Low Energy in Social Situations

I've found that in interacting with people, I experience very low energy in relation to how I present myself and respond to them.

For example, last week I met a new client for work. As we were talking, it occurred to me, as always, that I seemed to be putting in a minimum of effort in regard to how I dealt with the whole situation. There were questions I could have answered more clearly, questions I forgot to ask, and a general feeling of apathy regarding how I felt I was being perceived. Not good. Drumming up business is important right now, and it's important that I make a good impression.

But I was doing the best I could.

This is something that occurs, to varying degrees, with most of the people I interact with. When faced with these (or any) kind of social situations, I feel sluggish and unmotivated. I feel like I don't hold myself as rigidly and/or properly as I should. Nor could, but should.

It could be called social apathy, brought on by a lack of energy. For me, energy is the key word, because it seems that in these situations, I'm not as cognizant as I could be, but it seems like too much effort to break out of the haze I'm in. Another way to describe it would be comparing it to people who are NOT morning people: the kind of person who wakes up and can't deal with anyone until their coffee has kicked in. I seem to be in that state whenever I have to deal with people; the feeling that you need to shake your head or slap yourself in the face to "come to" and be more present.

Who can relate to this?

I've experienced similar - although maybe not the same

I experienced it when I was on high doses of antipsychotics.

As well as high doses of lithium.

I've wondered if, at times, it was a result of "negative" schizo symptoms

I've experienced it after isolating too long

Nowadays, I experience it when I have to be available for others for too long and I'm worn down, burnt out and not having enough enjoyment and payoff in my life.
^
That being said, I am an introvert, so do people drain me and are a lot of work.

If I can't retreat, I find other ways of "shutting off" despite myself - including becoming "sluggish and unmotivated"

For me, it's more about ending up with a flat affect and listlessness and mind fuzziness at that point and becoming semi-involuntarily disengaged.

My psychologist says I have so much $#%^ going on that I drain out faster than most people because I'm practically "leaking" energy all the time anyways.

She says to be less animated in general (lower people's expectations) so that people don't become confused or upset when I go empty

yes. mine seems to be a sliding scale. as in the more people, noise, and just overall incoming information then the more sluggish i become. i've always considered it a dissociative tactic to deal with oversensitivity to stimulus. in large gatherings i have gotten to the point where i feel like my eyes are closing on their own. not tired, just like i'm retreating back into my head. not present. my movements are sluggish. i shuffle my feet.

Oh I absolutely cannot summon the motivation to make small talk at any time.

Yes, definitely. Especially when I have spent the previous 24+ hours alone. It's like I take awhile to warm up in social situations, more so with people I am less comfortable or familiar with. I have been told that I seem preoccupied or uncooperative.

Context: I have high functioning autism, depersonalization disorder and possible schizoid/avoidant personality disorder (or tendencies).

Oblivion wrote:... Drumming up business is important right now, and it's important that I make a good impression.

But I was doing the best I could.

It could be called social apathy, brought on by a lack of energy. For me, energy is the key word, ...

Who can relate to this?

I absolutely can. You might consider trying organic raw cacao nibs. Relatively expensive but you won't need much. Expect to feel like a termite chewing on bitter wood chips and you won't be disappointed, but two or three carefully-timed mounds each the size of a quarter give me superhuman energy and endurance. If I go overboard (as I am wont to do), I can get heart palpitations and have to "come down" by eating four slices of quality cheddar cheese, but they don't do a number on me like coke or even speed (which used to be my friend).

If these work for you, you will need to brush your teeth before meeting clients, lest your grin reveal hunks of black stuff between your teeth. TMI, but I like to let people know what they're getting into. Good luck.

Cholls wrote:You might consider trying organic raw cacao nibs. Relatively expensive but you won't need much. Expect to feel like a termite chewing on bitter wood chips and you won't be disappointed, but two or three carefully-timed mounds each the size of a quarter give me superhuman energy and endurance. If I go overboard (as I am wont to do), I can get heart palpitations and have to "come down" by eating four slices of quality cheddar cheese, but they don't do a number on me like coke or even speed (which used to be my friend).

If these work for you, you will need to brush your teeth before meeting clients, lest your grin reveal hunks of black stuff between your teeth. TMI, but I like to let people know what they're getting into. Good luck.

I use butter. Half a stick of butter will make me feel like a fully charged electric toothbrush.

Oblivion wrote:I use butter. Half a stick of butter will make me feel like a fully charged electric toothbrush.

Good to know. The right amount of energy can make a job interview/client meeting. I call it "getting in character".

Oblivion wrote:I've found that in interacting with people, I experience very low energy in relation to how I present myself and respond to them.

For example, last week I met a new client for work. As we were talking, it occurred to me, as always, that I seemed to be putting in a minimum of effort in regard to how I dealt with the whole situation. There were questions I could have answered more clearly, questions I forgot to ask, and a general feeling of apathy regarding how I felt I was being perceived. Not good. Drumming up business is important right now, and it's important that I make a good impression.

But I was doing the best I could.

This is something that occurs, to varying degrees, with most of the people I interact with. When faced with these (or any) kind of social situations, I feel sluggish and unmotivated. I feel like I don't hold myself as rigidly and/or properly as I should. Nor could, but should.

It could be called social apathy, brought on by a lack of energy. For me, energy is the key word, because it seems that in these situations, I'm not as cognizant as I could be, but it seems like too much effort to break out of the haze I'm in. Another way to describe it would be comparing it to people who are NOT morning people: the kind of person who wakes up and can't deal with anyone until their coffee has kicked in. I seem to be in that state whenever I have to deal with people; the feeling that you need to shake your head or slap yourself in the face to "come to" and be more present.

Who can relate to this?

I relate. Its not just with people that I find it difficult to muster interest /energy but with most things in life. Few things motivate me emotionally or physically. I look back on activities I used to find the energy to engage in and am amazed that I was ever like that. I cannot imagine the kind of conversations I must have had, or the motivation, to have sought certain adventures over the years. I could say I have become anhedonic except I do appreciate a great t.v. series and recently was motivated, emotionally, to rescue a small dog running helter skelter on a dangerous road. I was motivated enough to risk causing an accident by stopping on a dangerous bend and cause traffic to stop as I ran after him, and managed to get him in my car. I am stuck with him now, and cannot put in much energy to find his owner. But I am getting a kick out of understanding his nature. There is a battle of wits going on that is much more appealing than any human engagement. Its weird how every time I give up on life a stray animal comes my way and it eeks out a little something I still have left to give.
Energy IS the key word. Therefore I think it is useful to think about what does energise or motivate one, if anything, rather than dwell on why one cannot find the energy to engage in what most others can do effortlessly. Perhaps other people are less sincere and it takes less out of them to relate in a superficial way to others for the sake of business, work, socially etc..
Perhaps the schizoid is not motivated enough by self interest... who knows.
Another thing I find is when I am angry I have plenty of energy with which to engage with others. I find it an easier energy to expend than superficial politeness.

I don't have an issue with low energy. For me it's the opposite that's the problem.

It's like I just don't have the time to sit and converse with people. It all seems to take too long.

Plus I don't really feel a great desire to talk anyway.

And I make the worst first impression.