It's All Empty

When you have screwed things up beyond repair, nothing matters anymore.

I'm not depressed. I'm not happy. I'm just an it now.

Things that I thought were real problems were not psychological, just medical. Things that I thought could be psychologically resolved because of medical impact, now healthy, go back to hollow.

It's not even a hollow that needs to be filled. It's just mehness.

I thought I loved - but now I can't retrace that feeling.

I thought I hated - also can't retrace it.

Tracing outlines of emotions I remember having and now can't recall feeling.

I just sit in silence now and dislike being around others, having them notice me or touch me. It reminds me of how empty I feel and how I wasn't for a while.

Complete existential crisis.

IDeerInHeadlightsI wrote:When you have screwed things up beyond repair, nothing matters anymore.

I'm not depressed. I'm not happy. I'm just an it now.

Things that I thought were real problems were not psychological, just medical. Things that I thought could be psychologically resolved because of medical impact, now healthy, go back to hollow.

It's not even a hollow that needs to be filled. It's just mehness.

I thought I loved - but now I can't retrace that feeling.

I thought I hated - also can't retrace it.

Tracing outlines of emotions I remember having and now can't recall feeling.

I just sit in silence now and dislike being around others, having them notice me or touch me. It reminds me of how empty I feel and how I wasn't for a while.

Complete existential crisis.

I've noticed some emotional numbing in the past few years. I still love kitty. But people? I don't know how that's possible.