Were you bullied?

Never really bullied in school or in life, but that mainly because most who knew me knew I am an avid hunter and target shooter.

The same went with picking fights. One of the few would be fights I had in high school I picked up a chair and was going to brain the guy with it. That was back before the days of knifing or shooting each other.

Yes.

In addition to a whole bunch of other factors, I was bullied for approximatley 6 years in primary and elemntary school, and then another 2 in high school.

But I belive that even if anyone were to get bullied as much as I was, they would'nt develop SPD like I did, but the addition of other factors like parental neglect, and overall non stop critisism from everywhere, and other negative things lead to my disorder. Like at one point for the longest time, I felt like I had no safe space, even my home seemed like a war zone. At some points, I even would rather get bullied in school, then go home to all the stuff that was going on there.

I guess developing SPD helped me stop caring about my bullies, and my parents, a bit too much, but its better than constantly feeling like your wrong to exist in this world. But of course its not that good, SPD has many many negatives, but I wont get into it right now.

Jph1998 wrote:Like at one point for the longest time, I felt like I had no safe space, even my home seemed like a war zone. At some points, I even would rather get bullied in school, then go home to all the stuff that was going on there.

This was my experience. Although home was better than school because I could retreat to my room and nobody would bother me. Essentially, I learned that isolating myself was the only way to avoid the pain of mistreatment.

No, apart from a couple of minor incidents. But I was always absolutely terrified of being bullied - so that, for instance, I'd vary my way to and from school (I'd read that that this is what potential terrorist targets are advised to do). I presume it was an early indicator of SPD.

Never bullied. I think it was because I had that blank, this guy just might kill look. I know my wife, then girlfriend was warned to be careful of me.

Not at school but at home. Older siblings waged a campaign against me for some reason. I was youngest. They were bigger so I couldnt help it. At school I wasnt passive so I cant call it bullying. More like fighting. For example this kid was bugging me so I grabbed his homework and tore it and threw it in the trash. Earned me some respect. I dont recall bullying being a trend in general at my school though.

I was bullied from Elementary through High School, sometimes physically. I had a very dysfunctional home life as well, especially in my teen years. Is the development of SPD related to events in early childhood and youth? I just thought it was something I was born with.

naps wrote: I learned that isolating myself was the only way to avoid the pain of mistreatment.

That's a profound statement that's loaded with possibility for future change.

The only bully I ever experienced was my mother. Others might have tried to bully me but I'm not susceptible to that. Except from my mother. And then only until several years into adulthood when her ability to bully me ceased.

Eight wrote:

naps wrote: I learned that isolating myself was the only way to avoid the pain of mistreatment.

That's a profound statement that's loaded with possibility for future change.

How so? I view it as a defense mechanism that led to my disorder. I found a comfy spot and wallowed in it. For forty years.

It can be tweaked a little, but not significantly changed. Currently I lack the tools to do so.

The part that inherently prefers to be alone, that gets enjoyment from that, is positively rewarding and lends itself to happiness.

The part that was constructed as a defense mechanism, that isn't about feeling pleasure but more about avoiding pain, that isn't pleasurable in itself but exists to keep the pain at bay, is malleable to some extent to increase happiness.

But yes, tools and resources are needed. And willingness.