sakura1 wrote:can you explain more what do you mean when you say your control.
like what is inside your control? or how is inside?
i try to understand and i come to maybe everything that i feel i have no control over is constant source of anxiety that i want to avoid feeling but is imposssible to avoid feeling that without isolating yourself.
you can't even survive.maybe nons do not feel so intense this feeling so they don't mind it.
but i am not sure i undertood correctly what you mean.
i feel i used to be naive too.and the only way to protect myself is to not trust anything at all because i don't trust my judgement anymore.
(i don't think everyone in real life attacks eachother in short term.i think my feeling of luck of trust comes from something deeper in belonging with others than superficial likeability/sociality.)
I mean that I control my thoughts, my emotions, my perceptions, to an extent my body, and my actions. That's what I control. "The happiness of your life is the quality of your thoughts" -Marcus Aurelius. I think it's important to discipline one's thought life. I tried but I think meditation (and definitely "enlightenment") is a hoax. But you can choose your thoughts, at least I have been able to for the most part.
With anxiety, rude comments, crappy events (which are inevitable, regardless of how isolated you are): "Begin with small things. Is a little oil spilt? Is a little wine stolen. Say to yourself, 'this is the price of apathy, of tranquility, because nothing can be had for nothing.'" -Epictetus
These two quotes comes from Stoicism, an ancient Greco-Roman philosophy that's undergoing a revival. The goal is apatheia, or freedom from the passions, inner peace, through virtue. Oh yeah, think they believe that virtue is the only thing of value under one's control, not sure. The Cardinal Virtues are: wisdom, temperance, courage, and justice.
I would also say, from a book called You Can't Afford The Luxury of a Negative Thought: "Avoid People and Situations That Upset You." That's not cowardly, that's intelligent, which was the lesson the cowardly lion learned in the Wizard of Oz. Would you walk into a dark alley in a rough neighborhood at 4 am? That's not smart. That's irrational. There's such a thing as rational avoidance. Life will throw enough unexpected apples at you, so if you feel you want to isolate yourself like I do, by all means, do so.
Hope that helps.