What do you do to unwind after a long, hard socialization?

When i don't have autonomy i can get suicidal.
I feel i am in constant wait on defense until i can be alone.
I have gone in vacations though in the past and i have live with others and i don't remember how i manage.i am traumatized from the living and not from vacations are over at some point.
I tried to find some time or some place alone and waited until i could be alone.

Now i just wait until i can go to my bed or have a relaxing bath or watch something.
Maybe breathing.actually i don't know while i am somewhere i don't want to how to feel better. Usually is not so bad as i imagine but i feel like i am holding on patient until is over.

smirks wrote:One thing I kind of notice that I do is really try and organize my life, maybe to compensate for feeling helpless and adrift in parts of my life where collaboration with others has failed.

For sure. Something about a particularly draining event (going to dinner, roadtrips, family occasions, etc.) gives me such a kick in the pants.

The minute I'm alone again I get this urge to purge aaall the excess from my life, and it has to be right that instant. The longer I've been away, the more intense it is. I've moved furniture at 3AM, thrown out half my closet, washed every inch of myself-- admittedly a lot of pointless, superficial exercises in control. Just the impression that I'm being productive.

It peters out in a day or so, then it's business as usual. I don't leave my house again for another month. If I'm lucky.