I Want To Be A Bitch

Not a bully but not so very kind and nice. I think if you're too complacent, the majority will pick at you.

Since I'm apparently not owed politeness, I feel as if I don't owe my politeness.

Being polite can get you killed. There are nice people get raped and kidnapped because they were being nice.

I think being cold, silent, and aloof will help me establish good boundaries. That way the "counselors" and other idiots won't be able to sink their claws into me.

Can anyone relate?

Consistent boundaries are important. What will you do though if someone crosses them and being silent won't do?

One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't tell several people to f*** off.

I don't mean men, a MeToo thing, in fact I mean mainly women. Women who have annoyed me, talked down to me, crossed boundaries and I stood there like an idiot either not knowing what to say, or being afraid to assert myself. Like, what's the worst thing that would have happened?

Sometimes, being too "nice" comes across as bland and boring. I used to think if I'm just "nice" and smiling, people will like me. They didn't. I probably didn't blabber enough. Oh well.

Yes I have been way too nice. I have been the dutiful daughter, subservient, caring warm hearted servant of racial and gender causes. It just annoyed people. They said why are you so easily swayed? Why are you such a people pleaser?

But I think if you told people to f off it would just escalate. They would stoop to newer and newer lows. They're just way nastier than I could ever be. So I stay in control.

CityMouse wrote:Not a bully but not so very kind and nice. I think if you're too complacent, the majority will pick at you.

Since I'm apparently not owed politeness, I feel as if I don't owe my politeness.

Being polite can get you killed. There are nice people get raped and kidnapped because they were being nice.

I think being cold, silent, and aloof will help me establish good boundaries. That way the "counselors" and other idiots won't be able to sink their claws into me.

Can anyone relate?

It can't be all or nothing. There's a time to be a bitch and a time to be more receptive to other people and their ideas. It's a difficult balance. You learn through experience and intuition.

CityMouse wrote:Not a bully but not so very kind and nice. I think if you're too complacent, the majority will pick at you.

Since I'm apparently not owed politeness, I feel as if I don't owe my politeness.

Being polite can get you killed. There are nice people get raped and kidnapped because they were being nice.

I think being cold, silent, and aloof will help me establish good boundaries. That way the "counselors" and other idiots won't be able to sink their claws into me.

Can anyone relate?

You sound resentful about it. When resentful people act cold and aloof they think they are being assertive but actually come across as pouty and sulky.

Squaredonutwheels wrote:

CityMouse wrote:Not a bully but not so very kind and nice. I think if you're too complacent, the majority will pick at you.

Since I'm apparently not owed politeness, I feel as if I don't owe my politeness.

Being polite can get you killed. There are nice people get raped and kidnapped because they were being nice.

I think being cold, silent, and aloof will help me establish good boundaries. That way the "counselors" and other idiots won't be able to sink their claws into me.

Can anyone relate?

You sound resentful about it. When resentful people act cold and aloof they think they are being assertive but actually come across as pouty and sulky.

Yeah that's crap. It's not nice. I was just angry for a minute. I'm better now.

Actually, I rather enjoy being aggressively nice, because it's different, and it forces people to act differently towards you. Nice doesn't have to mean subservient.

smirks wrote:Actually, I rather enjoy being aggressively nice, because it's different, and it forces people to act differently towards you. Nice doesn't have to mean subservient.

I quite enjoy being nice too. It usually forces people to think about their next action and can calm things down very quickly. I am the type of person to avoid a fight at any cost so that might explain it.

I want to be human Teflon & a master of emotional aikido.

My rage and anger towards humanity is back.