Spd's working together?

I'm new to these forums, but I've been working through the spd diagnosis for about a year now. At first it was a little hard to accept, just because I never saw myself as someone with a mental illness so to speak. So in ways I'll talk like most of you understand spd since I'm not new to that. Also, I'll get to the working together part.

After dealing with the acceptance part I drifted away from my counselor because I didn't want to be told to go make friends for the millionth time. I swear normies can't comprehend the idea that I don't desire the whole endeavor that making pointless friendships is. They assume social interaction a biological drive or something i guess.

I also feel like spd has given me a few advantages in life. I tend to be very objective and rational. Anger is about the only emotion that pops up occasionally, but I don't usually make any decisions based on emotion. I'm also a good problem solver and because I spend most of my time thinking about everything, I figure out interesting solutions to most problems.

I have the benefit (imo) of knowing someone else with spd irl. We're the closest thing to real friends the other has. It has been helpful in learning about myself to see spd from an external perspective in my friend. I also happen to work at the same place with him (we met in counseling, I got him hired because he was the only person I knew who I would hire - and he had spd ).

I'm 28 and have worked at a few jobs dealing with different people. At one point I was (dreadfully) in charge of a few employees. In this position I learned for the first time that not everyone was able to take what they know and apply it to new situations or think logically through problem solving. To me it was easy to think through things and I pick things up quickly because of that.

I was skeptical when I recommended my friend with spd at work (even though he was the only person I would hire) because I expected him to be a normy worker I guess.

Thankfully I was wrong though. He works pretty much just like I do. He approaches problems like me, comes up with better solutions sometimes and everyone else has come to see him as an excellent hire.

So in summary, my questions for all of you are:

1. Have you noticed this kind of difference with people who have spd and those who do not?

2. Do you think that a business with some/all/just the core employees having spd would be better than otherwise? Would this hinder things like diversity of experience or opinion? (personally I might be biased in thinking we're smarter than everyone and above needing things like that, but echo chambers or group think aren't helpful.)

3. Would you want to work with someone who has spd or not?

For starters, welcome!

You seem like a type I'd prefer working with if I were forced to do so! ^.^

NiichanDaisuki wrote:So in summary, my questions for all of you are:

1. Have you noticed this kind of difference with people who have spd and those who do not?

I can think of three people I've known who I'm sure had SPD.

1st was a guy who was a friend of my ex and between places.

We lived in a place where the kitchen and the living room were joined by a wall that had an entrance on both sides. His bedroom was RIGHT by one entrance. The garage door was right by the other. We both very obviously knew the other was quickly darting to not have to make what felt like forced small talk before coffee (or ever.) Good guy. It was great how there were no negative feelings about knowing that we each didn't want to be around the other. When we drank we were suddenly the best friends. Never communicated otherwise unless something was needed.

The one awkward thing about the two of us was we were cool with each other but it almost seemed like we were trying too hard to be cool with each other. It kinda became stressful. It wasn't to impress the other but we would go out of our way to do things like making life easier on the other. It was I guess our odd attempt at showing respect for each other. We also had an entire unspoken language based off of not wanting to deal with people who my ex invited over. My ex was big on social gatherings. We could chat in company but it was almost like we were paying each other compliments by not talking to one another. It's a breath of fresh air to be in an understanding that both are awkward people who prefer silence rather than it being awkward silence.

My ex was an overdramatic nutjob. The schizoid guy wound up leaving early because of his BS. After he heard about our split, he came over to grab some things he left. While over he obligatorily checked on how I was. I felt the conversation was perfect.

Him: Heard about what happened. Ya'llright?

Me: Yep. A cop escorted him off of a bridge not long after I received a message saying "Remember I loved you." Seems they put him in a mental facility.

Him: Whelp. C'est la vie. I'm out.

Me: Yup. Bye man.

I'd be willing to work with this guy.

2nd My current boyfriend has a friend who strongly comes off that way. They've known each other for 20ish years. The guy (like the other) is a bachelor who never gets out, is quiet, eats mostly junk food, fairly smart, and cynical. He lucked out in working mostly from home. We used to not get along until the day when my boyfriend (who doesn't understand basic social rules) decided to let him know that I had recently been diagnosed schizoid. We never asked but both figured he was too. He quickly acted different around me after my schedule of being a robot. Unfortunately while I'm quiet face to face he does put in effort to make polite conversation. I can't decide whether I like or dislike him for that. I'd prefer if he were quiet but I know it's probably some lesson that was instilled in him or something equally terrible. The good thing is his version of small talk does tend to have some intelligence to it. It's not empty. That's the one thing that keeps me from avoiding him altogether when my boyfriend wants to hang out.

Not sure if I would want to work in the same room as him but he'd certainly be more tolerable than over 99% of others.

3rd is a woman who also matches these guys though not chatty like the 2nd. She used to work with me. I realized while typing we all are also crazy cat people. Each has a minimum of one cat. Not sure if that's a schizoid trait.

We got work done. When we talked work it was bullet points. It wasn't until we were sucked into an online work chat group that we realized we were both identical personality wise. We both wanted to get to know one another...but SPD. Got our own online chat then we were oddly social.

I've begged her to come back to work with me.

NiichanDaisuki wrote:personally I might be biased in thinking we're smarter than everyone and above needing things like that, but echo chambers or group think aren't helpful.

What you think that people who quietly meditate on their thoughts think more clearly and on their feet than people who are constantly trying to impress people face-to-face? The hell you say?!

NiichanDaisuki wrote:3. Would you want to work with someone who has spd or not?

Oh, gawd yes.

I would want to not work.

I'm a terrible team player by nature regardless of who else is playing. I can make efforts to compensate for that depending on the situation, but the fact remains. I would expect the same from schizoid people in general.

NiichanDaisuki wrote:They assume social interaction a biological drive or something i guess.

It is.

NiichanDaisuki wrote:Would you want to work

Let me stop you right there…

Seriously though, I'd prefer that my coworkers at least entertain me.

NiichanDaisuki wrote:Do you think that a business with some/all/just the core employees having spd would be better than otherwise?

Depends what you mean by 'better'. I would think a business where the employees are not externally motivated would be less successful by most measures.

anathegram wrote:Seriously though, I'd prefer that my coworkers at least entertain me.

You've had entertaining coworkers who weren't driving you nuts with inane idiocy? You're lucky.

All my previous coworkers were rednecks from a backward town who couldn't understand why I backed away when they started talking about basically wanting a 1950's life with a bazillion kids.

When I moved out of that town it went from rednecks to drama. I transferred from a store in that town to another out of town. First words I heard from my new boss were "Oh hey! Your last boss was my fiance before he got another woman knocked up!"

At least it was a change of atmosphere but I still didn't want people bothering me with that type of nonsense. Oh and by the way, that boss decided we were friends and that we needed to eat together at work...even on days she wasn't working.

I like my job now and a good chunk of my coworkers. Some of them I find rather entertaining at times. Difference is I work from home and rarely am forced to deal with them in person.

anathegram wrote:

NiichanDaisuki wrote:Do you think that a business with some/all/just the core employees having spd would be better than otherwise?

Depends what you mean by 'better'. I would think a business where the employees are not externally motivated would be less successful by most measures.

I first imagined an IT department when I read the question. That and for some reason I read better as "easier to deal with as a schizoid" rather than "competitive business".

I have been told I would be much happier if I worked together with people and that it's natural. But I've also been told that I will get hurt sometimes. Cost-benefit ratio: negative.

I love thinking, writing, reading, my to-do list. I love being alone. I think Aristotle said that makes people like me either a beast or a god.

I don't work well in teams. There are too many what if's:

1. What if they shuffle all the work onto me and then take the credit, and I'm still seen as a loser?
2. What if they lecture and harass me (like on reality shows) and how "we're a team"
3. What if they try to show boat?
4. What if they're competitive?
5. What if they're backstabbing psychopaths?

Just because something is natural doesn't mean I should have to do it. I know to stay away.