Blank Expression and "fitting in"

people have said that I give off a gloomy vibe and a "I hate everyone" look and other things like I'm scary or angry and that some people will not look at my eyes, I get this a lot, people do not bother me because of this and I'm glad, if looks could kill I would be a serial killer, many of you probably have this look. My face is cold and made of stone

heh, good story jofride.

while in grad school i earned the nickname "unabomber" (ted kaczynski) for my quiet, reclusive, unexpressive ways. i was, and still am, easily mistaken for a ticking time bomb.

the truth is that couldn't be further from the truth. i am pretty much at peace with how i am, i and i'm offended by the notion that blank-faced quiet types are just waiting to blow up.

i'm sure many here will recall the horrific virginia tech shootings. people like cho give unexpressive loners a bad name. i doubt schizoids are any more prone to violent acts than anyone else. but because we're not all normal and expressive and sociable, we leave people wondering. whatever...

(Un)Fortunately.. no one's gone for the killer joke that I can remember. I usually just get stupid $#%^ like "Oh wow! I can't see your backpack!" (it's camo, and I really hate that joke) and the basic "You look depressed!"

Anyway.. That's actually the smile I typically use, I'll alternate that between that and blankness, nothing I can do about the switching, it just happens. It's like the NPD smile, it's fake, doesn't reach the eyes. With N's you still have the intensity, and with SPD's, so little effort that the eyes aren't even completely open.

That leads me to another thing, the half lidded eyes and the purple bags under the eyes: "Gee, you look tired"- the one phrase I hate worse than the depression one.

I have similar eyes but my glasses cover the bags so I don't get that many comments about how tired I look.

I always have a blank look on my face, a sort of distant or even bored expression, and I think it does scare people away from me.

I am often told that I look miserable, angry or worried, and I now say in response that it is a mistake reading the look on my face as it does not reflect what I am feeling (if I am feeling anything at all).

I don't know how to look happy without making it look fake. People say I have a nice smile, but I don't like my smile so I try not to smile and that probably makes thing worse.

I often get the, "You know what they say about quiet types? You have to be careful or they may kill you." I'll smile and go "yeah" or roll my eyes and go "pffft."

That's the most straight forward I've gotten, they're usually more round about, not so obvious.

A few guys in Security(Where I pick up my work keys) say "Quiet down! You talk to much." or "Stop talking!".

Shrinks think I'm depressed when I'm not. That's frustrating. Try explaining to a shrink that she's wrong--you get the "you're just in denial" spiel in a New York minute. They should can that one and sell it.

In school, my peers either thought I was a snob or just weird. I remember passing one classmate on the street. She whispered to her friend (whom I didn't know), "that girl never says a word," like silence was some kind of felony. I guess she thought I couldn't hear her. Maybe she could get away with that now, but back then my hearing was pretty sharp.

I never got the serial killer thing, probably because I'm female.

Septimus wrote:I am often told that I look miserable, angry or worried, and I now say in response that it is a mistake reading the look on my face as it does not reflect what I am feeling (if I am feeling anything at all).

I don't know how to look happy without making it look fake. People say I have a nice smile, but I don't like my smile so I try not to smile and that probably makes thing worse.

I get all of this as well. The most common is "you look so angry". I don't know if I was ever thought of as a "killer" or something, but I did get the "can't trust those quiet types" and other stupid comments/questions like "how much did you say this year?" or "quiet down you!". I earned myself the nickname, "jaded" in high school and people thought I hated everything and everyone. Sometimes when I look people in the eye, they get this scared, wide eyed look, like a dear caught in the headlights or the split second a cat freezes in wide eyed fear just before it bolts when startled.

I still fail to understand why people are so afraid or put off by the "quiet loner" stereotype. Those kind of people always keep to themselves and leave everyone alone. I know that people generally fear what they don't understand or think as weird and that that personality type is portrayed negatively by the media but still. It would seem more atrocities are perpetrated by the charm and beguile, wolf in sheep's clothing type. How am I supposed to kill someone if everyone is afraid and on their guard around me? When everyone would suspect me of being a killer? I think it would be much easier tricking them into thinking I'm friendly and normal and lure them someplace secluded to do my evil deeds.

I guess they consider the quiet type less predictable and uncontrollable. Portrayed as the powder keg ticking time bomb waiting to snap and go on a killing spree. I think people fear that the most because they think they can't protect themselves from that sort of threat, that it is less predictable and preventable. As opposed to the other numerous types of killings or violent crimes. They probably don't think someone near them who they know could do something like that, and that those people are the ones who are most likely to commit that kind of crime. Maybe they think they can pick out the bad ones and avoid hooking up with a psychopath, thus giving them a false sense of control and security over the situation.

I also think people imagine murderers and psychopaths as uncaring, emotionless, guiltless, remorseless and un-empathetic. When they identify people who they think overtly display those features it's like a little red flag goes off in their minds warning them that that person could be dangerous. "They aren't a normal caring human being and thus are more likely to hurt your or not care if they do hurt you. They won't protect you. They don't feel your pain or your situation and thus are less likely to act in a way that would be beneficial to your security or survival." But of course, humans are still social creatures and in this society they are forced to be around those people at some times (like work for example). So they try to marginalize or reduce the threat by joking about it or spreading rumors and speculations. This comforts them.

I've always found people running up and giving the whole 'you look _______" spiel really confusing. How am you supposed to look like something when you don't display emotion? Secondly, how are you supposed to explain that you not only don't feel depressed or whatever, but that you simply can't?.. Bleh..

I guess people are wary of the quiet types because they find it unsettling, and the media perpetuates the idea of 'oh gee.. he was always so quiet, dunno how those bodies got in the freezer'.. and it certainly doesn't help when it actually happens- Some Russian grocer killed off something like 50-60 people, trying to fill a chess board or something.. Maybe it's just that you see more quiet types then you do of the charismatic wolf.