How Do You Feel About People?

by **naps** » Sat Sep 08, 2018 11:42 am

Holodeck wrote:There's also of course the attempt at becoming something better by acting as if the person is already their idealized image of themselves until if/when they finally become whatever that image is.

I don't think it's ever possible to become an idealized image of yourself, although it's easy to trick yourself into believing you have.

emillionth wrote:
smirks wrote:I think that you are probably a little more cynical than I am.

Probably.

Do you think that sincere thoughts or feelings have to be selfish in nature?

Not necessarily. The drunk who tells you "I love you, man" is probably being very sincere (he's not making a lot of sense or being very meaningful, but... sincere nonetheless). And he'll buy you a beer just because.

I'd say "self-focused" rather than "selfish". Maybe you feel like helping someone. Then it's sincere if you do help them. Maybe you don't feel like it, but willingly decide to help them anyway. Then maybe it's out of sincere consideration, but still, there'll be a certain distance added between you and the act. And then if you express or imply that you're gladly doing it (and not that you're willfully making the effort to do something you'd rather not do), I think that's "insincere" (quotation marks because the word has a negative connotation that I'm not actually implying here).

I think that I'm very sincerely not a self-focused person, except for the fact that I need alone time. My interest in service and helping people is 100% authentic and sincere. I get something emotionally from being of service to others that is unrelated to being thanked or having a relationship. It's not often that I experience not wanting to help others.

by **Holodeck** » Sat Sep 08, 2018 10:36 pm

naps wrote:
Holodeck wrote:There's also of course the attempt at becoming something better by acting as if the person is already their idealized image of themselves until if/when they finally become whatever that image is.

I don't think it's ever possible to become an idealized image of yourself, although it's easy to trick yourself into believing you have.

I don't actually believe so either nor do I know why I wrote it as an if/when.

I still stand by my comment that a person acting like how a they want to be will help them possibly become more like how they want.

That's really all CBT is for the most part anyway.

by **naps** » Sat Sep 08, 2018 10:49 pm

Holodeck wrote:That's really all CBT is for the most part anyway.

I can't get CBT with my insurance.

Do you (or anybody) know of any places online that explain the basic tenets of CBT in a way that I may be able to apply them to my life and benefit from them, if even marginally?

by **CityMouse** » Sun Sep 09, 2018 12:09 am

naps wrote:
Holodeck wrote:That's really all CBT is for the most part anyway.

I can't get CBT with my insurance.

Do you (or anybody) know of any places online that explain the basic tenets of CBT in a way that I may be able to apply them to my life and benefit from them, if even marginally?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gsapYpRJ6I

by **naps** » Sun Sep 09, 2018 12:18 am

Thank you, I will watch that.

by **emillionth** » Sun Sep 09, 2018 12:32 am

CityMouse wrote:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gsapYpRJ6I

That's a pretty good summary.

When you look at (philosophical) stoicism, it's interesting to see how there are influential books written about it by both a slave and an emperor. Goes to show how the philosophy really is about taking this principle seriously and putting it into practice: "don't let it get to you / don't let it go to you head". And yeah, it doesn't help that psychology tends to present itself as "the scientific thing, as opposed to outdated mystical things like religions and such", when it's pretty much just a reframing/continuation of ancient ideas. Stoicism, Buddhism, and the like.

by **iabsurdlyexist** » Sun Sep 09, 2018 12:55 am

Aren't all religions about taking them seriously and following the teachings? There are a lot of people that use the name of religion but unless it suits their situation, I think it's pretty throwaway. Even then, some are pretty dated and allow for too much interpretation.

I think the Universal Declaration of Human Rights is going down the right path. People take responsibility for themselves and not rely on a deity to keep them in check based on arbitrary rules or allow them to make excuses because they were born a sinner.

by **emillionth** » Sun Sep 09, 2018 1:15 am

iabsurdlyexist wrote:Aren't all religions about taking them seriously and following the teachings?

I guess. I meant that particular principle in this case though.

Whether something is or was historically branded as "religion" or "philosophy" or "science" is besides the point though, which is kind of my point.

Not all "religion" is equal, not all "science" is equal, and some of the latter actually is equal to some of the former, for better and worse. Good and bad thoughts and practices can come from anywhere, and some mask their essence (or the shared nature of their essence) through (re)branding.

How Do You Feel About People?

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