Do I have SPD?

Hello (and sorry for my english, hope I can explain myself),

I'm new here, found this forum after some days of fighting myself with something that I've been carried for years.
I think I might have SDP, let me try to explain my situation: I'm 32 and as far as I remember I'm always been kind of introvert. During parties or social events I usually feel lonely among other people and I'm the kind of person that don't usually start a conversation, I'm more a listener than a speaker (although I become very talkative if I'm with people I consider "safe", don't know how to explain this point).
I suffered panic attacks 7 or 8 years ago but I guess I recovered from that with a therapist.
I usually don't care about other people and when I'm in a bad mood or stressing situation I tend to treat them very badly (I call this side of me "Scrooge", like the character in the Dickens' novel because that's how I behave).
I indulge in lonely activities, mostly playing single player videogames or online ones where you can still play alone and I don't feel so many emotions, the only recurrent one is anger, but I can't really say WHY I'm angry, I just feel it.
I have a long running relationship (with a lot of highs and lows) and although the sex is great, I mostly prefer to masturbate rather than have sex (I have sex one time a month usually).
I have a job, technically my dream job, but I'm starting losing passion for this and for everything else.

As far as I know these are all signs that I could have SPD or at least some schizoid personality, but lately this is becoming a problem and it looks like I'm starting to be aware of this problem and I want to solve it in some way because I feel I can achieve more in my life.

What do you think?
Sorry for the long post

Hello, and welcome to the forums!

Your English is very good.

Go to the Diagnostic Criteria thread at the top of the page and see how many of the traits apply to you. Even then, it's hard to tell since psychology is such an inexact science.

cmdrcouliflower wrote:lately this is becoming a problem and it looks like I'm starting to be aware of this problem and I want to solve it in some way because I feel I can achieve more in my life.

I don't know about others here, but getting a diagnosis will not solve the problem. There is no definitive cure for personality disorders, just ways of coping and keeping out of trouble (trouble with yourself and otherwise) and this is usually achieved with therapy. With a diagnosis, you might be tempted to accept your problems instead of trying to move forward despite them.

it sound like it spd but again diagnose is the only way to be sure try to exclude avoidance disorder.
also there are difference between liking to do something and wanting to do something in my experience found that i like to do a lot of stuff but don't want to actually do it.
finding a motive is really hard and diagnose or therapy wont change that the only thing i found work well kinda is habits turn whatever u want to do into a daily habit.