Are you able to apologize?

If you happen to hurt somebody, for example by being rude in order to get some distance, are you willing/able to go and say "I am sorry" if you realize you have hurt that person's feelings?

Assuming you realize you've hurt their feelings, and assuming they really give a crap enough about what you do to be hurt by it: generally, no.

They'll get over it. And if they don't, well, that's unfortunate for them.

I haven't had to be rude to people to get enough distance from them. Just happens as a result of my normal bland exterior presentation to the outside world.
If you aren't involved in relationships with emotional attachments there is no way this sort of thing could happen that easily.

I will apologize if I did something that caused physical harm or didn't live up to reasonable expectations in a job environment.

salamander wrote:are you willing/able to go and say "I am sorry" if you realize you have hurt that person's feelings?

That's the catch. Schizoids distance themselves from their emotions, so they may not realize or care if they have hurt someone's feelings until it becomes blatantly obvious. For me, if it reaches the point of being blatantly obvious it only causes a negative evaluation of the other person. I don't pity them, I just think they are intrusive and lack control.

For example I flipped to the news on TV last night and was greeted with an interview of some woman who was incoherently babbling in tears/anger about something. The first thought in my head was "This is so annoying, I wish she would stop whining."
It turns out her son had died somehow ... (don't know how, because I changed the channel to something less irritating.)

generally, no.

why not? don't you care or is it too difficult?

For me, if it reaches the point of being blatantly obvious it only causes a negative evaluation of the other person. I don't pity them, I just think they are intrusive and lack control.

Being blatantly obvious does not necessarily mean whining or being hysterical. It can also show f. ex. by never watching you again in your face, ignoring you and never greeting you back if you say "hi".

salamander wrote:Being blatantly obvious does not necessarily mean whining or being hysterical. It can also show f. ex. by never watching you again in your face, ignoring you and never greeting you back if you say "hi".

Would a schizoid typically see those things occurring? Or care about them if she/he did?

I'm not typically aware when people aren't paying attention to me. I'm aware when they are. And I don't usually say 'hi' to others first, unless I'm at work or university and need to appear somewhat functional to my bosses/professors.

salamander wrote:Being blatantly obvious does not necessarily mean whining or being hysterical. It can also show f. ex. by never watching you again in your face, ignoring you and never greeting you back if you say "hi".

I do not respond to any sort of subtle indications that someone is displeased with me. The best way to let me know is to say it straight to my face (preferably in a calm and rational manner) or via email. It's probably because I spent most of my time in my youth on my own and never picked up social nuances.

All those examples you listed are something I would not notice/care about because (in order):
- I rarely ever bother with eye contact / "watching your face", unless absolutely critical.
- It's pretty hard to ignore someone who never really initiates conversations
- I rarely ever bother with greetings / pleasantries. If I need to talk with someone I will just start with the topic at hand. If someone greets me in passing I will acknowledge their existence with a nod/wave or respond in kind to what they said.
In general being ignored is not distressing for someone with SPD.

Yes but I don't mean it. Apologize. Just give them what they want so they feel good about themselves and leave you alone. Do never ever ever everrrr say you are schizoid and try to explain that you are socially retarded. That would take too long and still they wouldn't get it.

If I felt bad, I would apologize, yet I do not feel bad. Partially because I am not close enough to anyone I've hurt for them to genuinely be offended by me so I find apologizing to be giving them what they don't need. It's mostly a lack of care for their well being and personally not seeing anything truly harmful about what I may or may not have said.

If you aren't involved in relationships with emotional attachments there is no way this sort of thing could happen that easily.

I have said some things to family members that were obviously hurtful to them. Then I felt some regret for saying what I did, and causing unhappiness. But I'd also think, what I said was not that bad and they are wrong to be that upset by it. So I could just say sorry but how sincere would it be?

I think what to say, depends on who was hurt.

I never notice unless my boss comes up to me and tells me that he's had two complaints (like he did today). People are oversensitive.

Apologies are easy. Just look and sound like you mean it. It takes two seconds and then you go on with your day. It doesn't need to be sincere and they don't need to deserve it.