Anyone Like Being Isolated?

iwillsteal wrote:I think we all require interaction; without interaction, we cannot exist for long. In fact, without interaction, we cannot exist at all. Without interaction neglected, unstimulated, children in orphanages begin to rock repeatedly. Without interaction prisoners and victims of torture in solitary confinement slowly lose all perspective as to who or what they are. Studies have revealed their brains shrink. We may retreat; we may withdraw from others, we may have no desire to interact 'directly'; but we have the luxury of interacting 'indirectly'; a forum is one way. In the film 'Shadowlands' a student of C.S. Lewis, comes to answer the question posed by the author 'Why do we read'? He quotes his father; 'We read to know we are not alone''. We might say the same as to why we write...or why we listen to the music, or why we watch a drama unfold on our t.v. screens. The author Kafka after long periods of isolation in his room came to desire human interaction when his solitude became unbearable; 'on those days' he wrote 'I long for an arm...any arm...to bring me back into sway with the rythmn of humanity'. I am taking the words from memory; these are not accurate quotes. But my point is this; we may want to immerse ourselves in solitude; but sooner or later, we all come up for air. It is just a question of when.

I agree.

Would anyone care to define "interaction"?

We may retreat; we may withdraw from others, we may have no desire to interact 'directly'; but we have the luxury of interacting 'indirectly';

But the maladaptive about me is when i prefer the indirect instead of the direct .
and at the same time i hate it and have resentment over the fact that i want direct but i want to avoid it or all direct feels boring.
the ideal would be a direct that feels good.why is that so difficult to exist

naps wrote:

iwillsteal wrote:I think we all require interaction; without interaction, we cannot exist for long. In fact, without interaction, we cannot exist at all. Without interaction neglected, unstimulated, children in orphanages begin to rock repeatedly. Without interaction prisoners and victims of torture in solitary confinement slowly lose all perspective as to who or what they are. Studies have revealed their brains shrink. We may retreat; we may withdraw from others, we may have no desire to interact 'directly'; but we have the luxury of interacting 'indirectly'; a forum is one way. In the film 'Shadowlands' a student of C.S. Lewis, comes to answer the question posed by the author 'Why do we read'? He quotes his father; 'We read to know we are not alone''. We might say the same as to why we write...or why we listen to the music, or why we watch a drama unfold on our t.v. screens. The author Kafka after long periods of isolation in his room came to desire human interaction when his solitude became unbearable; 'on those days' he wrote 'I long for an arm...any arm...to bring me back into sway with the rythmn of humanity'. I am taking the words from memory; these are not accurate quotes. But my point is this; we may want to immerse ourselves in solitude; but sooner or later, we all come up for air. It is just a question of when.

I agree.

Would anyone care to define "interaction"?

I. Preferring interactions with animals over those with humans, my partner (I'm speaking for him because he dislikes online forums) might define an interaction as a positive, reciprocal exchange between living creatures.

When they feel secure, rabbits, birds, cats, dogs, foxes, and other animals (I saw an imgur video clip of a big orange fish accepting petting!) exhibit awareness, personality, even ego! Many times, I have had the distinct feeling that the only thing preventing some of them from speaking human language was the structure of their mouths and vocal cords.

When displeased, instead of, "Say it with flowers.", they will, "Say it with urine or feces.". They can't give the finger because most don't have ones long enough. I wonder if anyone who has befriended an ape or monkey has taught them obscene hand gestures.

II. Then, there is the intra-/inter-human interaction. Involving the transmission of idea(s) even over great spatial (email, etc.) and temporal (works of art, music, architecture, books) expanse. The intra-human interaction might happen deliberately via a sealed letter to oneself in the future, or accidentally, seeing something one wrote years before and rediscovering a forgotten idea.

I think the key thing with any interaction (I or II) would be injecting something new into our mental habits. Something to cause a 'mutation' in our hermetically sealed mental domes.

HowlPendragon wrote:

. . .
the ideal would be a direct that feels good.why is that so difficult to exist

Dunno, but when I have high expectations regarding a direct interaction, especially something I have visualized ahead of time, the more clearly I have visualized it, the more the real thing will bomb.

Cholls wrote:[' in our hermetically sealed mental domes.

HowlPendragon wrote:

. . .
the ideal would be a direct that feels good.why is that so difficult to exist

Dunno, but when I have high expectations regarding a direct interaction, especially something I have visualized ahead of time, the more clearly I have visualized it, the more the real thing will bomb.

Like narcissists feel uncomfortable with intimacy because they can't control others.i read about it the other day.
They prefer to be alone and unloved than lose their control and perfection.
I don't have expectations.it just feels uncomfortable and i want to avoid it.
I don't know why i feel uncomfortable and i can relate in some extent since i am not narcissistic ,i don't put others down nor i make them feel bad for no reason.like narcissists .
Nor i want to control them.
I think others want to control me and if they can't they will leave.so i prefer to leave first

HowlPendragon wrote:Like narcissists feel uncomfortable with intimacy because they can't control others.i read about it the other day.
They prefer to be alone and unloved than lose their control and perfection.
I don't have expectations.it just feels uncomfortable and i want to avoid it.
I don't know why i feel uncomfortable and i can relate in some extent since i am not narcissistic ,i don't put others down nor i make them feel bad for no reason.like narcissists .
Nor i want to control them.
I think others want to control me and if they can't they will leave.so i prefer to leave first

In contrast to those times when I've been nervous and have had high expectations, whenever I haven't given a $ hit and have been relaxed, I've always . always had a great time, regardless of who else was present.

Could it be? A human interaction can only be as good as the best mood/person involved in it.

Coming from The House of Mental Torture, I have always instinctively sought beatific people (yes, they exist), and have had more than my share as dear friends. I am a recovering RSS hole. Yet have had wonderful times, direct interactions warmed by wiser, kinder friends.

When someone fully accepts themselves, the feeling of acceptance is palpable. Those around them stop performing, come out of hiding, get comfortable. Just hanging out and saying nothing.

probably most personality disorders have problems with intimacy.or even people who have attachment problems have problems with it.
most of the times i am the one who makes others feel comfortable you know when i talk.or always tries to make them feel nice.nessecery for jobs.
that doesn't mean though that i can't switch it on and off .i can appear perfectly functioning but end up in general avoidance.
i guess i have met kind people and i have met assholes.that didn't change my problem with intimacy deep down

I am beginning to like this forum really..about this thread=isolation=is it really possible to isolate ourselves totally from the consumer society we are forced to live in?or shall i go to the Himalayas and live in a cave? in my opinion isolation is a choice we take because we do not feel good in our own skin==the past,assholes,pressure of society,interaction,financial burdens,people trying to control our life patterns,and so on...isolation is positive if we can take the pressure within ourself,but if we cannot deal with the isolation issues it can lead to low self esteem,
loneliness,fears for the unexpected,anger,anxiety,remorse...does isolation leads to self control,safety,avoidance,neglecting?i do like the entries of smirks,square donut,I absurd.. and in fact all of you..a forum seems often like confessions,comparing,advice or whatever..to the op i would say this=live your own life,avoid situations which can upset your way of thinking,learn to develop a certain degree of willpower and determination within yourself without advice of other people..i could say much more but for the time being that's my 2 cents here on this issue...my motto=if you love the life you live,you will live a life of love..end quote(ahah)

Squaredonutwheels wrote:Keep us updated what values you forge for yourself in your solitude. I'd be interested to know them.

Me? What do you mean?