Sense of Identity

I really like the way you view your own self identity my2cents.

I agree with you too that it's important not to put labels on oneself. I myself would rarely say "I am this, or I am that" but I rather would say, "I like this or I like that" or "I can be this way at times, or I can be that way at times".

When a person puts a label on themselves, then they are somehow locking themselves into a particualar behavior, which can set them up for disappointment, failure ect, if they ever break the self imposed condition. So even though self awareness is a gift, it's very different from a self label.

I think the way other people view someone's identity is mostly black or white. You can't go both ways, because contradictions in identity are viewed as hypocricie. And being hypocrite is mostly labelled negative. In my experience other people like to put you in a box they can understand.

It's interesting to read about the distinction being made between a sense of self-identity and the way people might perceive you. It's a good correction, I agree those are two different things.

For me, it's important to be self-aware. It helps making important decisions in life for what might fit my personality in the future, like housing, working and what sort of study. I like to think I have a personality since there are things in life I can relate to better than other. But it's not that those things say something about who I am.
I often have the feeling like their are two extreme opposites in how you can respond in any give situation. I always choose the one wich fits the outcome of the situation best for myself. So I can go left or right, the subject is the same as it was before.
I think when hold on to patterns because it's your ''identity'' you're not viewing everything as a different element, it creates tunnelvision. I like to be open-minded when it comes down to my own possibilities

I just realized that some other things in my life may be relevant to this.

I've had dreams where I go from an uninvolved observer to being one of the characters. First I see the person, then I am the person. My perspective is inconsistent. Sometimes I even have trouble telling which of the characters is me.

Sometimes I daydream/fantasize about what it would be like to meet myself. I think about time-traveling to meet someone I have been or someone I will be, clones, identical twins, my mirror reflection, splitting my body and having both parts regenerate a whole body, and doppelgangers. Although the idea fascinates me, these fantasies never get very far, maybe because I don't have a strong enough sense of who I am to imagine what it would be like to meet myself. I really want to meet myself. A popular ice-breaker question is, "if you could meet any person, who would it be?" Most people name a celebrity like Babe Ruth. I usually have a hard time choosing. Being put on the spot to answer so suddenly, I don't have the outside-the-box thought that my self is a valid answer, but now I think my self is the one person I most want to meet. I sometimes (in a kidding sort of way) envy other people because, by being someone else, they get the privilege of meeting me. I wish I could be everyone, that way I could meet everyone (including all of my selves), multiple times from multiple perspectives.

I develop my morality by trying to be someone that I would respect. I observe how other people behave, and depending on how I feel about their behavior, I choose whether to do it myself. If I met me, I would want to like me. I wish I knew how I would feel about my self if I could meet my self. This is something I am very curious about.

Does anyone identify with that?

My2cents wrote:I just realized that some other things in my life may be relevant to this.
I've had dreams where I go from an uninvolved observer to being one of the characters. First I see the person, then I am the person. My perspective is inconsistent. Sometimes I even have trouble telling which of the characters is me.
Sometimes I daydream/fantasize about what it would be like to meet myself. I think about time-traveling to meet someone I have been or someone I will be, clones, identical twins, my mirror reflection, splitting my body and having both parts regenerate a whole body, and doppelgangers. Although the idea fascinates me, these fantasies never get very far, maybe because I don't have a strong enough sense of who I am to imagine what it would be like to meet myself. I really want to meet myself. A popular ice-breaker question is, "if you could meet any person, who would it be?" Most people name a celebrity like Babe Ruth. I usually have a hard time choosing. Being put on the spot to answer so suddenly, I don't have the outside-the-box thought that my self is a valid answer, but now I think my self is the one person I most want to meet. I sometimes (in a kidding sort of way) envy other people because, by being someone else, they get the privilege of meeting me. I wish I could be everyone, that way I could meet everyone (including all of my selves), multiple times from multiple perspectives.
I develop my morality by trying to be someone that I would respect. I observe how other people behave, and depending on how I feel about their behavior, I choose whether to do it myself. If I met me, I would want to like me. I wish I knew how I would feel about my self if I could meet my self. This is something I am very curious about.
Does anyone identify with that?

I do identify with this, and I think this is AWESOMENESS!!
I think you can meet yourself! If you are truelly SELF AWARE, at all moments, and this takes a lot of work to get there, you will know yourself. You will be aware of your own behavior, AS it is taking place! You can even say to yourself when you like yourself, "WOW, that was __________" (fill in blank with whatever you feel. in other words give yourself credit when it's due to yourself. this can also be done when feelings are sad, angry ect. If you are self connected and self aware and in the moment fully, you will know yourself!!

My2cents wrote:I've had dreams where I go from an uninvolved observer to being one of the characters. First I see the person, then I am the person. My perspective is inconsistent. Sometimes I even have trouble telling which of the characters is me.

I used to have those dreams when I was younger. I don't think it is the case anymore, but then again, I rarely remember my dreams.
InvisibleGhost: that was an interesting comment. Worth pondering.

A wonderful thread, like all comments and posts.

@ InvisibleGhost. I found High self-awareness might be tricky as it led to severe confusion at times, sometimes I wanted NOT to be aware of what am I doing at moments and how I behave and sooo onn. which later led to a lot of feelings of derealization, feeling of observing moments I am actually taking part in. what do you guys think ?

I don't experience such things today but I still experience some inconvenience at times, maybe it's not related to the subject but to my cyclothymia.


Was it hard/uncomfortable for you at times ?

i'm not sure, really. a lot of times i worry that my shell will become who i really am, and there will be no real me left inside, if that counts. but i'm so quiet and no one really notices me, so i'm not too worried about what other people think of my hobbies, the way i dress, etc.

the kind of thing people usually talk about doesn't even make too much sense to me. if you did your odd behavior, it was obviously in you somewhere to do it. if it wasn't you, you wouldn't have done it. lol. and why can't you change things up every now and then? you'll still be the same person you always were. >.>

optimizeRu wrote:A wonderful thread, like all comments and posts.
@ InvisibleGhost. I found High self-awareness might be tricky as it led to severe confusion at times, sometimes I wanted NOT to be aware of what am I doing at moments and how I behave and sooo onn. which later led to a lot of feelings of derealization, feeling of observing moments I am actually taking part in. what do you guys think ?
I don't experience such things today but I still experience some inconvenience at times, maybe it's not related to the subject but to my cyclothymia.
Was it hard/uncomfortable for you at times ?

Yes, it is both challenging, uncomfortable and confusing at times. Any moment that is confusing would also be without self awareness, but at least through self awareness, I am aware that I am confused as opposed to being confused and not knowing it. I do however feel that the self awareness work is helping me tremendously. It is going to take a long long time of dedication, but the times that I have been self aware without confusion or discomfort have been very powerful and intense in feelings of fullfillment and happiness (because I am connected to my feelings). I am also finding that self awareness is linking me into recognition of my triggers and my extreme anxiety. I believe that this is holding the key for me to maintain my mental illness. It will take a long long time though.

This identity thing I find annoying. One of the things I sometimes feel I miss is the ability to feel comfortable around other people, I think people by nature want to feel 'belonging' so to feel a bit more safe. Due to my schizoidiness I became an observer of people with identities, and then you start to see the downsides of having an identity, they tend to gather based on their identity and naturally you are not a part of that, because you don't have much of an identity. But you also see that they limit themselves by taking on this identity, they need to conform to their group a lot of the time, that is something I dont want, I must confess I do feel a bit stressed sometimes by being alone all the time, that is the other side of the coin. Sometimes people want to give me an identity, so I make a lot of music on the piano and they say: 'he is classically trained', then I get really pissed, first of all I am not trained, I gathered a lot of information over the years because I am enthousiastic about music. It is not that I want to feel special, there are probaby many more people like me, but I just dont want to play the game of being a predictable character, also because it is intensly boring.

I don't know if I have enough emotion/feel enough to build much of an identity around that, as for society I had never cared about fitting in so it had never had much influence on me, yes I do take that into account, but those are just social skills not identity.