Dating the schizoid man -- help!

morganelizabeth451 wrote: Sometimes I feel like evoking his angry side just to get an emotion out of him (extreme anger is the only strong emotion he has, and it comes in unexpected bursts every blue moon).

Have you checked Asperger Syndrome? Extreme anger would be more consistent with that than with SPD, I think.

IceBlock wrote:

morganelizabeth451 wrote: Sometimes I feel like evoking his angry side just to get an emotion out of him (extreme anger is the only strong emotion he has, and it comes in unexpected bursts every blue moon).

Have you checked Asperger Syndrome? Extreme anger would be more consistent with that than with SPD, I think.

I experience extreme anger as well, although not really often. It's usually more frustration and intolerance of peoples' ignorance, but I do get really angry if provoked (when my brother broke my xbox, for example).

morganelizabeth451 wrote:Lately things have been getting worse, and I think he's actually using his diagnosis to "get out" of doing things. He used to make an effort, and now it's just "well who do you expect me to be?"

There's no certainty that this would have gone differently without the diagnosis. He would likely have got fed-up with making the effort, or else hoped you wouldn't notice the drop-off. Many people do that in long-term relationships, even with so-called "normal" personalities.

He can change IF you help him. It's like jumping in a car with one person holding down the break and one person pushing down the accelerator

Make a plan, make compromises and then stick to it. If one person lags behind, we know who's really at fault. Good luck

One question that pops to my mind is: "Is it that he cannot compliment you and whatnot or that he is not doing it enough to satisfy you?". If it is the latter then perhaps, you need to specify to him exactly how and when you want him to compliment you. If he is in fact a schizoid, he's not going to empathize or entirely understand your desire for affection as he doesn't have it himself. If he IS complimenting you and whatnot but it's not enough to satisfy you, he may not realize it's not enough nor will he know what enough is.

I can sort of relate with the wanting to do stuff but not being able to carry through. There have been times when I'm alone and doing something sexual has seemed like a good idea in my mind, but then I'm actually near a woman and the idea suddenly turns me off. It could be due to several things like her body isn't in person what I imagined in my mind, or her individual personality is annoying me. If you're not sexually satisfied, then that's something that maybe he needs to work on.

Badness is subjective, but I would do based on my moral code is review what I believe to be my obligations based on the promises both explicit and implicit that I've made. If I'm breaking an obligation, then what I'm doing something bad. If not, then I'm well within my rights to break up if I want to.

Miserys Crown wrote:He can change IF you help him. It's like jumping in a car with one person holding down the break and one person pushing down the accelerator

No.

This thread was from 2008. OP hasn't posted here since then. You guys can go home now.

Zomonada wrote:This thread was from 2008. OP hasn't posted here since then. You guys can go home now.

The subject changed, twice. It went from the original, to talking about our relationships, to giving advice to morgane.