I Want To Be A Bitch

I can relate. I have vengeful fantasies where I'm the top dog and everyone falls in line. But the few times I have gotten angry (after being encouraged to by people who I thought were my friends), it escalated and escalated and I lost. Sometimes it even got violent.

All in all, I think the jerks of the world are miserable. I see a lot of weakness, insecurity, and deep pain underneath the bravado. There is nothing in that struggle for spd's to envy or aspire to.

Some people may dislike people saying no to them but saying no and standing your ground isn't a bitch even if they call you one. If they do that's simply them pouting and possibly trying to guilt you. Do it enough times and they'll visit you as little as possible.

iabsurdlyexist wrote:I think I mentioned this before but my psychologist said most of his patients are angry and that I am a bit of fresh air. I wonder if I should be more angry about things. I imagine anger as fuel though. I think I'd need to find something to do with it.

It's not a fuel. It's a fire. And the things you do with it are mostly never ever good.

CityMouse wrote:I can relate. I have vengeful fantasies where I'm the top dog and everyone falls in line. But the few times I have gotten angry (after being encouraged to by people who I thought were my friends), it escalated and escalated and I lost. Sometimes it even got violent.

All in all, I think the jerks of the world are miserable. I see a lot of weakness, insecurity, and deep pain underneath the bravado. There is nothing in that struggle for spd's to envy or aspire to.

Holodeck wrote:Some people may dislike people saying no to them but saying no and standing your ground isn't a bitch even if they call you one. If they do that's simply them pouting and possibly trying to guilt you. Do it enough times and they'll visit you as little as possible.

Trust. No. One.

naps wrote:

iabsurdlyexist wrote:I think I mentioned this before but my psychologist said most of his patients are angry and that I am a bit of fresh air. I wonder if I should be more angry about things. I imagine anger as fuel though. I think I'd need to find something to do with it.

It's not a fuel. It's a fire. And the things you do with it are mostly never ever good.

I think of it more like the situation that causes anger to be the fire and anger to be gasoline. So in a way, it's fuel but it won't likely lead to anything good.

naps wrote:

CityMouse wrote:But the few times I have gotten angry (after being encouraged to by people who I thought were my friends), it escalated and escalated and I lost. Sometimes it even got violent.

Were these times with people fantasy? I'm sorry you have to put up with this either way. I used to be a lot like this until I moved.

CityMouse wrote:All in all, I think the jerks of the world are miserable. I see a lot of weakness, insecurity, and deep pain underneath the bravado. There is nothing in that struggle for spd's to envy or aspire to.

I see it as they have all of that due to needing to feel better about themselves whereas we simply get tired of them and their crap when we witness them making ours or even their lives harder. If it's any consolation, even the ones who are grandiose likely hate themselves too.

naps wrote:Trust. No. One.

I'm not sure whether this is meant for Citymouse, myself or both. To whomever it's meant, I agree. Even if they have your best interest at heart, people tend not to think things through or they'll often assume things incorrectly. Most times they take things as attacks when told they're wrong too. I hate to sound paranoid but I don't think it's unreasonable to prepare yourself to deal with bs.

very good postings and reflections in this tread..i deeply appreciate it..
how do we define our inner life?it cannot be defined easily..is it the thoughts,imaginations, emotions, and values that occupy our minds when we are alone with ourself?me for myself i feel at ease on my own,but i notice more and more my thinking goes into deeper emotions,
desires,love,being pensive,thinking about the purpose of life?people who find solitude enjoy the beauty of life if they consider it beautiful..because the real essential part of their experience may lead towards a rich inner life..often life becomes to complicated because of circumstances we do not have a grip on,be it emotional,spiritual,bodily or just daily life...if we wanna live in a better world we often have to start with ourself and say==###$ this crazy world...i live my life like i wanna live it...sometimes we enter into dilemma's then because we belong to the system==the system who tell us to pay our taxes,obey the rules of society,in fact belong to the rat race of life...nobody of us can escape it since it is the way society forces us to live...i wished it could be different,my friends.how do we define our inner life?it cannot be defined easily..is it the thoughts,imaginations, emotions, and values that occupy our minds when we are alone with ourself?me for myself i feel at ease on my own,but i notice more and more my thinking goes into deeper emotions,desires,

love,being pensive,thinking about the purpose of life?people who find solitude enjoy the beauty of life if they consider it beautiful..because the real essential part of their experience may lead towards a rich inner life..often life becomes to complicated because of circumstances we do not have a grip on,be it emotional,spiritual,bodily or just daily life...if we wanna live in a better world we often have to start with ourself and say==###$ this crazy world...i live my life like i wanna live it...sometimes we enter into dilemma's then because we belong to the system==the system who tell us to pay our taxes,obey the rules of society,in fact belong to the rat race of life...nobody of us can escape it since it is the way society forces us to live...i wished it could be different,my friends..very often..life is a bitch,willing nilling,is it not?

https://youtu.be/gt4G4NVgp_4

i believe...music touches our brains,our inner life,feelings,the way we approach life..
i lived my life..for a long time now...I am an older dude...call me a survivor(ahah)
https://youtu.be/XpqjEnRU6uM

https://youtu.be/1tGO1Y4FGpI