Angry: Silent And Withdrawn

naps wrote:That's human nature. Most people lack the depth and initiative to think for themselves. They prefer to be part of the pack. They take their cues from others around them, trends, advertising etc.

That would explain why people so eager to be bossy: they assume the person will just blindly obey them in an effort to gain approval.

I think avoidance solves everything. It keeps the daydreams in check, it heals the anger, it calms down the anxiety and worry about future bull.

Usually I would call myself blissfully withdrawn. I wonder if that's because I am mostly withdrawn, and most of my interaction tends to be on the professional side, rather than the personal.

The times I do get angry are when life unavoidably meets my worst case scenario. There are things that I just know will happen, that people will act a certain way towards me because they have done so in the past, despite my protest and knowing it upsets me. I think I've gotten better at letting people know now why, very specifically, I am angry with them. I am a very calm angry person.

But still, the compulsion to withdraw myself is very strong if I am in a situation where someone has upset me. Being alone and in my own space is very comforting. People are not comforting, ever, not friends, or family.

I can really relate. I like how you put it: "blissfully withdrawn." I love walking into areas I was heading and finding that I'm gonna be all alone for who knows how long. I live moment to moment and try to ensure that I gain intrinsic pleasure from my extrinsic goals, in case I die tonight, not to be morbid.

I don't take comfort in most people either, with the exception of my bf.

I've been that way my entire life,
Anger was the one thing I had to use to work up the drive to live a lot of the time,
One time out of the blue my father told me he used to do the very same thing when he was young,
When I see people that try and take little liberties here and there with other people I instantly know to avoid them,
And based on what I see being talked about in the news I don't have a good impression of our societies priorities as a whole either
I'm tired of being constantly criticized for being in the negative even though I'm right 90% of the time,
That definitely made me want to withdraw from people in general,

When other people are in a bad mood, that doesn't bother me I leave them alone, but when I'm in a bad mood there's always some prick who has a problem with it, even if I'm just minding my own business (not glaring at people or acting hostile in any way), some c@nt has to come up and bother me over it, I HATE that about people,

Life naturally makes us angry and frustrated at times it's a part of it and you can't avoid it, yet there are SOME people that are genuinely offended if they see you in a bad mood,

They have NO intention of trying to help you or solve your problem, they just want you to stop being negative, I F&cking hate people like that and they're EVERYWHERE, there's always some f$cker like that no matter where you go.

Yeah I was once caught up in my maladaptive daydreams and was highly unstable. I didn't realize I had an angry facial expression, but it wasn't directed at anyone anyway. But the bus driver copped an attitude like it was personal.

in my own house it was like that,

My dad wouldn't let me get away with being in a bad mood either, people can tell if your in a bad mood even if you look and act completely normal but they'll pick up on the non verbal communication and still come after you for it,

People in general have a lot of consistent traits that I don't like and that's why I've naturally become conditioned over the years towards not letting my guard down around them, and I don't get lonely like most people do, So there was little initiative for me to go out of my way to open up to them.

Now this doesn't mean it was the right thing to do, But I don't feel regretful at all even now for doing it,

Yeah growing up, if someone was rude and disrespectful to me, my friends would blow it off and say, "oh maybe s/he's just having a bad day." But I was never allowed to "have a bad day."

-- Thu Sep 27, 2018 2:10 pm --

Smirks I like your sn. Do you do that? Do you smirk?

My psychologist says he appreciated my silent and withdrawn character since most people he sees are angry. For me, indifference and/or detachment has been my strong suit. Hard to be angry about something that really doesn't matter all that much to me. I think I actually just transferred things that frustrated or angered me into amusement. The more I distance myself, the better I feel about it.

I think the other path is lying or disillusionment. I've never been good at lying to myself. I guess I am too smart for that? This new business of Trump meaning to get laughs at the UN is a good example of how people do just that.

I wonder if my way is healthier but less accepted. Well, I am the one seeing docs so that answers my question.

Other people might call me withdrawn. They wouldn't typically think of me as angry, but I am angry at all times of all days. I understand anger well enough that it's not an issue. I never turn bright faced red and scream at people. I never threaten people. But I'm always a simmering soup of anger. I once had a doctor I explained this too and she seemed to think that made me ASPD or something, but she was Chinese and there seemed to be a major language and cultural barrier there. She tried putting me on all kinds of the wrong medicines because she mis-diagnosed me because she didn't really comprehend me at-all.

Anger is a bit too spicy for my bland emotional palate for me to indulge it often. I know what it feels like, and I know I've been angry before, and I just don't find it productive for my purposes. That's not to say I'm somehow better or more virtuous than "angry people", which is usually the accusation that gets lobbed at me when I say this. I respect folks that can alchemize their fury into meaningful results. I just think they're hard to come by, and harder to relate to.

Most feel more like an ex I had who confided in me once that he was thrilled to have found someone that "hated all the right things". I cringe just thinking about it. That memory stops me from being unnecessarily petty in more cases than I'd like to admit.

The times I've been angry, it was interesting at first because it's such a departure from my usual state, like I was finally excited for something. I quickly found out it's exhausting for me to maintain. Worse, it fritters away precious alone-time and brain-space I could be using for purer introspection. I think schizoids tend to fall in one camp or the other. I've seen some describe a kind of placid fury that's simply inconceivable to me (hey, do you), and others like myself that are more "meh" at their core and take the least-resistance path. Usually by avoiding and retreating from life. Both have their pros and cons, and neither are particularly healthy. I guess it just depends on which you're better at getting away with.

If I'm silent and withdrawn, it's because a) it's my preferred state and b) I'm rarely angry, sad, happy, self-loathing, or ignorant enough to participate in society any other way. I'd gotten in some pretty sticky situations as a teenager when I tried to force a level of emotional investment that simply wasn't there. In my adult life it's somehow been even more alienating to be truer to myself and admit I don't care all that much about... anything.

iabsurdlyexist wrote:For me, indifference and/or detachment has been my strong suit. Hard to be angry about something that really doesn't matter all that much to me. I think I actually just transferred things that frustrated or angered me into amusement. The more I distance myself, the better I feel about it.

Co-signed. My anger feels more like a mutated sense of humor too.

There are plenty of groups for whom being angry "together" is expected and encouraged. Family's one of them, and my family is really, really angry. (I'm reminded of the time my gran told me I had a cousin-by-marriage who was beaten to death with a chair by her spouse. Don't know if it's true or not, but she seemed to have some murky motive for telling me this that doesn't undermine the broader point I'm making.)

It's one of the big reasons I struggle to maintain an online presence in my professional life too. Being publicly angry feels like another form of "bonding" (where it isn't being blatantly commodified), only it places an extra bounty on your reputation for the person who can "take you down a peg".

I say where you can't make a joke, shutting up is always free.