one less annoyance (and one gained annoyance of college). I suppose the "abnormal" part was that I can't seem to care about a milestone that is seemingly important to my family/community.

So you don't care for a social convention that actually makes little sense (celebrating a graduation way after the fact and after you've literally moved on to college)? I see nothing abnormal about that.

I can understand that your family wants to get together and do something to mark an occasion - that's ok. But I can also see that you don't feel it's anything to celebrate in the ways that they do, especially after the fact.

They won't be pleased if you voice this and don't participate. Still, this is you and if you think this is truly how you're wired, it's a good thing to begin to express that to them and give them a chance to get to know how you operate.

It might not be conventional - it might not even be polite - but it is not abnormal.

I think it most definitely is abnormal. Outside this forum, I don't think you'll find a lot of people who think the same way about celebrations. It's definitely not a normal thing to NOT want to celebrate. Conventional things ARE normal. They're what's done normally. I think that there is something about the shared milestone experience that makes people feel connected to each other in a way that maybe people with SPD don't get.