Praise, critisism and feelings

Now that I've given it a thought, I perhaps do appear somewhat indifferent to praise and crisisim. Not that I didn't care, i just don't know how to react. Obviously average people are able to recognize their emotions simultaneously and act accorcingly, socially. My best solution is to take my time and analyze what happened within me. If critisized, I start thinking that there must be a point, since such information was given. (Now, people don't say things they don't mean or do stuff for no reason, do they? Yes, amazingly they do, and that complicates interaction a lot.) Also I feel something vaguely recognizable, like being annoyed. But to react aggressively? If the person is giving a constructive piece of advice? Or does she/he mean to insult me after all? You never know. Best to shut up and start inner processing. After an hour, or two, or some days perhaps, I can explain my point of view. I may give a report of the feelings I believe I experienced or respond for example by defending those acts critisized. Or by admitting my undeniable shortcomings. Seems I've done a plenty of apologizing in my life, by the way. I preferably give such feedback by e-mail to make sure my expressions are formulated well enough to fulfill the informative purposes. I suspect that may feel odd to others as well.

Praise, then. I usually know I deserve it, so not much point for excessive gratitude there. It could also be a matter of flattering, which isn't worth much responding either. Besides people tend to get emotional when they give such remarks. All the sudden they may even hug you. And there you are, surprised by an attack of human bonding, just waiting they would calm down a bit so you can politely say "thank you" and such, things they expect. Rather uncomfortable a situation.

That significant other of mine says I spend (suspiciously?) lot of time processing my feelings and umm, emotions (supposing they qualify as such). Sure i do, how else am I supposed to understand them, and - more importantly - behavioral causalities between mankind and my mind? I don't see a contradiction with that and being a schizoid. How about you - feel like not feeling at all, or having a hard time dealing with emotion-like things apparently living somewhere beyond consciousness?

I'm very much the same. I'm more or less indifferent to praise, but tend to take criticism more seriously. In both cases I will analyze the situation for a long time. I never respond emotionally, with joy, anger or get hurt, but I might get frustrated, and because I usually don't know how to respond to either praise or criticism, people who praise me see me as rude and people who criticizes tends to think I'm silent because I'm angry or hurt.

A poor example, but I'm playing a competitive football manager game online with two online friends and whenever we play against each other they say things like "Good luck". I just can't bring myself to say "Thanks, you too", because I know they are not sincere and I know I would be insincere too if I replied politely. So I just ignore them and they automatically think I'm very rude.

I don't get the meaningless phrases that most people spew out, and the fact that they are blatantly lying most of time, for whatever reason, annoys me greatly. I don't want to be a part of that charade, so if my silence seems rude then so be it.

When someone praises me I go like "yaay" but with a ton load of sarcasm in my tone, and when it comes to criticism I simply say "ok" and has a somewhat stupid look on my face. But no one ever criticises me; least not my famly. I would say that my family is very afraid of criticising one and other because then that person might get uppset or sad. Everything HAS to be fine! If it isn't fine, then ignore it.

Like, my mother knows I'm poor when it comes to taking care of my home, vacuum cleaning, doing dishes etc., and when ever she's noticed that it is dirty/flithy and next time it is clean, then she Must say, "oh, how good you are". I know this is a bad example, but still.

To me praise is a way of making someone feel more valuable than they are by saying something very nice and upplifting. But to be honest, do people really think they are that much better because they acctually DID something? We do things because we CAN, and why so much fuzzle about doing something we can do? Sure enough, I can say I like something that someone else has done, but I wouldn't go further than saying: I like it.. that's not a praise; is it?

About criticism. It is intended to give constructive, criticismic (not a true word), advices from a certain point of view. This is the one people Should give eachother, in order to improve them selves. But many takes it the wrong way and may get insulted because they believe the've done such a good job.

Mostly I know when I've done something I should've or shouldn't have done. There is no need to comment about that. A half finished job is not a job well done. So? I know this. A job done, but lacks optimizing, is still a job done, but one that could be fine-tuned.

Personaly I don't understand why there is such a need to be botherd by criticism and praising. All I need to hear is if the job is done, and/or what needs to be improved. That's it! Everything else added are just a hindrance to me understanding what the heck that person really wants from me.

Im mostly indifferent but not always.
Criticism is what affects me the most. Putting loads of time into something and then getting negative feedback from some asshole makes me wanna kill something and play around with it's blood.

Praise almost never "reach" me. And when it does, its a feeling that passes by way too fast.

Praise and criticism both annoy me. Criticism moreso. Like AL being criticized makes me want to kill.

I used to not know how to react to praise or criticism, especially criticism, but now I do.

When I am praised, ("Oh Aphid, you look so cute in that outfit.") I simply say "thanks". Inwardly though I'm going, "Why do you feel the need to comment on it? I don't care about your opinion. I didn't dress for you."

When I am critisized I either turn it around on the other person:

asshole: "Aphid, you should exercise more. It's not healthy to sit around all day."
response: "Well, look at you, slabass. It looks like you should exercise more. Who are you to criticize me?"

Usually though, I simply ask "Why do you care?":

asshole: "Aphid, you look like a bum today."
response: "So what?! Why do you care what I look like? It shouldn't affect you."

I used to just ignore criticism but it didn't ######6 work! Not reacting makes people think you're a passive doormat. They just nagged at me more and more.

Both criticism and advice can be given either for recreational purposes or for genuine reasons. I've learned to distinguish between them by facial expression, body language, and voice qualities. When it is done for recreational reasons the head is often thrown back, perhaps turned slightly to the side, the eye brows raised, some times the eyes are unnaturally wide open. The voice takes on a sing-song quality with aspirated "I" and "you" and in English it often starts with an aspirated "Well!" In short, it has all the qualities we saw in our classmates during their adolescent narcissism phase.

Real criticism and advice are usually given humbly. I still don't like the real kind of criticism but if I really am bothering someone it is probably best to know it. Friendly advice is actually welcome.

I don't mind praise, and I don't care much for criticism. I'm fine with praise overall.. not that I feel I deserve it or need it anytime I do something good, but I think it is a nice thing to compliment people. If I think someone was attractive, or they did something good, I would be fine complimenting them and I think it's nice to... not that I ever do I'd never actually go up to someone and do it, but if I was outgoing then I would. If they are close to me and I have talked to them then I will. I don't like white lies though. If someone compliments me I want it to be honest and truthful. I don't need to be told something looks good when it doesn't. I don't like any kind of lies.

For criticism, it doesn't affect me overly where I dwell on it and think something is wrong with me. However I do not like it. I don't think it's anyones business on how or what I do and they have no right to tell me. If it is something I'm trying to fix and I don't know how then if I ask I don't mind people letting me know, or having a little constructive criticism. I usually don't like it though unless I ask, because there is always a chance maybe I don't want it better or maybe I like it the way it is, I don't need their opinions and I don't care about them either. If it's bad criticism their only wasting their breath and being irritating.

I used to be bothered as hell by criticism--it was as though I wanted everyone to like me.

When I got a little older I realised that:

1) If people like you they will want to spend time with you
2) If you put up a false front to get on with people then they don't like the 'real' you anyway
3) I look at the source. Do you really WANT some of the people in the world to like you? Some people liking me would be insulting, quite frankly.

I've also learned to just take the world as it is in terms of taste. I just won't be what some people find appealing just as many people don't appeal to me.

Praise only bothers me when I think the person is out for something. If I think it's a genuine compliment then I just say, "Thank you."

i find praise discomforting, because a) i don't like the attention and b) it just means i did something i was supposed to do. i don't need the help of positive reinforcement to repeat the pattern.

generally, criticism doesn't bother me as much. i don't like the attention of that either, but if it's useful, i'll use it, and if it isn't, i'll ignore it.