Selective mutism

I've read some places saying people who've been dx'd with selective mutism are often diagnosed as schizoid as well. I had selective mutism (completely mute) 9-14 years old. I still have issues with it, but not near as extreme as it was. I'm curious if anyone else has/had that issue.

Awww...nobody answered your thread. I will.

I tried selective mutism during my bullying years. It didn't work. Not with my mother. So I swapped it for perpetual disdain.

I can vouch for social anxiety but there was never a time where I couldn't speak. I'm not quite sure how much wiggle room there is like could it be forced? But yeah, how often do you really have to speak in school? In my case, I found out not very much.

Looking at the Wikipedia article really makes me think about how confusing mental health gets when all these traits are shared between diagnosis. Looking at the characterization, I can relate to that. As for the other symptoms section, I could check off every one of those.

This seems like a defense mechanism to the extreme but I'd say the underlying cause is similar to social anxiety. How each individual reacts to the same underlying condition is what makes this so difficult. Really getting to the core of what is truly happening on the inside vs what's coming out on the outside makes me not want to get into the business that much more. Curious, sure but a painstakingly painful frustrating puzzle. $#%^, I struggle to understand myself.

@naps Thanks for the response. ^.^

iabsurdlyexist wrote:I can vouch for social anxiety but there was never a time where I couldn't speak.

Sometimes I could whisper, but it was extremely quiet. Most had to practically read lips to know what I was saying.

I'm not quite sure how much wiggle room there is like could it be forced?

In my case, no. I started talking again when I was taken out of a very traumatic situation involving my school. Even that took a while.

But yeah, how often do you really have to speak in school?

I went to a micro town "christian" school. The largest class I was ever in was 15 students. I had to respond to people a lot, since there weren't as many to call on. Admittedly teachers often didn't pick me due to not wanting to try to figure out what I was saying.

Looking at the Wikipedia article...

Funny. I've never read the wiki on it. I was dx'd and didn't think of some of the symptoms being related. Makes sense though.

Shyness, social anxiety, fear of social embarrassment, and/or social isolation and withdrawal

Shyness was due to fear of responsibility to talk when I couldn't. Social embarrassment was more due to bullies who often made me and a friend of mine go through horrible things when I did something incorrectly. Due to both of these the last part happened a lot till I left that school.

Difficulty maintaining eye contact

I still have trouble with this. I think it's due to habit. I can do it for so long before it feels unnatural.

Blank expression and reluctance to smile

Maybe this is partially where my flat affect comes from.

Difficulty expressing feelings, even to family members

Hi. How's the forum doin'?

Tendency to worry more than most people of the same age

I'm still a nervous wreck over things I shouldn't even worry about.

Sensitivity to noise and crowds

Noise is the only one that bothers me, unless I know people in the crowd.

On the positive side, many people with this condition have:
Above-average intelligence, perception, or inquisitiveness

I know ten languages, I excel at my job, I tend to be able to salvage myself and others in awkward scenarios. I was driven into books by my anxiety, and watched how others did things.

Creativity and a love for art or music

I pace around neurotically muttering to myself while maladaptive daydreaming most of the day, but their version sure does sound more pleasant.

Empathy and sensitivity to others' thoughts and feelings

Yes. Even though I have a problem both feeling and expressing emotion around others, I still will go out of my way (in a sense worrying over them) to make things better for everyone. If I don't then I become extremely overly sensitive about it later. Usually I can block things out unless it's something I feel I should have been able to change. Those thoughts can easily haunt me if I don't take care of them.

I feel like this has to do with having bullies not only do things that bullies regularly do in school, but also there were a few situations I have guilt over that I likely won't ever get over. Two kids were nearly killed at my school. They both left after that. One was accused of attempted rape on a teacher's kid to get him thrown out, and after a girl bully found out her crush was gay she frequently sexually harassed both her crush and his. His crush was my best friend too. We didn't tell because a) backwater christian school and b) she was the one who tried to kill the other kids.

Karma wound up biting her by having her OD on diet pills. Now she's a vegetable in a wheelchair.

A strong sense of right and wrong

See above.

It went from elective to selective mutism. Meaning at first I chose not to speak, but later I couldn't speak if I tried. I can talk normally now, but in specific situations I can't. It is better though in the sense that I won't technically be mute. I can do things like sound effect type noises, humming that sort of thing. It won't be actual words though.

This seems like a defense mechanism to the extreme but I'd say the underlying cause is similar to social anxiety.

Definitely is. Over time it simply became a thing where when I now hear the right thing said I have to pause, I stop talking, and it's very difficult to get back to normal. It's almost like a form of hypnotism.

I grew up in a trailer park in the middle of nowhere. I went to a public elementary school with split grade classrooms about 20 students each and thankfully, I was never singled out. Everyday on the bus, we did pass by one of those small christian schools.

My wife went to a christian school so she insists our kids go there. It's not a big one and my son had a tough time because he didn't fit in with the only group there is at a school like that. One daughter did fine but both are happier in public school. The other daughter had anxiety issues due to one of the teachers.

As for diagnosed, my first meeting with a dentist wasn't until I was 12. I didn't meet a doctor until I joined the Air Force and where I found out mental issues can get treated. Prior to that, the rule of thumb was suck it up, which, I guess was for anything. It might be where my independence comes from.

Anyway, the social anxiety never really let up. There has been numbing over time but that also coincides with the strengthening dissociation and schizoid traits. I've just never been the type to care enough and voice my opinion, just go with the flow. So, it really hasn't helped me defeat this. You'd think working for a large company communicating with all sorts of people from every side of the business would do the trick but no, still the same me. All it really did was cause me undue stress.

Holodeck wrote:I've read some places saying people who've been dx'd with selective mutism are often diagnosed as schizoid as well. I had selective mutism (completely mute) 9-14 years old. I still have issues with it, but not near as extreme as it was. I'm curious if anyone else has/had that issue.

I've never had that, but my daughter does. She has selective mutism and pretty severe social anxiety. She's not schizoid though. She used to have a group of friends at school, so I know she likes hanging out with people, and she lacks most of the other schizoid traits. Her problem is her anxiety. That's the reason she has selective mutism.

I rarely experience anxiety, so I don't know where she got it from. I used to have a real bad temper with her when she was younger, so maybe I contributed to her anxiety. She used to get bullied at school as well, so that likely contributed to it too, but she had anxiety even before she ever started school. She'd get anxious and play up something bad when even just leaving her in daycare as a toddler and her anxiety made her violent. She'd bite, kick and hit other kids, and even me at times. She was a nightmare of a kid to raise, but she's much better now. Still has selective mutism though and social phobia. She's had that all her life and will probably have it for the rest of it.

Yep. Sounds like she learned it was better to be quiet than deal with people against her. That's basically how it worked for me.

Over time I gained a sort of phobia for being too quiet due to later on in life learning to stand up for myself being more beneficial than being a doormat. I had pretty bad social anxiety too (was basically AvPD). Hopefully she'll learn to grow out of it. Took me around the age of 25 before I grew out of it. Even still I have small issues with it when I remember a traumatic memory.

I was selectively mute for 4 months in kindergarten. I wasn't selectively mute in preschool though. I had schizoid traits until I was 10 years old when I grew out of them. I grew up as the kid that didn't care what others thought. My indifference to praise and criticism was often pointed out by others. That suddenly changed one day though. I now have an extreme social anxiety disorder, but not selective mutism