So my grandma died and I dont feel a thing...

...and now I have to listen to my moms annoying sobbing/crying and all her repeated flashback stories.

This is... very socially unacceptable ofc - I know that. Im supposed to grief this lady because Im related to her. It's whats "normal" after all. Im supposed to go to the hospital, look at her and say something, and then Im supposed to go to her funeral, right? Thing is I just feel that I dont wanna have anything to do with this. I don't wanna meet any crying aunt/uncle, telling them how sorry I am when Im really not. I feel the same to most social situations (all schizoids do) - that I DONT wanna have anything to do with it. I want to be left alone.

I haven't had a good relation to her (met her maybe once per year, and she never seemed interested in me and my brother) so that might be one reason that I don't care (the other being that Im schizoid). I only truly care about the core family: my parents and my siblings... so it's something at least.

Purpose of this thread? I dunno.

The purpose of your thread is that it is informative and can allow people to relate to you; and you to them. I, for example, never feel emotion at funerals. The one that surprised me the most was my cousin's funeral. He died in a car accident at the age of 22 or 23 at Christmas Time and, you can imagine the amount of tears shed at that. Anyway, I never felt any sadness. At my uncle's funeral, I felt nothing either. He died of a 'massive heart attack'.

I am not schizoid, but I suspect that I have Asperger's syndrome.

Take care,
Kevin.

Same with me...my grandma died when I was 16 and felt nothing. I did almost start to cry at the funeral though, when the preacher was recounting stories about her. It was like she was a made up person then and it was sort of sad that the fictional story person had died. That probably doesn't make sense.

I have two other grandparents that are getting old and will probably die soon. I really don't care either. Sometimes if my folks call me at weird times I think, oh I bet one of them died and $#%^ I don't have anything to wear to a damn funeral and I don't want to drive all that way or see my folks...yadda yadda yadda. I'm always relieved they're still alive, just because of how much trouble I'd have to go through otherwise.

My grandmother and both my parents are all gone. All suffered from long illness, especially my grandmother. It was a relief for all concerned when they died. I felt almost nothing. The worst part was recovering from the funerals - all the friends and relatives coming from all over the country. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of humanity

Yeah, well, at least you don't have to go to a wedding on sunday. Ugh.

It's a good thing that you do care about your core faimily, maybe your soul is not totally dead yet.

[EDIT] Nevermind.

When i receive calls at night , i am also afraid to hear that sobebody in the family just died, i am afraid because i know that i couldn't react the way i am supposed to.


Hematemesis Melena: Sorry but i have nothing to tell about my childhood, it was deseperately normal, no loss in the family, not even a pet, nothing happened to me, i didn't break a leg or an harm, had no problem at school....

Artificial Lifeform wrote:...and now I have to listen to my moms annoying sobbing/crying and all her repeated flashback stories.

This is... very socially unacceptable ofc - I know that. Im supposed to grief this lady because Im related to her. It's whats "normal" after all. Im supposed to go to the hospital, look at her and say something, and then Im supposed to go to her funeral, right? Thing is I just feel that I dont wanna have anything to do with this. I don't wanna meet any crying aunt/uncle, telling them how sorry I am when Im really not. I feel the same to most social situations (all schizoids do) - that I DONT wanna have anything to do with it. I want to be left alone.

I haven't had a good relation to her (met her maybe once per year, and she never seemed interested in me and my brother) so that might be one reason that I don't care (the other being that Im schizoid). I only truly care about the core family: my parents and my siblings... so it's something at least.

Purpose of this thread? I dunno.

I hate all social gatherings period.

I do not make myself go to any of them anymore unless it is core family and holidays. I dont make myself go to my in-laws anymore.
I dont care what they think, I have made myself go, and now I dont put myself through hell just for other people sake.

I have lost all grandparents except one. I wont cry or feel anything when he goes.

The only funeral that mattered is losing my dad last fall. I loved my dad and he and I are alot alike. Core family is it for me too.

I hope your mothers grief does not bother you to much.

red

I only feel real grief for those with whom I have formed an attachment . Blood kin has little to do with this. I felt sad when my little brother, my second husband, my friend Doc, and many of my favorite pets have died. I cried over these souls.
Many relatives have died, such as my aunt and uncle, my mother, my father, my cousin, my grandparents, but the most I've felt is about as sad as if my car died. No, I felt much worse when my beloved Subaru died!
I don't fret too much about this. I do think about the departed, and miss them a little. But no big wrenching grief, for which I am grateful to be this schizoid.