Do You Isolate Yourself?

I asked my shrink if I'm schizoid and she said no, I'm worse, I'm schizophrenic, though I don't hallucinate per se, just excessively daydream about being screwed over by other people. So I distract myself/keep busy and isolate myself from people as much as possible, which, strangely enough, my therapist suggested. I love it. I don't trust people. I'm polite to them as I don't want any trouble, just peace.

Do you isolate yourself?

Delusions eh? That's my issue also. Avoidance has helped.

As for isolation, I don't go out of my way to see people nor do I restrict myself from going out. My going out is not to see people but accomplish something and I am not afraid of doing that. I am completely independent in most things so it works out just fine. Anything that I do socially is due to me tagging along with my wife. She helps me maintain a sense of reality.

Same. I don't tend to go anywhere and when I do I typically hang off on the side quietly. I can be good socially if someone else starts being to me but that's pretty much it. I do want to be social but I have a block. It's not fear (I don't think). It might be fear of commitment to feeling as though I feel I will be expected to be available when they call on me. It isn't a fear of being in a conversation or saying the wrong thing though.

Also, ever since I balanced out my meds I haven't been nearly as delusional nor felt a desperate need to leave early like I did a few months ago and back. When that was the case, I could stay maybe three hours before I'd start desperately insisting we leave despite not having any reason to go. I've actually found myself wanting to stay which is a weird feeling culture shock.

On Father's Day, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go with him. He knows I don't like big social gatherings so he always asks assuming I won't want to go. His family is huge and he has a much better connection with his family even though they're dysfunctional as heck. I like his family for the most part. I tend to mingle best with people who are a bit on the quirky side. I went and did my thing by going off to the side. One came up to me and asked me to join the rest of the crowd. She married into the family and though patient, she's still learning how to deal with each one's quirks. I responded that I was good and that I'm not the social group type. She responded, "Well, what if we sat away from people and I talked at you?" That worked for me. Slowly my boyfriend and her husband joined. I didn't like it as much but I didn't have much of a problem with that.

If I could figure out a way to have socialness with one other person I'd likely do it. Making friends offline is a hurdle for me. I don't go anywhere and know that if I attempted to friend one of those family members they'd drive me nuts. Heaven forbid I turn on data with my phone. They have a text group and I tell them data charges are too expensive for me to involve myself.

I do.

Even when I lived with other people, I was a master at adjusting my sleeping schedule to avoid running into other people. I time my exit from my building in order not to run into people.

I don't do it because I am afraid people will screw me over. I do it because I am at my most relaxed and happy when I am alone.

I have been working a lot over the past year (12+ hour days) and just recently had a week left mostly to my own devices, and it was such a healing experience for me.

@smirks I'm not saying this is why for you but if I worked 12+ hour days I definitely wouldn't ever want anything to do with people. Even if I worked a job where I didn't see anyone. Same thing would happen with classes or whatever.

I know because I've both worked those hours regularly (both with and without people around) as well as took way too many classes.

All work and no play makes Holodeck an extremely unsocial zombie looking for time alone rather than brains.

If it wasn't for family obligations, I wouldn't interact with anyone, ever - except cashiers at the supermarket. If I didn't have to work, I would only leave the house to buy food.

nis wrote:If it wasn't for family obligations, I wouldn't interact with anyone, ever - except cashiers at the supermarket. If I didn't have to work, I would only leave the house to buy food.

Why?

Holodeck wrote:@smirks I'm not saying this is why for you but if I worked 12+ hour days I definitely wouldn't ever want anything to do with people. Even if I worked a job where I didn't see anyone. Same thing would happen with classes or whatever.

I know because I've both worked those hours regularly (both with and without people around) as well as took way too many classes.

All work and no play makes Holodeck an extremely unsocial zombie looking for time alone rather than brains.

I'm not saying that it's healthy, but I can dissociate from myself and just play a role for a good long period of time. Plus, in a professional setting, the demand on me for affection or interpersonal connection is not that great. I had a coworker give me a hug recently though, and that's more anxiety-producing than working 12 hour days.

But yeah, there's nothing left at the end of the day. Luckily, my career is really second nature to me, so 12 hour days are not as tiring as they otherwise would be.

I used to think I lacked the gene (or whatever it is) that's responsible for making humans social animals.

Yes, I isolate myself. If I lived in a more rural area I'd probably go out more, but where I live it's just people people people the second I step out the door.

I simply don't like being around others.

I grew up in a rural area as a sheltered kid. I started homeschooling due to having too many bullies on top of my mom wanting to be even more of a helicopter parent than she already was.

The few times I was around people who I knew didn't know my parents well I'd turn into an incessant chatterbox. I was quiet the rest of the time. When I got into college I became even more of an awkward chatty Cathy.

After 7 years following of extreme trauma, I left my state and am now residing in a largish city to get away from the lunatic who started it. My job is from home but teleconferencing with many people a day is involved. All of this turned my hyperneed to get involved with people to a stand still.

I came to terms with the fact that I'm socially awkward to the point of confusing people with how I act towards situations. Sometimes they take offense. Sometimes I explain why or if they annoy me I generally don't.

Even with all of that, I tend to lean towards wanting to be social. I can stave it off to a large part by escaping into my head but still I prefer one on one with someone in reality. That way I don't feel I have to pay attention to more than one person and I get the chance to hear another talk about something in a different light than my brain regurgitating it's own thoughts to itself.

Another part is people tend to tell the truth more when one on one. They're less likely to mirror what another is saying. It's not hard for me to tell when they're trying to do it to me either because they normally don't fully understand why I act the way I do and slip up enough to the point of giving up. Maybe it's because I'm isolated to the point of being constantly on the verge of boredom but I actually find messing with people like this entertaining especially if they clearly have a narcissistic streak.

Point is, that yes, I'm isolated but I believe it's overstimulous which I'm not used to that makes me behave this way. I would likely more enjoy communication with people otherwise.