Parenthood

Steppenwolf wrote:

SpiritParticle wrote:I am annoyed to NO end by people who INSIST that I will change my mind when I'm older. They will argue about it, and insist that they knew someone "just like you" who didn't want children, but changed their mind late in life. I get overly frustrated by people like this. Why can't they handle the idea that someone wouldn't want children?

I know exactly what you mean. It makes me scream inside. It makes me want to beat up someone.

I consider getting a vasectomy. A pleasant side effect would be that I'd become a million times more credible when I say that I'll never have children.

GOOD idea!!! I might do within the next few years. Maybe then people would shut up.

lia wrote:My questions to other schizoids:

Do you have children? (Biological, foster, step, adopted.)

If you don't have children, do you want to become a parent?

If you don't have and don't want children, at what point did you realize that?

No, I do not have children.

No, I do not wish to become a parent.

I've never wanted children--I've had nephews and nieces since I was 12 and have cognitively known since then that that I did not want the responsibility that is inherent with having kids.

Aphid wrote:I mean, a lot of people would agree that the world sucks so why would you bring another person into it? It just seems immoral to me.

for a long time that's been my rationale, though it's more along the lines of the vast financial expense and ecological footprint of raising a kid in a "modern" industrialized country like the u.s. that i found immoral. nowadays i don't even need that as a rationale.

though this whole issue is a very different one to respond to depending on whether you are male or female. societal expectations about getting married and having kids are imposed far more heavily on the latter.

Aphid wrote:To the people who say it's selfish and wrong to not want children I just turn it around and say that it is selfish and immoral to go and have children.
Think about all the reasons people have children. They are all selfish reasons when you think about it.
I mean, a lot of people would agree that the world sucks so why would you bring another person into it? It just seems immoral to me. And even if you're an optimistic person who loves life that doesn't mean your kid will turn out the same way. The kid could go through endless suffering in life just 'cause the parents wanted a little love object and mirror image of themselves.

Exactly. I definitely think that it's immoral in this day and age to procreate. The world is overpopulated, tons of kids need adopted, and life isn't exactly easy. I doubt many people think about these things before they throw their contraceptives in the trash. They're just in love, and want to share their 'abundance of love' with a new being.

SpiritParticle wrote:

I consider getting a vasectomy. A pleasant side effect would be that I'd become a million times more credible when I say that I'll never have children.

GOOD idea!!! I might do within the next few years. Maybe then people would shut up.

As far as I know it's more complicated, more expensive, and more dangerous for a woman to have her tubes tied than for a man to get a vasectomy. Biology is a bitch, eh?

As far as I know it's more complicated, more expensive, and more dangerous for a woman to have her tubes tied than for a man to get a vasectomy. Biology is a bitch, eh?

The procedure is simple(from what I have read), but I don't know about cost. It's also not an entirely reliable way of avoiding pregnancy... the tubes can come untied(I have read a lot of reports online of women who thought they didn't have to worry about pregnancy anymore, only to turn up pregnant a couple years after getting spayed).
My understanding is that it is difficult to even get a doctor to do it, if you are even in your 20's. You have to write up a long proposal/explanation regarding why you want the procedure.

As far as I know it's more complicated, more expensive, and more dangerous for a woman to have her tubes tied than for a man to get a vasectomy. Biology is a bitch, eh?

Yes! Just another reason it sucks more to be female. To get your tubes tied you actually have to be cut open a bit. Or you can have coils shoved into your tubes. No thanks.

Steppenwolf wrote:As far as I know it's more complicated, more expensive, and more dangerous for a woman to have her tubes tied than for a man to get a vasectomy. Biology is a bitch, eh?

Mine wasn't bad. Had it done after being treated for thyroid cancer, while I still had a medical card, so the procedure cost me nothing. Same day surgery, unconscious for about forty-five minutes. Mine was done laparoscopically--small incision made in my navel, tiny clamps attached to fallopian tubes, no external scar, and I was back on my feet the next day. Where I live, men and women can apply for free sterilization surgery at their local planned parenthood clinic and the procedure will be done on an out-patient basis at the local hospital. It's a hassle to get approval if you're under thirty or haven't had at least one child. I've always thought that was ridiculous--it should be harder to have children than to voluntarily refrain from having them.

No I don't have kids.

No I don't want to have kids.

If I were to have offspring I would be able to raise them a whole lot better than my parents raised me

I kind of just realized I don't want kids. My Sister has a 3 year old and he annoys the hell out of me. Don't get me wrong I love my nephew but a guy can only here the question why so many times in a row.
Now my other sister is pregnant.

The only thing I can think about is how I need to get out of this house

They both live in the same house as I do along with my father and twin brother

If you don't have children, do you want to become a parent?

I'm not exactly opposed, but not really for it either. I like kids for the most part, I don't like babies though. When I went to church, working with the kids on the Sunday bus route was all I really looked forward to.

EDIT: But yeah, I'm to responsible to bother buying a pet I can't afford. Ain't no way I'd take on a kid without all my ducks in a row.

If you don't have and don't want children, at what point did you realize that?

I knew I wouldn't get married or have children and told my mother so when I was 9 or 10. I've since amended that to 'I may get married, but probably not until I'm in my forties.' Of course that's a great big IF and a likelier NOT.

EDIT: I also used to say I'd get fixed. I have yet to do that, but my prospects for having sex with someone aren't exactly rich. So I'm in no rush.