Am I a Schizoid or else?

Hello fellow members. First of all I'm new to the forum, that's why I am posting such a cliche or even stupid subject. But anyway my intent is mostly to hear the opinion of you about this kind of situation, about such symptoms and behavioral patterns.
I've never been diagnosed with anything specific, despite being sent to therapists as a child and later in University. But these were very short and where I live are expensive. Many relatives have thought me as highly intelligent, thought very odd and "crazy". My mother and aunt are psychologists and have also manifested concern sometimes about schizophrenic/schizotypal traits, mostly my aunt. From what I have read Schizoid and/or schizotypal traits are very similar to autism. During my childhood I was informally labeled as autistic by some, since I exhibited many of the traits like social withdrawal, proneness to fantasy, and daily entered in vivid conscient day dreams. These "dreams" were created consciously,like imagining a big modern Battlefield every place I went. Though I am usually a nice guy, O have difficult withstanding people and am manipulative sometimes, even anti-social. I think most people would see that as autistic/schizoid, although I am perceived by some(mostly women) as psychopathic, because I don't avoid eye contact, and got to admit that I stare a lot with no emotion, I also a very fearless kid. I remember that about 4-5 years old I ate 2 or 3 of my petfishes in different occasion, But don't If that os expected for the age. So I would like to discuss your experiences and to know If these traits are more schizoid, anti-social or else.

Wolfheim wrote:Hello fellow members. First of all I'm new to the forum, that's why I am posting such a cliche or even stupid subject.

Eh, long as you aren't expecting a diagnosis it's all good.

Wolfheim wrote:I've never been diagnosed with anything specific, despite being sent to therapists as a child and later in University. But these were very short and where I live are expensive.

I know a short time isn't much to go on but do you recall them giving any thoughts about your case?

Wolfheim wrote:Many relatives have thought me as highly intelligent, thought very odd and "crazy". My mother and aunt are psychologists and have also manifested concern sometimes about schizophrenic/schizotypal traits, mostly my aunt.

My relatives haven't worked in mental health but they had the same concern with myself. Both of my parents confronted me about it quite often when I was a teenager.

Wolfheim wrote:From what I have read Schizoid and/or schizotypal traits are very similar to autism. During my childhood I was informally labeled as autistic by some, since I exhibited many of the traits like social withdrawal, proneness to fantasy, and daily entered in vivid conscient day dreams. These "dreams" were created consciously,like imagining a big modern Battlefield every place I went.

1) yes they are similar
2) Do you suspect all three?
3) Do you have certain autistic features such as:

a) Being a stickler for rules or have needs to do things in a ritualistic way?
b) If you don't feel like something is the way you think it should be, do you fixate on it? For example: if someone does something you don't expect (especially in an emotional way) do you constantly think about it in sort of obsessive way until perhaps you figure out a logical reason for their behavior. Another example is if you have a hard time agreeing to disagree (even in a friendly manner).
c) Oversensitivity to sound and touch despite having an oddly high pain tolerance.

4) The daydreaming you describe is common for all three. I don't know exactly how far you went with them but if you spent too much time daydreaming to the point of not getting things done or felt as though you needed to daydream in order to get through the day then it's called maladaptive daydreaming.

Wolfheim wrote:Though I am usually a nice guy, O have difficult withstanding people and am manipulative sometimes, even anti-social.

I think most people can identify with this to an extent though I would wonder about the bolded part. Both schizos and autism are known to have problems with this.

Wolfheim wrote:I don't avoid eye contact, and got to admit that I stare a lot with no emotion, I also a very fearless kid

Some on the autism spectrum either avoid eye contact stare rather intensely. From what I've read online most schizoids including myself tend to dislike eye contact to the point of avoiding it but there are plenty of others saying they have no problems making it. I don't know if the ones that don't mind doing it stare a lot.

Can you describe something "fearless" you did? I'm wondering if it could be to do with high pain tolerance or lack of registering certain social cues.

Wolfheim wrote:I remember that about 4-5 years old I ate 2 or 3 of my petfishes in different occasion, But don't If that os expected for the age. So I would like to discuss your experiences and to know If these traits are more schizoid, anti-social or else.

Young kids do a lot of odd things. I would chalk that one up to that.

Holodeck wrote:

Wolfheim wrote:I've never been diagnosed with anything specific, despite being sent to therapists as a child and later in University. But these were very short and where I live are expensive.

I know a short time isn't much to go on but do you recall them giving any thoughts about your case?

The first time I was very young, so I would just draw and play toys, so I wasn't told anything. This time I was sent to therapy because my parents were divorcing and I used to draw dragons and Monsters in school despite the subject I was supposed to. About 9 I had paternal parenthood problems and was distanced from my father for some years, seeing him once ir twice a month(we all found that he was not my biological father). The second time I was in University and since It was psychoanalytic brief therapy they didn't diagnose me, and I didn't ask also.

Holodeck wrote:

Wolfheim wrote:
From what I have read Schizoid and/or schizotypal traits are very similar to autism. During my childhood I was informally labeled as autistic by some, since I exhibited many of the traits like social withdrawal, proneness to fantasy, and daily entered in vivid conscient day dreams. These "dreams" were created consciously,like imagining a big modern Battlefield every place I went.

1) yes they are similar
2) Do you suspect all three?
3) Do you have certain autistic features such as:

a) Being a stickler for rules or have needs to do things in a ritualistic way?
b) If you don't feel like something is the way you think it should be, do you fixate on it? For example: if someone does something you don't expect (especially in an emotional way) do you constantly think about it in sort of obsessive way until perhaps you figure out a logical reason for their behavior. Another example is if you have a hard time agreeing to disagree (even in a friendly manner).
c) Oversensitivity to sound and touch despite having an oddly high pain tolerance.

2) By "all three" do you mean autism, Schizoid Personality and Schizotypal? Or are you also including anti-social?
I usually identify myself with both autism and Schizoid, sometimes anti-social but less.
3)a)- I am very ritualistic and like to stick to my own ethics and rules.
b)Yes, I get very obsessed when something unexpected happens and try to deal with It in a logical way. This obsession also occurs with abstract and intellectual topics. I'm not sure about having difficulty disagreeing, because I disagree a lot with intimate people, I even have some sudden bursts of anger when someone who knows less than me about something stubbornly refuses to see my point or when their feelings get in the way of logical thinking. In these cases I become verbally very aggressive and even offensive, in rare occasions I try to humiliate the person dependending on their arrogance.
c) Overall I am sensitive to sound, about touching It varies on the person and the way, but often I prefer to keep personal distance.

Holodeck wrote:4) The daydreaming you describe is common for all three. I don't know exactly how far you went with them but if you spent too much time daydreaming to the point of not getting things done or felt as though you needed to daydream in order to get through the day then it's called maladaptive daydreaming.

When I must do anything important I can avoid them and focus, but when someone os talking something uninteresting or I am doing an easy activity I go aloof.

Holodeck wrote:

Wolfheim wrote:Though I am usually a nice guy, O have difficult withstanding people and am manipulative sometimes, even anti-social.

I think most people can identify with this to an extent though I would wonder about the bolded part. Both schizos and autism are known to have problems with this.

By that I mean that they are too boring, seem stupid and weak. Despite that I am known to be a very fluent speaker and can assume leadership in professional and practical contexts. About pain I am indifferent overall.

Holodeck wrote:

Wolfheim wrote:I don't avoid eye contact, and got to admit that I stare a lot with no emotion, I also a very fearless kid

Some on the autism spectrum either avoid eye contact stare rather intensely. From what I've read online most schizoids including myself tend to dislike eye contact to the point of avoiding it but there are plenty of others saying they have no problems making it. I don't know if the ones that don't mind doing it stare a lot.

I am uncertain about that either, I can avoid eye contact and do many times, but not out of fear or anxiety

Holodeck wrote:Can you describe something "fearless" you did? I'm wondering if it could be to do with high pain tolerance or lack of registering certain social cues.

As a kid I would swim in deep waters, jump from high rocks and do reckless things with bike. At 9, I jumped to grab a metal structure and fell, breaking my arm and suffering head trauma, this last with no Brain injury. Since 12 I ve been in martial arts and broke the other arm, besides the nose two times.

Holodeck wrote:Some on the autism spectrum either avoid eye contact stare rather intensely. From what I've read online most schizoids including myself tend to dislike eye contact to the point of avoiding it but there are plenty of others saying they have no problems making it. I don't know if the ones that don't mind doing it stare a lot.

I tend to stare but I make eye contact due to plenty of practice. It's usually awkward for me because it doesn't really make sense and I spend more time concentrating on making eye contact and then I tend to miss what is being said. However, it's something I know I am supposed to do.

One of my earliest memories was of a teacher scolding me for something and I just stared and wondered about the contacts in her eyes. If I was actually paying attention to her words, I might remember why I was being scolded. My only other memory for that time was that I would always sit in a beanbag chair with a girl and the teacher eventually said we couldn't do that anymore. The memories could be tied.

Wolfheim wrote:The first time I was very young, so I would just draw and play toys, so I wasn't told anything. This time I was sent to therapy because my parents were divorcing and I used to draw dragons and Monsters in school despite the subject I was supposed to. About 9 I had paternal parenthood problems and was distanced from my father for some years, seeing him once ir twice a month(we all found that he was not my biological father).

Yeah, that scenery where people didn't focus on how you learned would make for a person having difficulties later on no matter what they may/may not have had going on in their head originally.

Wolfheim wrote:The second time I was in University and since It was psychoanalytic brief therapy they didn't diagnose me, and I didn't ask also.

Maybe I'm missing something but was there a reason for doing this?

Wolfheim wrote:2) By "all three" do you mean autism, Schizoid Personality and Schizotypal? Or are you also including anti-social?

Sorry, I got on my own train of thought and forgot to say that I meant autism, schizoid PD, and schizotypal PD. I don't know enough about anti-social PD to know if it's similar enough.

Wolfheim wrote:I'm not sure about having difficulty disagreeing, because I disagree a lot with intimate people, I even have some sudden bursts of anger when someone who knows less than me about something stubbornly refuses to see my point or when their feelings get in the way of logical thinking. In these cases I become verbally very aggressive and even offensive, in rare occasions I try to humiliate the person dependending on their arrogance.

For starters, I want to say that though I'm not on the spectrum (for what it's worth I was dx'd with schizoid personality disorder) my boyfriend has aspergers. He matches nearly everything you've mentioned in this paragraph to a 'T'. With him these things happen for a variety of reasons, however, it usually boils down to these things:

1) Aspergers runs in his family. Since they did the same things no one exactly sat him down to explain to him why people seem to overreact to things or why they have what translate to him as illogical reasoning.

He was the youngest of a large family and about when he came around his parents essentially had the tv raise him. Tv shows have a script. They often have people insulting each other and in older shows, those insults will be often followed by a laugh track and the character gets idealized somewhat due to the viewers wishing they could say that to someone without repercussions.

He sees everyone as boring easy to figure out tv tropes despite not always reading them properly. Not saying that everyone he deems boring is interesting but life tends to be a bit duller when having the delusion of everyone being a 2D character who all lack depth except in rare circumstances where the writers stepped back up to the plate.

Insults...basically anything one might construe as verbally offensive is merely a set of words to him. That's not merely due to tv but he and I both believe it reinstilled it. He told me once that he basically used tv to figure out how people react to things.

He's very articulate, fairly charming, intelligent, funny, knows a ton of pop culture references and can make someone warm up to him fast with all of this etc. At some point though, he'll start talking about something that's offensive in some way or a topic that's way more information than his audience wanted to know and in turn can't get why they react so poorly to him after.

He enjoys burning bridges too so after they act that way he'll often do something to which usually involves like you said verbal humiliation. This is done in an obnoxiously shameless manner and I'm typically not present. I get the joys of hearing about it all later whilst shaking my head and groaning.

I figure that bit is basically where you're getting the idea of being anti-social. My psychologist once started to say he was a sociopath but said: "You're kind of a socio...instrumental hedonist aren't you?" She flat out said he was a narcissist (which we both already knew) and while walking on eggshells she said he seemed to have a few borderline traits as well. That's when he got offended by words.

I'm sure he wouldn't say offended. That would be weak. His words, however, became much more precise and sharp which is when he strongly dislikes something at a personal level. He ended up agreeing but was clearly bitter about it.

2) He has rules for everything in life. Everything has a set code with him. If something falls out of line with the code then it's wrong. Until something is shown to him in a way he sees logical it will always bother him. He doesn't tend to talk about it nonstop but I can always tell something is eating at him when it comes to these things and if I was there when the "wrong event" occurred I do my best to help him see the other point of view. Sometimes this works sometimes it doesn't. He and I both are logical thinkers who like to debate and problem solve so though the "wrong thing" might anger him he knows I am reasonable enough of a partner to not overreact (my SPD helps here though hah).

Wolfheim wrote:c) Overall I am sensitive to sound, about touching It varies on the person and the way, but often I prefer to keep personal distance.

My guy's sensitive to specific sounds and textures. When we talked about moving in together his only rule was never to ever use nail clippers within a mile radius of him. I've seen it happen where that sound or one similar makes noise and he will be in immense pain and even have a migraine from it.

Wolfheim wrote:I am uncertain about that either, I can avoid eye contact and do many times, but not out of fear or anxiety

I don't believe I've ever heard of anything anxiety related to that and autism. That doesn't mean it doesn't exist but according to my boyfriend he hasn't had that issue.

Holodeck wrote:Can you describe something "fearless" you did? I'm wondering if it could be to do with high pain tolerance or lack of registering certain social cues.

Wolfheim wrote:As a kid I would swim in deep waters, jump from high rocks and do reckless things with bike. At 9, I jumped to grab a metal structure and fell, breaking my arm and suffering head trauma, this last with no Brain injury. Since 12 I ve been in martial arts and broke the other arm, besides the nose two times.

Yeah, this sounds like the high pain tolerance issue I was talking about. No pain = less fear of potential pain. It's not that my boyfriend doesn't feel pain but it takes a LOT. This kid has broken near to everything and even once accidentally chopped off a part of his thumb while cooking at his parents' place. He never felt any pain from it and basically cleaned everything up, nonchalantly wrapped it up, finished his meal while claiming it was a "minor injury". He wound up getting light-headed from blood loss and that's when we found out. He said since it didn't hurt and he was hungry he decided he could wait to go to the hospital.

You can think of other people being weak when feeling pain if you want but I prefer to know when something is wrong rather than not even noticing I'm injured because I didn't feel it then wind up horribly injured or worse.

Yesterday, on Youtube, I watched a Schizophrenic take an Autism test and he scored similar to me. The social deficits from either disorder can come across similarly. Of course, there are some fairly clear differences. However, what about the Schizophrenia without positive symptoms? Also, how hard and capable you are at working on your deficits. Low vs high functioning in particular areas.

I use to have similar anger outbreaks when logic was not used but realized the majority of people are not logic based. If you want to appeal to or explain things, you have to understand who you are talking to. In certain instances with my wife, I just don't try because I know it will end badly. BTW, I don't think anger is necessarily a trait of any disorder but as stated in the previous post, may stem from environmental issues.

Antisocial is more of a disregard for other people in a negative connotation, which, I haven't seen from what you have written. Asocial means that you just lack the need and/or motivation to engage socially.

Are you having issues with your traits? Usually, if you aren't struggling due to your traits, you may be just fine. Not sure if I missed this explanation.

iabsurdlyexist wrote:

Holodeck wrote:Some on the autism spectrum either avoid eye contact stare rather intensely. From what I've read online most schizoids including myself tend to dislike eye contact to the point of avoiding it but there are plenty of others saying they have no problems making it. I don't know if the ones that don't mind doing it stare a lot.

I tend to stare but I make eye contact due to plenty of practice. It's usually awkward for me because it doesn't really make sense and I spend more time concentrating on making eye contact and then I tend to miss what is being said. However, it's something I know I am supposed to do.

One of my earliest memories was of a teacher scolding me for something and I just stared and wondered about the contacts in her eyes. If I was actually paying attention to her words, I might remember why I was being scolded. My only other memory for that time was that I would always sit in a beanbag chair with a girl and the teacher eventually said we couldn't do that anymore. The
memories could be tied.

I don't know if the quote is ok, but I will write a single reply. First, sorry for the delay in answering, the last weeks have been busy and overall your post was very helpful and clear.

Yes, by what you say, there are many common traits between your boyfriend and me. Apart from sociocultural differences or specific individualities(like the fact that I can't stand TV or popular culture overall), your description matches many behaviors. The thing is werid, my biological paternal grandmother, who I have seen only once, says she is psychic. She said that the first and only time we met, and also said she noticed that I was "sensitive". My mother says that my biological father has some schizotypal traits, she used to believe he had real paranoi with schizophrenic features, but since she conffirmed his story is "real" she is more comfortable now. Both him and my grandmother are incredibly intelligent and kind, though very rational, she even cold. If any, a schizotypal or schizoid trait would be more plausible for them. I think I am a bit more social.